A spokesman for Britain's leading bakery chain admitted that pigmeat was used in millions of hot cross buns on sale this weekend. Most of the major supermarkets have this product on their shelves, discounted at one pound per bun.
The chief Rabbi i...
From the first of April all appeal court judges will be forced to undergo compulsory brain scans to see if they really are partially brain dead. The scans are to be carried out in private clinics because the government lacks confidence in the NHS to...
The government is seriously cosidering the deportation of more than five million Britons of both Viking and Anglo Saxon Origin.
"We need to make room for the next influx of honest hard working eastern europeans," said the prime minister at last ni...
Cammy and his mate Cleggy are to rush through emergency legislation to lower the age of consent for sex with small boys, after the PM was ambushed on TV by a concerned presenter. Speculation is for the age to be lowered to eight, which should serve t...
David Cameron is the leading contender for this years Robert Muggabe Mud Hut award. The prestigious award has previously been given to Butcher Blair, George W Bush, Gordon (one eye) Brown to name but a few.
Each winner is given his own personal hu...
The embarassing boyish bum fluff in finally beginning to disappear from that delicate soft skinned chin to be replaced by a more darker stiffer growth of hair. He's secretly hoping this welcome change will make him appear more manly, like his former...
Yet another great scoop from our intrepid weeki leeks reporter. The Chinese government is in secret negotiations with the Vatican this week and the main item on the agenda is the beatification of that idiot Chairman Mao.
The Vatican is almost brok...
Cabinet minister Theresa May has been pleading poverty again and is using it as an excuse to sell her severely soiled knickers on the internet using the slogan, Theresa's Teasers.
In justification for her latest moneymaking venture she complains...
It's official. Foreign Secretary William Hague has been reclassified as a giant dwarf by the British Medical Association. The chairman of the association Dr Hermann Clitterman made the announcement last night down at the pub.
Hagues's head is quit...
We are all very sad to hear that Deputy Prime Minister Clegg's piles are bleeding again. We heard it on the grapevine, please pardon the pun. The problem, which began during his public school days, has returned with a vengeance.
The painful expres...
Many high street store executives are breathing a sigh of relief as charity shops continue to price themselves out of the market.
Shoppers are starting to change their habits because they simply can't afford to pay exorbitant prices in the charit...
Direct from our weeki leeks royal correspondent comes the startling news of the virgin prince's shocking surprise when he dropped his hand on common Kate for the first time after the wedding and came up with a fistful of raw meat.
The truth is she...
Arab league members were truly amazed and dismayed when William Hague attended a charity masquerade ball last night dressed as a crusader knight.
Ably supported by the lovely Ffion he staggered in red faced under the weight of the costume and spe...
As air-miles Andy (Prinny to his intimate friends) makes yet another bad judgement call, his father admits the boy is just one great big mistake.
Our weeki leeks palace mole heard his ancient pater comment that he wished he'd jumped off at Newbig...
Cameron is rather worried about his sacred cow...foreign aid. He feels concerned that if any more African dictators are deposed there will be nobody left to receive the huge annual amount of aid because at present most of them maintain several palace...
The Chinese communist government is panic stricken about the recent developments in Egypt where they financed the pro Mubarak thugs in a vain attempt to influence the outcome of the uprising against the dictatorship.
Peking fear they be next in li...
A north east business man has a brilliant idea how beat the burgeoning cost of funerals. What Nicholas Cadaver jr is proposing is not a new idea, quite the contrary having been used by the seafaring community for many millenia...You have guessed it,...
James May is refusing to wash or have his hair cut for fear of disturbing a pair of rare green Vietnamese three toed beetles nesting therein. Presumably caught during his last visit to the country, for reasons he refuses to discuss.
The presenter...