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Chris Evans to present nothing

Funny story: Chris Evans to present nothing

After his shock departure from Top Gear, Chris Evans has announced he will now present nothing. 'It's crazy' said Evans 'but I have come up with this unique concept that means I won't be doing anything.' 'No one will see or hear me ever again.

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Adele to release mini album called '69'

Funny story: Adele to release mini album called '69'

She's written songs about the word 'hello' and pavements but now London's most successful singer named Adele is set to release a controversial mini album entitled '69'. Details of the album's exact content are still a mystery but a number of propo...

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Christ on a bike to compete for Team GB at the Olympics

Funny story: Christ on a bike to compete for Team GB at the Olympics

Legendary prophet and son of God, Jesus Christ is the latest in the line of 'Plastic Brits' to sign up for Team GB at the 2012 London Olympics. The Messiah has shown an interest in several sports in his time spent in the afterlife and has recently...

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Queen to celebrate Diamond Jubilee by getting smashed

Funny story: Queen to celebrate Diamond Jubilee by getting smashed

Queen Elizabeth II is to celebrate her 60 years on the throne by going on the mother of all benders with other members of the Royal family. She is hoping to start the day by getting twatted on champagne in the Bonapartes pub on Buckingham Palace R...

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Mario Balotelli is not my son says Roberto Mancini

Funny story: Mario Balotelli is not my son says Roberto Mancini

Beleaguered Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini has admitted that contrary to popular belief, wayward striker Mario Baletolli is not his son. 'I do not know who started this rumour' said Mancini 'but I can confirm that although I know his mother...

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Manager says he did hear Terry call Ferdinand a 'black c##t'

Funny story: Manager says he did hear Terry call Ferdinand a 'black c##t'

The manager of the London Wetlands Centre admitted today that he overheard Terry the bird feeder call Ferdinand the Eurasion Coot a 'black c##t'. 'I was shocked' said Mr Warnock who has managed the bird sanctuary in West London for 2 years. 'I can...

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Nostradamus predicted the end of the News of the World

Funny story: Nostradamus predicted the end of the News of the World

He hasn't yet correctly predicted the end of the world, but Nostradamus did manage to predict the end of Britain's biggest selling tabloid, the News of the World. This is the shock news revealed today by Britain's leading psychic and astrologer Ru...

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Jubilee Line to be filled with shit

Funny story: Jubilee Line to be filled with shit

The Mayor of London Boris Johnson has today announced that the Jubilee Line will be closed for good and filled with billions of tonnes of excrement. After months of suffering for commuters who have had to put up with such excuses as broken down tr...

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Impressionist cat is the favourite to win Britain's Got Talent

Funny story: Impressionist cat is the favourite to win Britain's Got Talent

A 5 year old cat from Wembley is the favourite to win Britain's Got Talent after performing a stand up routine featuring several hilarious impressions. 'He's fantastic' squealed new judge Michael Mcintyre. 'The moment he walked on stage I just cou...

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University to offer students a degree in Spoofs

Funny story: University to offer students a degree in Spoofs

A top university is giving its students the opportunity to learn how to write satirical stories in an effort to improve the quality of spoof writing on the internet. In a recent online survey by the comedy spoofing website, the BBC, over 75% of t...

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University Challenge's Clemo to marry Katie Price

Funny story: University Challenge's Clemo to marry Katie Price

Andrew 'Clemo' Clemo, the captain of the defeated York team in the University Challenge final, emerged from the BBC studios with a cheeky grin on his face and his own personal trophy. Not the impressive glass ornament that was being clutched by Ma...

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Michael Jackson stuffed and mounted outside an English football ground

Funny story: Michael Jackson stuffed and mounted outside an English football ground

Pop legend Michael Jackson has made an unexpected appearance in London, England almost 2 years after his untimely death. The singer who had hits such as Thriller and Ebony and Ivory featuring Sir Paul McCartney, was unveiled in front of Fulham FC'...

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Wayne Rooney in Four Word Outburst

Funny story: Wayne Rooney in Four Word Outburst

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney stunned millions of television viewers by revealing he now has a vocabulary of four words. After completing his hat-trick in the 4-2 win over West Ham United at Upton Park, Rooney shouted the words 'Fucking w...

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Charlie Sheen to star in Two Hookers and a Half Cut Man

Funny story: Charlie Sheen to star in Two Hookers and a Half Cut Man

Hollywood legend Charlie Sheen is set to star in a new comedy series after Two and a Half Men was dramatically cancelled. The provisionally titled 'Two Hookers and a Half Cut Man' will follow the day to day adventures of a middle aged drunk and hi...

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Lazy, feckless, flatulent man outraged at Top Gear for being compared to Mexicans

Funny story: Lazy, feckless, flatulent man outraged at Top Gear for being compared to Mexicans

The BBC has been inundated by hundreds of complaints from an irate lazy, feckless, flatulent man after Top Gear presenter Richard 'Hamster' Hammond compared him to Mexicans. Gary Coogan, a 36 year old unemployed man from Croydon has demanded an ap...

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Scousers steal Andy Carroll's ponytail

Funny story: Scousers steal Andy Carroll's ponytail

Britain's most expensive Geordie, Andy Carroll has had his trademark ponytail stolen on his first day in Liverpool. The 23 year old from Byker Grove in Newcastle was surrounded by a gang of curly haired, moustached, shell suit wearing stereotypes...

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There's no brown Hobbit in the Lord of the Rings la, la, la, la-la

Funny story: There's no brown Hobbit in the Lord of the Rings la, la, la, la-la

Small people with brown skin were up in arms today as they were told they are not welcome in Middle Earth. Chief Hobbit Bilbo Baggins broke the news at a press conference in New Zealand where hundreds of hopefuls auditioned to spend time in the Sh...

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Stacey Solomon in I'm a Celebrity hardcore vermilingua orgy

Funny story: Stacey Solomon in I'm a Celebrity hardcore vermilingua orgy

I'm a Celebrity's Stacey Solomon has spent much of her spare time partaking in an orgy of vermilingua according to resident shit meddler Gillian McKeith. 'I've been analysing Stacey's turds' said the 65 year old Scot 'and the weird thing is that t...

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Breaking news…

New Bill Would Give Guns Citizenship

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX-R) introduced a bill {BLAKA} that would give guns US citizenship, along with the right to vote and own weapons. Asked about how they felt about this bill a gun said "bang bang click"
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