(Charleston, Ill.) -- Mayor Kevin Niece recently announced that the local Wal-Mart Supercenter will be converted into a prison.
(Mazon, Ill.) -- The people of Mazon, located in downstate Illinois, failed to realize the irony of a VHS copy of "Twister" stuck in a tree after Sunday's tornados.
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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