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Isle of Wight Independence Party promises referendum following election

Funny story: Isle of Wight Independence Party promises referendum following election

In a shocking addendum to their manifesto released last week, the Isle of Wight Independence Party (IWIP) has promised the island's residents a referendum on the subject of independence if they are successful in next weeks election. 'If Independen...

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Dudley Council to clamp down on irresponsible dog-owners

Funny story: Dudley Council to clamp down on irresponsible dog-owners

Residents of Dudley, in the West Midlands, have become so enraged with irresponsible dog owners who allow their pets to foul in public places and then fail to clear up their mess, that they have demanded that the local council take drastic action.

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Criminal sues police over unflattering photo-fit

Funny story: Criminal sues police over unflattering photo-fit

Career criminal, Ashley Frat, 27, has reportedly been awarded a considerable out of court settlement following his recent legal action against the Metropolitan Police. Mr Frat was convicted earlier this month for aggravated burglary following a ra...

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Woman attacks builders for improper behaviour

Funny story: Woman attacks builders for improper behaviour

Verruca Fluck, a 23 year-old hairdresser from Bolton, has taken unprecedented legal action today against a gang of local builders. Miss Fluck has accused the group of acting in an entirely inappropriate and ungentlemanly manner. Allegedly, Mis...

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Celebrity Big Brother to end as supply of 'Celebrities' runs out?

Funny story: Celebrity Big Brother to end as supply of 'Celebrities' runs out?

A leaked report from the producers of the Channel 5 programme, Celebrity Big Brother, has suggested that the future of the show is in doubt due to the lack of suitably 'qualified' celebrities. It is alleged that because so many celebrities have al...

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'I'm a 70's celebrity, get me out of here!'

Funny story: 'I'm a 70's celebrity, get me out of here!'

Channel Cinco have announced that they are to release a novel reality show which will have a similar concept to the jungle-based 'I'm a celebrity, get me out of here', which is currently broadcast by rival channel, ITV. The Channel Cinco show, wit...

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British Secret Service forced to change name under Trade Descriptions Act

Funny story: British Secret Service forced to change name under Trade Descriptions Act

A copy of a leaked document shockingly suggests that the British Secret Service may soon be forced to change its name under the Trade Descriptions Act. Apparently, the number of secrets held by the department has fallen to an all-time low and a na...

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UK Search and Rescue Team fail to locate Nepal

Funny story: UK Search and Rescue Team fail to locate Nepal

24 hours after their departure, the UK's premier search and rescue organisation, The Hampstead Heath Search and Rescue Sunday Club, have been forced to return home after failing to locate Nepal. Upon learning of the catastrophic earthquake in Nepa...

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Man deemed too fat to wank gets relief from NHS

Funny story: Man deemed too fat to wank gets relief from NHS

Bernard Buttspike, 44, is arguably the UK's fattest man at a gut-busting 71 stone. Bernard, who has never had a job and who is estimated to have received over half a million pounds in benefits over the last 25 years, has long claimed that he is 't...

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Wango.com incur £37.3 million loss as a result of expensive pay day loan.

Funny story: Wango.com incur £37.3 million loss as a result of expensive pay day loan.

Wango.com, the UK's foremost pay-day lender, has posted losses for the current year of £37.3 million. Confirmed reports suggest that this shock result is largely a direct result of the company taking out a pay-day loan itself during the last acco...

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Isle of Wight residents rejoice at opening of Food Bank on island

Funny story: Isle of Wight residents rejoice at opening of Food Bank on island

Residents of Shanklin, on the Isle of Wight, were in high spirits yesterday after receiving the announcement that the town was to be the location of the island's first official Food Bank. 'It's absolutely marvellous', gushed Betty Bigglesthwaite,7...

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Sky customer takes 96 hours and fails to cancel contract

Funny story: Sky customer takes 96 hours and fails to cancel contract

A customer who spent 96 hours online trying to end his contract with Sky TV is now suffering from mental exhaustion. Digbert Dongle, 46, from Ventor on the Isle of Wight logged onto the Sky online chat service, thinking that he would be able to ca...

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Cat activists have their claws out

Funny story: Cat activists have their claws out

The Cat Conservation Club is the UK's leading feline welfare charity and each year helps almost 200,000 cats and kittens through it's national network of over 250 volunteer-run branches. The club have been forced to take legal action to prevent co...

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The meaning of 'Happiness'?

Funny story: The meaning of 'Happiness'?

'Happiness, happiness, the greatest gift that I possess, I thank the Lord that I've been blessed, With more than my share of happiness'. Many will recognise these lyrics as the chorus to the 1964 hit 'Happiness', made famous by the buck-toothed,...

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Thailand sues Isle of Wight twins

Funny story: Thailand sues Isle of Wight twins

Conjoined twins Doris (aged 86) and Betty (aged 86) Peaswhistle were left devastated yesterday when they received a note of formal litigation from the Embassy of Thailand in London. The litigation appears to refer to a book that Doris and Betty ha...

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Miliband and Sturgeon plan partnership ahead of election

Funny story: Miliband and Sturgeon plan partnership ahead of election

A report by the leading market research and opinion polling company UTWAT claimed today that the success of UKIP can be attributed almost entirely to their decision to use an acronym for a name. Chief researcher, Norbert Spangler insisted that the...

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Nicola Sturgeon sells 'Great Seal of Scotland'

Funny story: Nicola Sturgeon sells 'Great Seal of Scotland'

With the General Election only weeks away, it is rumoured that the Scottish First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon, has sold the Great Seal of Scotland in order to boost the SNP election war-chest. Strictly speaking, the Great Seal of Scotland was abolis...

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Simon Cowell's obsession with Cheryl Cole goes too far.

Funny story: Simon Cowell's obsession with Cheryl Cole goes too far.

TV mogul Simon Cowell is reported to be 'devastated' concerning continuing revelations leaked from his unofficial autobiography which is due to be released next month. According to sources, pint-sized, ego-maniac Cowell had no idea as to the conte...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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