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Rooney caught red handed

Funny story: Rooney caught red handed

Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney has been caught trespassing into the London Zoo at 2:16am this morning. The striker was identified when the groundskeeper checked in at 6am. "I saw the footballer lying down near the gorilla cages...

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Cristiano Ronaldo: "I'm better than Messi"

Real Madrid and Portugese winger Cristiano Ronaldo insists 'Lionel Messi is the most overrated player ever to grace a football pitch.' The Portugese superstar believes he is better, and has apparent hard evidence to back this up. "Just take a l...

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Manchester United sign Emile Heskey

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has yet again shocked the world by making which some call the shrewdest of shrewd buying. He has picked up Emile Heskey at an extremely low price of 23 million pounds. "I am very happy to be at a club th...

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Capello sent to rehab

England manager Fabio Capello was arrested earlier today for assaulting German national football team coach Joachim Low. Apparently the two manager were enjoying a peaceful beer together when suddenly, Capello smashed his bottle over Mr. Low's head.

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Gary Neville 'has had enough'

Manchester United superstar right back sensation Gary Neville has issues a plea for the world to stop hating him. "Yes I know I've been a cunt, but that's all in the past. I'm a completely changed man," Neville was interviewed earlier this week. "...

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Wayne Rooney 'annoyed' at England team mates & Fabio Capello. None of it his fault.

Funny story: Wayne Rooney 'annoyed' at England team mates & Fabio Capello. None of it his fault.

Wayne Rooney has been caught having an angry nipper tantrum in the privacy of his bedroom in Merseyside, England. The England squad returned to their country a day ago, after being thrashed 4-1 by Germany in the last 16 of the World Cup. Wayne Roo...

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Ian Dowie named Liverpool manager!

Liverpool chairman Martin Broughton has shocked the world with his bizarre decision to elect ex-Hull boss Ian Dowie the managerial position at Liverpool Football Club. "There were not many candidates available," Broughton said in an interview. "It...

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Breaking news…

Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!

Tea tree oils and lavender oil increase the size of male breasts scientists have discovered. Sorry ladies, a trip to Silicone Valley is still necessary for you!
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