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Funny story: Londoner Ham Id El-Weedi identified as notorious 'Jihadi John'

Londoner Ham Id El-Weedi identified as notorious 'Jihadi John'

London - Accomplished London Borough of Tooting crack dealer Ham Id El-Weedi has been identified as serial beheader Jihadi John. Described by notorious gangland mobsters the Kray Twins as 'mild mannered and kittenish' in comparison to Mrs Thatcher...
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Funny story: President has unusual tastin' semen

President has unusual tastin' semen

Washington AC/DC - All hell broke loose in the White House this morning after someone ejaculated over Barack Obama's cupcake turning the candy sprinkles green. Secret service detectives immediately quarantined the foaming confection in case Pluto...
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Funny story: Mystery banker found near university campus baffles cops

Mystery banker found near university campus baffles cops

Toronto, Canada - A mysterious banker has been found by police close to a York University campus underground tunnel. Police say they are baffled. Early reports suggest he was discovered in a secluded wooded area by a conservation officer who sa...
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Funny story: Magnet-fishing kids find huge IRA arms haul

Magnet-fishing kids find huge IRA arms haul

Somerset Levels, UK - A massive arsenal of IRA weapons including AK-47s, MI6 assault rifles and a Sherman tank has been found by teenagers at the bottom of a British river bed. 13 year-olds Bob Piranna and Warren Nuckles were magnet-fishing on th...
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Funny story: 'Potella' jar sparks lethal blaze that destroys family home

'Potella' jar sparks lethal blaze that destroys family home

Colorado Springs, USA - An empty jar of the yummy cannabis, chocolate and pistachio nut paste 'Potella' is suspected of being behind the total destruction of a family home. Forensic investigators say the six bedroom property and a family dog were...
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Funny story: British army chiefs announce new Hide 'N' Sikh regiment ops

British army chiefs announce new Hide 'N' Sikh regiment ops

London - The British Chief of the General Stuff said today the new elite fighting corps(e) will be deployed 'as bait' on stealth missions in the upcoming Game of Sardines against Jihadi scum. Troops disguised in Ali Baba costumes will root around...
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Funny story: Three Oscar-winning cinematographers reveal their favorite shots

Three Oscar-winning cinematographers reveal their favorite shots

Los Angeles - "Favorite shot would be the Measles/Mumps/Rubella triple," Emmanuel Lubezki, maker of Gravity, said this weekend, "sure saved my ass during the last pandemic as well as my kids'. Tetanus booster comes a close second of course." The...
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Funny story: Runaway 'Jihadi' brides switch planes, end up in LA for the Oscars, finger Scamatology website that 'groomed' them

Runaway 'Jihadi' brides switch planes, end up in LA for the Oscars, finger Scamatology website that 'groomed' them

Los Angeles - An LAX press conference heard this evening how three runaway schoolgirls blamed a US-based Scamatology recruitment website for grooming them to run away from home as Jihadi matrimonial bait. Homeland Insecurity officials said Fatima,...
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Funny story: Business booming at Rodeo Drive thrift store ahead of Oscars Night

Business booming at Rodeo Drive thrift store ahead of Oscars Night

Beverly Hills, Ca - A Rodeo Drive dress recycling shop is staying open round the clock this weekend catering to Sunday's Oscars Fright crowd. Haute couture numbers in latex and taffeta are flying off the rails as cash-strapped Hollywood Z-Listers...
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Funny story: Brit spooks in 'Point Break' presidential masks give evidence at Abid Naseer trial

Brit spooks in 'Point Break' presidential masks give evidence at Abid Naseer trial

New York - Looking a lot like Patrick Swayze in his Point Blank Ronald Reagan mask, tux and add-on AK47 a British MI5 officer has testified at the NYC trial of suspected terrorist Abid Naseer. His colleague from Cryptography went slightly off-pist...
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Funny story: Obama and Kanye 'one hell of a father-son double act' says NYC DNA test

Obama and Kanye 'one hell of a father-son double act' says NYC DNA test

New York - Barack Obama has been outed as Kanye West's birth father in a DNA test published today. Findings from New York's Seedy Sign Eye Mammorial Hospital's paternity division reveal Kanye's actual father is the President. And the rapper's...
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Funny story: Russian submarine spotted off the Duchess of Cornwall

Russian submarine spotted off the Duchess of Cornwall

International Waters, The Lizard - A rogue submatine thought to be under the command of Captain Marko Ramius has been sighted off Camilla's private quarters a royal protection racket source said today. The Red Oktober, a Yeltsin-class submersible...
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Funny story: Long lost paternity papers reveal Dallas actress Victoria Principal's meteoric rise to stardom

Long lost paternity papers reveal Dallas actress Victoria Principal's meteoric rise to stardom

Los Angeles - Decades of suspected hush-hush Hollywood string-pulling have been exposed in a new book exploring Victoria Principal's awesome acting talents. Including studio machinations that secured her the plum role of Pammy. Biographer Arlen...
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Funny story: California weasels outbreak linked to the Philippines

California weasels outbreak linked to the Philippines

Los Angeles - Thousands of people have been left sickened following an outbreak of weasels at a Disneyland resort. Doctors treating the ugly pandemic say a virus strain from the Philippines is a damn good scapegoat considering the dearth of other...
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Funny story: Get Your Slippery Tongue Out Of Mrs Carter's Ear, Mr Vice President

Get Your Slippery Tongue Out Of Mrs Carter's Ear, Mr Vice President

Washington AC/DC - Vice President Joe 'The Anteater' Biden was unwittingly the star performer at the swearing in of Obama's latest Sitting-On-Da-Fence Secretary of Snakes today. Ashton Carter looked oblivious during his podium acceptance speech s...
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Funny story: Pancake Day jibe for silly Amal Clooney

Pancake Day jibe for silly Amal Clooney

The Hague, Netherlands - Human frights lawyer Amal Clooney has been cut down to size by Stonkerz magazine after being dubbed 'Princess Pancake' on account of her flat 30A-cup tits. The Pancake Day award comes with a year's supply of brassiere cup...
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Funny story: Hellfire Bank says sorry for ratting on pervs' secret accounts

Hellfire Bank says sorry for ratting on pervs' secret accounts

Gnomes of Zurich, Shitzerland - The CEO of fucked-up Hellfire Bank Zurich has groveled in pubic about grassing up dodgy clients' secret bank accounts. Lord Hellfire of Mammon issued a heartfelt - ok, ok, a wallet-felt! - apology to 100,000 Z-Liste...
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Funny story: Actress Helen Mirren banned from Palace after 'aliens' jibe

Actress Helen Mirren banned from Palace after 'aliens' jibe

Los Angeles - Official: all traces of Martian DNA have been expunged from the royal genome after film star Helen Mirren blew the gaff on Queen Elizardbirth's alien origins. Mirren, who famously played Queenie in an instantly forgettable Hollywood...
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Showing page 1 (of 389 pages)
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