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Funny story: Syria Marks Queen's Diamond Jubilee

Syria Marks Queen's Diamond Jubilee

Syrian president Opposition-Basher al-Assad kicked off a huge round of Jubilee celebrations in his country this weekend. He explained: "Like all great dictators I was educated in London, so Britain has a special place in my heart. As an unelected...
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Funny story: Greece Goes into Voluntary Liquidation

Greece Goes into Voluntary Liquidation

Angry tourists gathered in Athens today as it emerged that Greece has ceased trading. The news emerged as German bailiffs closed in to recover unpaid bailout funds. In the words of one, Mr Hans Offenkraut: "When we broke into the country this...
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Funny story: Cameron Pays Tribute to Special Forces Rescue

Cameron Pays Tribute to Special Forces Rescue

Further details emerged today of the dramatic rescue of besieged British minister Jeremy Hunt by Conservative special forces. Mr Hunt, who was ambushed two weeks ago while delivering aid to News International was being held by media factions oppos...
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Funny story: World Snake Population in Decline

World Snake Population in Decline

Snakes are endangered worldwide and may be extinct by 2050, say wildlife experts. But, as zoologist Dr Patrick Sodderly points out, whilst they may be seen as evil poisonous slitherers, snakes are, in fact, a vital part of our world. According to...
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Funny story: The Coalition Opens Parliament Fudge Shop

The Coalition Opens Parliament Fudge Shop

'Cameron and Clegg's Fudge Kitchen' has now opened in Parliament, following the Queen's Speech. It boasts the largest number of fudges in Britain. Co-Proprietor, David Cameron explained how the shop works: "It's an exciting new coalition concept,...
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Funny story: Labour Leadership: Diane Abbott in Next Round

Labour Leadership: Diane Abbott in Next Round

As nominations closed today lefty Diane Abbott made it through to the next round of 'Labour's Got Talent'. Speaking to the media, Barber Shop Quartet: Ed Balls, Andy Burnham, David and Ed Miliband said: "We think it's really important to have a wo...
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Funny story: Israel's New Secret Weapon in Gaza Blockade

Israel's New Secret Weapon in Gaza Blockade

Just one week after its attack on the Gaza flotilla Israel unleashed a controversial new weapon to stop more ships challenging its blockade - Old Spice cologne. Just before 01:00 GMT an Israeli chinook sprayed 40 litres of the stuff over the passa...
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Funny story: Greece to Buy BP Oil

Greece to Buy BP Oil

Greece has today agreed to buy 3/4 of the BP oil slick in a move which will ease the pressure on Louisiana. Greek PM Kostos Toomuchis explained the decision: "Petrol prices have risen so fast that some of our rioters are paying up to 1.6 Euros...
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Funny story: Coalition Faces First Reichstag Question Time

Coalition Faces First Reichstag Question Time

This week Chancellor Adolf Hitler faced his first Fuhrer's Questions as leader of the Coalition with Benito Mussolini's Fascist party. It was formed when the Nazis failed to get an outright majority on the Night of the Long Knives. Both parties had c...
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Funny story: Ken Livingstone Eyes 2012 Comeback

Ken Livingstone Eyes 2012 Comeback

'Red Ken' Livingstone has expressed his intention to make a screen comeback in 2012. But there is cynicism in the film community following the collapse of his movie franchise in 2008. One critic said bluntly: "Ken's now over 60, he just can't...
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Funny story: Derrick Bird Killings "Weren't Random" Say Police

Derrick Bird Killings "Weren't Random" Say Police

Police today confirmed that Cumbria gun killer Derrick Bird in fact selected his victims "with care". Bird, who is said to be resting this weekend after a draining day on Wednesday, apparently sent out a questionnaire to prospective victims the week...
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Funny story: World Cup Team Prepares but England Star Axed from Squad

World Cup Team Prepares but England Star Axed from Squad

Up and coming star David Laws is to be left out the England 2010 team. That was the news which stunned fans this week as the boys prepared for their first deficit-reduction match against Greece over the rest of this year. Laws had been widely expe...
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Funny story: New Eastern Med Cruise Craze

New Eastern Med Cruise Craze

A new Turkish cruise line, Flotilla Cruises, believes it has hit upon the ideal holiday for credit-crunched holidaymakers and it seems to be making quite a splash. The line's MD, Mr Fud Ayd told us the secret behind the success: "Our boats...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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