In a hastily called press conference held this morning President Obama came out of the closet and admitted that he's Republican.
"I can't fight it anymore. I've been covering up who I really am my whole political life," the President said.
Th...
The American press is loudly calling for the release of jailed free speech activist and Nobel Peace Prize Winner Liu Xiaobo while at the same time calling for the jailing of Wikileaks founder and free speech activist Julian Assange.
Xiaobo and As...
Wikileaks release of countless documents that detail the corrupt and shadowy dealings of the U.S. government worldwide have caused the American media to go into full lapdog mode in defense of government secrecy. In editorials, blogs and TV shows the...
Wikileaks today publicly dumped several trillion conversations held between billions of individuals, most of which were assumed to be private. The conversations reveal deep personal feelings of hatred, animosity, vindictiveness, pettiness and other b...
Canadian pop sensation Justin Bieber, white trash exotic dancer-in-training Miley Cyrus and serial dater Taylor Swift swept the American Mediocrity Awards last night. The singers in the last year have taken over $1 billion from the parents of shrieki...
Dick Cheney appeared publicly for the first time today at the dedication of the George W. Bush Presidential Library in Houston, TX.
The former vice president, looking frail, tired and sickly, gave renewed hope to billions of human beings that his...
The Department of Commerce and Department of Labor jointly reported today that while the U.S. may no longer be the world's preeminent industrial superpower it still continues to outpace the world in its number of gay-ass bakeries. The number of gay-a...
Washington, D.C.--Democratic and Republican politicians continue their rejoicing today at the results of the November 2 election. The newly divided congress has elected members of both parties breathing easier at the prospect of two full years of get...
Undeterred by setbacks in its challenge to the legality of President Barack Obama's presidency, the Birther Movement has widened its scope by challenging the legality of eight other U.S. presidencies. The Birther movement, so-called because it insist...
Redmond, WA--Today Microsoft Corporation announced the launch of it's electronic tablet device the xPad. Replete with all the features and functionality that has made Microsoft a synonym for "inferior" the xPad is intended to compete with Apple's wil...
A new book being published this week says that the RMS Titanic, the largest ocean liner of its era, was sunk not by an iceberg but by a controlled demolition. The book, "Titanic Cover-Up: The Century Long Cover-up of The Twentieth Century's Greatest...
In an attempt to stabilize and improve the security situation in Afghanistan the United States government announced today a second "surge," this one consisting of buzzwords and catchphrases. The cliches, many coming directly from deployment in Iraq,...
The inhabitants of the United States are using noise at a rate out of all proportion to their numbers. While Americans make up only about 5% of the world's population they are using over 30% of the noise each year. Lawnmowers, leaf blowers, weed whac...
George W. Bush has almost finished drawing his autobiography, says Bush's publisher Marvel Comics. The comic book producer landed the coveted book contract with the former president shortly after he left office in January, 2009. Marvel said Bush chos...
A team of top researchers from every field of human interaction have concluded that women just don't like you. Their year long study, commissioned by you, observed every interaction you've had with single eligible women and found that consistently an...
Tony Blair has revealed in his recently published autobiography, "Tony Blair, A Journey," that years after they both left office he is still George W. Bush's poodle. In his book Blair vigorously defends George W. Bush, Bush's actions and Blair's own...
Country music darling Taylor Swift plans to repeat all four years of high school in an attempt to find inspiration for her upcoming album. The gorgeous Grammy winner said singing about the harsh realities of the teenage years has been a winning formu...
The 101st Keyboard Division, a group of pundits, bloggers and journalists who promoted and supported the Iraq war, will remain on alert despite the end of combat operations in Iraq. The division includes such luminaries as small circulation magazine...