Fooball bosses admitted today that "terrible mistakes" had been made when announcing England's final 23 players for the World Cup Finals.
Bosses blamed Fabio Capello's inability to communicate effectively in English for the fact that Boris Johnson...
The financial woes of Sarah Ferguson may be over after she signed up yesterday to appear in a new science-fiction blockbuster.
Fergie will take a leading role in Star Wars VII - the Return of the Syphillis.
She has been offered £500,000 to pla...
The family of South African 800m runner Caster Semenya have reacted angrily to reports that women athletes may refuse to race against her.
Some of the world's top women athletes could boycott the sport if Semenya is allowed to return to competitio...
London based rapper Sir Alan Sugarbabe is releasing an album of Cockney Classics.
The eagerly-awaited new album, which is entitled: "Roll Out The Barrowboys" also features former Spurs and England football manager Hairy Tennisballs performing the...
In a surprise move, the Labour Party today unveiled Lord Heehaw as its new leader.
According to political commentators, this is the first time for at least two hours that the Labour Party has been headed by an ass.
Lord Heehaw, who stood in the...
Coronation Street legend Jack Duckworth was reported to be "heartbroken" last night after one of his pigeons died in a freak accident.
The bird came to grief after becoming caught up in a tangled storyline.
Granada TV confirmed this morning tha...
The latest General Election poll has predicted a landslide victory for the Monster Raving Rooney Party.
Party leader Wayne Rooney is set to be elected Prime Minister according to a Giddy-up poll published today.
"The Americans gave us George W.
A nationwide police hunt has been launched for Jedward after reports that the pop superstars have disappeared off the face of the earth.
An ashen-faced Simon Cowell emerged from his luxury holiday home in Cleethorpes to issue a heartfelt plea to J...
Bubbles the chimp has been admitted to hospital suffering from a sore arse.
The pampered primate had recently been adopted by Graham Norton after the tragic death of his brother, Michael.
Doctors at the Royal Marzipan Hospital are desperately s...
England cricket selectors have today shocked the sporting world by announcing the inclusion of an English-born player in the squad to play in the forthoming Test series against Spain.
Winston Ambrose (42) will become the first English player to re...
Simon Cowell has sold the exclusive rights to his wedding to world-class reporter, Donnie Dogmeat.
The "Britain Agrees I've Got No Talent" judge will marry childhood sweetheat Pete Waterman in a lavish ceremony at The O2 Arena in June.
In a shock move, it was announced today that England boss Fabio Capello had been fired.
The decision was made after bosses were told that Capello had been exposed by this undercover intrepid reporter as a foreigner.
Bertie Piledriver, Chairman...
Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott today announced that he is to retire from politics to forge a new career as a celebrity chef.
Prescott told a hushed and empty House of Commons:
"Ever since I bought a burger van three weeks ago, I have dream...
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