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Japan Accidentally Evacuated After Nuke Tech Misreads LCD

Funny story: Japan Accidentally Evacuated After Nuke Tech Misreads LCD

Japan was temporarily evacuated yesterday afternon after experts working at the stricken Fukushima Die Itchy power plant accidentally reported that radiation levels outside the plant were 10 million times higher than government safety levels. Air...

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Doomsday Postponed Again

Funny story: Doomsday Postponed Again

Doomsday, currently set for 21 May 2011, is going to be postponed because heaven and hell are not big enough for the world's population, a report states. The World Society of People who Know Stuff That Others Do Not (WSOPWKSTODT) reports that whil...

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Fit wealthy people to face certain death

Funny story: Fit wealthy people to face certain death

New research has revealed that people who undertake fitness routines and who observe careful diets are at least as likely to die as people who smoke, are obese, or both. This is especially true if they are also loaded. James Ward, professor of uns...

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HMS Ark Royal En Route To South Atlantic

Funny story: HMS Ark Royal En Route To South Atlantic

Britain has sold the HMS Ark Royal to an Argentinan military historian, along with the Harrier fleet. The spending review means cuts in all areas of public expenditure, including the Armed Forces. Two carriers are being built, and the government h...

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Age Defying Cream Flop

Funny story: Age Defying Cream Flop

Global chemical giant Splurge Inc has withdrawn its QN7 age defying cream from sale in western countries. QN7 first went on sale in 2004 and was said to be the world's first cream that actually made people younger. Hollywood stars were the first t...

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Dog Found In Yoghurt Pot

Funny story: Dog Found In Yoghurt Pot

A food production company was ordered to pay nearly £10,000 after a man found a dog in a yoghurt pot as he ate his lunch. Oscar Waggitt of Stinkborough, South Yorkshire had already eaten some of the yoghurt when he came across the canine filling.

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Facebook Geek Saves World From Disaster

Funny story: Facebook Geek Saves World From Disaster

Silicon Valley USA: Facebook went off line for 20 minutes last night, causing the asteroid Armageddon13 to change course for earth. Military scientists have known Armageddon 13 to pose a serious threat to earth for 17 years. Facebook was conceive...

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"Legalize Crime" - Top Doc

Funny story: "Legalize Crime" - Top Doc

Former head of NASTY, the National Association for Spread of Tyrannical Youths, Dr Gary Killmore, says crime should now be legalized. In an e-mail sent from his cell in Frankland Prison, Dr Killmore said: "Decriminalising crime could drastica...

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Bo Diddley Not To Head BP

Funny story: Bo Diddley Not To Head BP

Relatives of deceased Blues Guitarist Bo Diddley were amazed to receive a letter offering him the job of CEO of BP. Bo Diddley, who died in 2008, was a rock and roll vocalist, guitarist, songwriter, and inventor. His mother, 110 year old Mo Diddle...

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Website Fire Causes Widespread Damage

Funny story: Website Fire Causes Widespread Damage

Police are looking for the proprietor of flammablesubstances.web after the website caught fire last Tuesday, damaging hundreds of computer monitors around the world. The website is registered to a company in Peckham that sells various flammable ma...

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Burka Ban Is Just The Start - Sarkozy

Funny story: Burka Ban Is Just The Start - Sarkozy

President Nicolas "Au Naturelle" Sarkozy has won the first step in a year-long plan to make clothes illegal for women. On a day of confusion in France's lower house of parliament, members overwhelmingly approved a bill that would ban wearing the I...

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News Backlog Frustrates Newshogs

The blanket 24 hour coverage of the hunt for Raoul Moat has blocked coverage of other stories. Consequently, some newsworthy incidents have had to be postponed. The top five stories waiting to break this week include: - Prime Minister Marries L...

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Psychic Octopus In Hunt For Moat

In the last week, Northumbria police have called on criminal psychologists and survival experts to help them locate suspected killer Raoul Moat, without success. But then, octopus keeper Hans Acht, at the german Sea Life centre put an ordnance su...

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Biffa Bacon's Fatha Arrested

Funny story: Biffa Bacon's Fatha Arrested

The Police have arrested and then released hundreds of Geordie "hard men", including Biffa Bacon's Fatha, in the hunt for Ronald Stoat. Police looking for Stoat faced an almost impossible task because he looks exactly like hundreds of other Geordi...

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Police Close Off Northern England "Mad Zone"

Funny story: Police Close Off Northern England "Mad Zone"

Access to Northern England has been cut today while police wait for all the mad people to calm down Only last week, the Council for Northern England announced last week that Cumbria and Northumbria are Britain's favourite locations for going insa...

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Spoof Reporter Jailed

Funny story: Spoof Reporter Jailed

Famously under-rated spoof reporter the Medium Cheese has been jailed for 7 years following a complaint from a member of the public about an article. For legal reasons, we cannot publish the identity of the complainant, nor the report, nor the in...

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UFO Mistaken For Cloud

Funny story: UFO Mistaken For Cloud

In an embarrassing statement to a parliamentary sub committee this afternoon, RAF chief Sir Rostron Riddle-Me-Ree told ministers that last week, aliens probably had been hovering over London for half an hour, in giant spacecraft shaped like a cloud,...

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Apple's iBalls Set To Replace IVF

Funny story: Apple's iBalls Set To Replace IVF

Apple has announced its next must-have personal accessory, the iBalls. Marketed mainly at men, the iBalls will let users determine the gender, looks and intelligence of their children. Combining a mobile version of The Sims game, and genetic in...

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Breaking news…

Philadelphia Eagles Only Need 2-Passenger Corvette For Official White House Visit After Winning Super Bowl Team

The delegation was the team coach who lost the coin toss and the team driver. The rest boycotted.
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