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Funny story: Obama Announces 100 Million Green Jobs Created Or Saved

Obama Announces 100 Million Green Jobs Created Or Saved

"WE HAVE CREATED OR SAVED over 100 Million jobs," announced President Obama today, "and this is the really good part: they're all 'green jobs'." This announcement follows last weeks' new Securities and Exchange Commission rule that all U.S. Corporat...
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Funny story: Tour Settles With Elin Woods, Prepares Way For Tiger Woods Return

Tour Settles With Elin Woods, Prepares Way For Tiger Woods Return

GOLF OBSERVERS SAY that "as Tiger Woods goes, so goes the tour." And since Tiger left the tour to deal with personal and marital problems, the tour has suffered from decreased revenues, decreased TV viewership and a general lack of interest. So tod...
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Funny story: Obama Furious With Pelosi Over Jobs Lost Letter

Obama Furious With Pelosi Over Jobs Lost Letter

"TELL THAT SHRILL, plastic surgeon's malpractice, four burned out bulbs short of a chandelier, skin covered skeleton in a pant suit that she should bite down on some crust with her pie hole before she criticizes me!" Unconfirmed reports from the...
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Funny story: CBS Refused To Run Al Qaeda Super Bowl Ad Showing Osama Bin Laden

CBS Refused To Run Al Qaeda Super Bowl Ad Showing Osama Bin Laden

CBS DECIDED TO RUN a Focus On The Family advocacy ad about "Tim Teebow" during its Super Bowl broadcast but refused to run other ads that were not deemed "appropriate" for its audience. This has Al Qaeda fuming and threatening First Amendment le...
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Funny story: Global Warming Scientists To Move From Washington To Warmer Climate

Global Warming Scientists To Move From Washington To Warmer Climate

BLIZZARDS, POWER FAILURES AND EXTENDED COLD TEMPERATURES have apparently prompted Global Warming experts in Washington D.C. to announce the relocation of their offices to Florida. "This weather is ridiculous," said Dick Allshank, Chief Scientific Sp...
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Funny story: Low Tech Repair For Millions Of Recalled Toyotas

Low Tech Repair For Millions Of Recalled Toyotas

IN A NOVEL MOVE to speed repairs and restore consumer confidence, engineers have designed a low tech fix for the high tech problems in Toyota's electronic acceleration and braking systems that have plagued over 8 million of its vehicles. "We call...
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Funny story: Nike To Pay Tiger Woods "Anything Elin Wants": Deal Will Allow Tiger To Play The Accenture Match Play Championship

Nike To Pay Tiger Woods "Anything Elin Wants": Deal Will Allow Tiger To Play The Accenture Match Play Championship

A SPOKESMAN for a major golf and apparel manufacturer confirmed today that it will "indemnify" and "pay" Tiger Woods for any payments necessary to satisfy Elin Woods, "if only Tiger will get back on the tour." Rumors are circulating that Tiger could...
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Funny story: EPA Modifies Beer Ban Following Public Outcry

EPA Modifies Beer Ban Following Public Outcry

THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY (EPA) said today that it will modify its complete ban on beer that was formally proposed on Monday. The EPA now says that beer will only be banned at "outdoor events, where deadly CO2 gases would be released direc...
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Funny story: CRU Reports Arctic Warming Spike

CRU Reports Arctic Warming Spike

CLIMATE SCIENTISTS stationed at remote outposts in Western Canada and in Norway are reporting "dangerous and consistent daytime warming" in the range of 8 to 10 degrees higher than normal announced Professor Cretino Grasso, Director of the CRU (Clima...
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Funny story: "Touch My Stuff, I'll Kill You" Likely To Replace "Don't Ask Don't Tell"

"Touch My Stuff, I'll Kill You" Likely To Replace "Don't Ask Don't Tell"

Defense Secretary Robert Gates testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee on Tuesday that it is time to end the sixteen-year-old "don't ask don't tell" policy (DADT) restricting the right of gays and lesbians to serve openly in the armed fo...
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Funny story: EPA To Outlaw Beer - Will Run Super Bowl Ad To Explain C02 Threat

EPA To Outlaw Beer - Will Run Super Bowl Ad To Explain C02 Threat

Having recently declared that carbon dioxide poses a threat to human health and welfare, the Environmental Protection Agency took its first regulatory action today to limit CO2 emissions by outlawing carbonated beer. "We understand that this may not...
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Funny story: SEC announces "Color Green" requirement for U.S. Companies

SEC announces "Color Green" requirement for U.S. Companies

After a year of struggling with what it means for a corporation to "go green", the Securities and Exchange Commission has finally announced its new "Corporate Green Initiative" in the form of 1500 pages of new regulations. According to SEC Chairman...
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Funny story: Obama calls for more crises and catastrophes to achieve real 'change'

Obama calls for more crises and catastrophes to achieve real 'change'

President Obama was asked in a CNN interview today what it would take now to get his important programs enacted after the failure of his health care reform and shocking democratic election losses in Virginia, New Jersey and even Massachusetts. "I...
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Funny story: IPCC says global warming causes Islamic terrorism, sexual dysfunction and other ills

IPCC says global warming causes Islamic terrorism, sexual dysfunction and other ills

Speaking for the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), Professor Cretino Calvo Ampolloso said today that the IPCC will prove that global warming causes Islamic terrorism, racial prejudices, sexual dysfunction and acne, among other ills an...
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Funny story: Osama Bin Laden Seen On Video in Airport

Osama Bin Laden Seen On Video in Airport

Osama Bin Laden (OBL) was allegedly seen over the weekend on a security video at an International Airport. Security officials refuse to comment but confirms it is investigating OBL sightings on Sunday. According to the CIA, the tipoff came in the...
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Funny story: Sheep Protest Veggie Buffet At Animal Rights Gathering

Sheep Protest Veggie Buffet At Animal Rights Gathering

Normally animal rights activists gather to protest abuse of animals. But on this chilly January day in the Twin Cities, near the University of Minnesota campus, seventeen sheep are gathered outside a hotel where the activists are meeting and dining...
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Funny story: Climate Science To Become Liberal Arts Discipline

Climate Science To Become Liberal Arts Discipline

Representatives of the International Association of University Presidents, the United Nations and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) finally reached agreement today to move all Climate Science disciplines from the Science and Engine...
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Funny story: White House Announces New GM Car Loans To Be Funded By Treasury

White House Announces New GM Car Loans To Be Funded By Treasury

President Obama announced today that General Motors is now authorized to offer low interest auto loans to new car buyers that will be paid back using payroll deductions collected by the IRS. The government will fund the 15-year term loans at current...
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Breaking News...

Fire Brigade Called To Shopping Mall Bathroom As Hand Drier Pins Woman To Ceiling

A new generation of super-powerful hand driers were criticised yesterday after a woman was blown to the ceiling while drying her face. The Dison Mk.2 Tornado driers were being recalled yesterday.
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