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Funny story: Missouri Cows Infect Two Iowa Bulls with a STD

Missouri Cows Infect Two Iowa Bulls with a STD

Des Moines, Iowa -- Two Iowa bulls have been diagnosed with a venereal disease after a wild night of partying across the state line in Missouri. Iowa agricultural officials have placed the two hapless bulls under quarantine after they tested posit...
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Funny story: University to Show Porn Film

University to Show Porn Film

It was announced today by University officials that this year they will allow the showing of the porn movie "Disco Dolls in Hot Skin." "Disco Dolls in Hot Skin" is a kitshy 1977 porn film in 3-D that has a huge following in art house cinemas acros...
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Funny story: Minnesota Woman Tries to Mail Puppy to Georgia

Minnesota Woman Tries to Mail Puppy to Georgia

Just when you think the human race can't get any more stupid and you can't bear to read one more account of animal cruelty, a story like this emerges. A 39-year old resident of Minneapolis, Stacey Braindead, placed a puppy inside a box and took it...
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Funny story: Judges Gone ... Will Same-Sex Marriage Be Next in Iowa?

Judges Gone ... Will Same-Sex Marriage Be Next in Iowa?

Des Moines, Iowa -- In a history-making decision, nearly fifty-five percent of Iowa voters who went to the polls on November 2 voted to remove three Supreme Court justices who ruled with the majority to legalize same-sex marriage in Iowa. The camp...
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Funny story: Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite: Eastern Iowa Infested

Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite: Eastern Iowa Infested

THEY'RE BAA-AAACK!! "Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite" has taken on a whole new meaning as Eastern Iowa residents are sleeping with one eye open these nights. As if the beleagured residents haven't had enough problems with f...
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Funny story: National Egg Council Blames Consumers

National Egg Council Blames Consumers

Area 52, Arizona -- The National Egg Council announced today that it is the fault of the consumer that they have become ill from eating salmonella contaminated eggs. "Consumers are not cooking eggs properly. Directions clearly state that all eggs s...
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Funny story: Let the Caterwauling Begin: Arizona Enacts Cat Leash Law

Let the Caterwauling Begin: Arizona Enacts Cat Leash Law

Area 52, AZ -- Not content with arresting residents for driving while Mexican, the State of Arizona announced recently that it had enacted a cat leash law requiring all cats to be kept on a very short leash. "For too long cats have been allowed to...
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Funny story: SuBo Fanatic Contracts White-Nose Syndrome

SuBo Fanatic Contracts White-Nose Syndrome

It was announced today by the Illinois Department of Natural Resources that all bat caves at the Apple River Canyon State Park in northeastern Jo Daviess County will be closed to public access until further notice due to the outbreak of a bat disease...
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Funny story: As the World Spins: The Boyle Family Saga, Episode 1: The Boyle Family Implodes or O Brothers, Shut the F*** Up

As the World Spins: The Boyle Family Saga, Episode 1: The Boyle Family Implodes or O Brothers, Shut the F*** Up

The producers of the soap opera "As the World Spins: The Boyle Family Saga" announced today that filming of Episode One is to begin shortly. "Episode One, which will be called 'The Boyle Family Implodes or O Brothers, Shut the F*** Up,' will focus...
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Funny story: Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, The Red Cult Is The Fairest Of Them All

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, The Red Cult Is The Fairest Of Them All

Leaders of The Red Cult announced a new rule today which all members must follow or be banished from membership. This latest edict can be found in Volume 212, Chapter 17, page 1,704, Subsection 186, Paragraph 368a of the cult by-laws which are house...
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Funny story: SuBo Fanatics Decide on Housewarming Gift

SuBo Fanatics Decide on Housewarming Gift

After weeks of debate and internal wrangling, members of The Red Cult have finally decided upon a housewarming gift for Susan: a lovely pink and red striped daylily variety called 'Wild Haggis', named after the animal indigenous to Scotland. This...
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Funny story: As the World Spins: The Boyle Family Saga

As the World Spins: The Boyle Family Saga

London -- The producers of Masterpiece Theatre Classic announced plans today to produce a new series entitled 'As the World Spins: The Boyle Family Saga.' "We have never done this genre of drama before, but we feel a story ripped from today's he...
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Funny story: SuBo Fanatics To Hold Wild Haggis Hunt

SuBo Fanatics To Hold Wild Haggis Hunt

Contrary to popular belief, the Wild Haggis (Haggis scoticus) is neither a mythical creature nor extinct. Although nearly hunted to the verge of extinction, a colony of this shy and reclusive creature has retreated to the banks of the River Almond a...
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Funny story: SuBo Museum Holds Grand Opening

SuBo Museum Holds Grand Opening

Thousands of Susan Boyle fans from all over the world have arrived in Area 52 for the Grand Opening Ceremony of the Museum-For-All-Things-Susan (M.F.A.T.S.). "These ladies are unfreakingbelievable," said one area resident. "They absolutely refu...
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Funny story: Le Retard the Humourless Declared a Saint

Le Retard the Humourless Declared a Saint

Appalled by recent events in London when an individual known as LeRetard was ordered beheaded by a special session of the Council of the Star Chamber held by Team Purple, a press release was issued today by a spokesperson representing The Red Cult, a...
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Funny story: Le Retard Brought Before Star Chamber

Le Retard Brought Before Star Chamber

Area 52, AZ - Thought to have been abolished in 1641 by the Long Parliment, rumors have reached us that the Council of the Star Chamber has been revived in modern times. This ace reporter was sent to London recently to investigate. Star Chamber...
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Funny story: Life has Killed the Dream: SuBo Kept in Drugged State

Life has Killed the Dream: SuBo Kept in Drugged State

It is with considerable sadness that we must report that we have learned the world renowned singer Susan Boyle is being kept in a drugged-out, robotic state. Doctors have been called in repeatedly to administer a mind-numbing cocktail of mood alteri...
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Funny story: SuBo has Museum Built in her Honour

SuBo has Museum Built in her Honour

The Arizona Times Picayune has received numerous inquiries from residents of Area 52 concerning a construction project taking place there. Our ace investigative reporter was sent to the site. We have now learned that a Retired-Gentleman-in-Arizon...
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Breaking News...

Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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