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Showing stories written by Rudolph Schlong

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Man shoves 37 fireworks up his arse and dies

Funny story: Man shoves 37 fireworks up his arse and dies

A man who stuck 37 fireworks in his backside has died from fatal burns after a stray roman candle exploded out of sequence. Mario Bollocktelly from Manchester was performing his annual firework arse stuffing extravaganza for local orphans when a C...

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Pensioner has her back door smashed in

Funny story: Pensioner has her back door smashed in

An elderly woman from Margate was recovering today after her back door was smashed in by a rampaging Rottweiler dog. The pensioner was bending over to feed her cat when all of a sudden she felt a furry presence between her legs - as the cat fl...

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Cow's arse hit with banjo

Funny story: Cow's arse hit with banjo

A six year old Friesian cow was recovering today after its arse was repeatedly hit by a mysterious banjo wielding maniac. It had been grazing in a field when the attacker approached it from behind and started beating its backside with the spherica...

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Social Networking website sets new insult guidelines

Funny story: Social Networking website sets new insult guidelines

The social networking site where your Face is in a Book or where your Face and all your personal details are sold to the highest bidder, has published guidelines on how you can go about insulting one of your 'friends' without being sued or stabbed.

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The Isle of Man tells the Isle of Wight to "fuck off"

Funny story: The Isle of Man tells the Isle of Wight to "fuck off"

The island off the North West coast of England that has been receiving no attention from any Spoof writers, has openly expressed its disgust by telling its cousin off the South Coast of England to "fuck off". The Isle of Man shouted the obscenity...

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Woman has Vuvuzela removed from her vagina

Funny story: Woman has Vuvuzela removed from her vagina

A 24 year old woman from East London was taken to hospital on Friday evening to have a vuvuzela removed from her vagina. The vuvuzela became stuck in her vagina after she had watched the World Cup quarter final between Ghana and Uruguay but the wo...

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