WASHINGTON, D.C.--While giving a speech on the War on Terror Thursday, President Obama was rudely interrupted by a barrage of factual statements and ethical standards by a member of leftist activist group Code Pink.
"Asking [Obama] why the 86...
CHICAGO, IL--Though they lived together for 23 months between 2008 and 2010, reports indicate that Mike Collar and John Garvey now solely interact with each other via automated requests on the Facebook game Candy Crush. Sources indicate actual ve...
BOSTON, MA--According to a new study published by the Bureau of Economic Analysis this week, concerts held to benefit victims of tragedies are now the most profitable industry in the U.S. The report comes on the heels of the announcement of the "...
New Martinsville, WV--Attendants at the Deutmeyer family dinner reported mixed emotions Thursday night, as the progressive stance on homosexuality of Martin Deutmeyer, 84, was marred by family patriarch referring to homosexuality as "the gay", "the q...
LOS ANGELES, CA--The day after Zach Rowland's 29th birthday proved a source of anxiety rather than joy, as the video editor reportedly spent his day fuming at his 241 Facebook friends that didn't extend him birthday wishes on his timeline.
"What,...
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Though he could have been focusing his energies on the Syrian crisis, the North Korean threat, or the sluggish economic recovery, Barack Obama, President of the United States and the most powerful man in the world, reportedly sp...
NEW YORK, NY--A thankful relief hangs over the city today, after the revelation that Sulaiman Abu Ghaith, al-Qaeda spokesperson and son-in-law of Osama bin Laden, was arraigned in civilian court yesterday, amazingly without a single loss of life...
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA--Kim Jong-Un, supreme leader of North Korea, announced today that his government would launch pre-emptive nuclear war upon the United States, but added that the country will be spared until the conclusion of March Madness.
NEW YORK, NY--With their banner headline, "CHAVEZ DEAD; DOW HITS NEW HIGH", the Wall Street Journal seemed to be implying that the death of Venezuela's controversial president and the stock market index's milestone high were connected events, rea...
PHILADELPHIA, PA--Area man William Kevol expressed dismay today that Nike had only withdrawn its endorsement of Olympic gold medalist and accused murderer Oscar Pistorius Tuesday, noting than a murder charge should be "one of those things you get imm...
HUNTSVILLE, AL--Though initially unsure of the purpose of Brent Gilas' turn of phrase, area man Gabriel Sodhammer was helpfully informed by Gilas' immediate clarification that the play on words was in fact intentional, and not a sequence of words tha...
LONDON, U.K.--Charles, Prince of Wales and heir to the British throne, left a number of newspaper articles about the sudden resignation of Pope Benedict XVI outside the bedchamber of his mother Queen Elizabeth II, sources inside Buckingham Palace rep...
ATLANTA, GA-In response to disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong's admission that he had used performance-enhancing drugs, the American Cancer Society announced today that it had stripped Armstrong of his 1997 victory over cancer, and the 42-year-old...
PARMA, NY--Following a night of shouting, tears, and slamming doors, Deborah and Mark Leet took the time to tell their daughter April that they both loved her very much, and the reason they were getting divorced was because of her and nothing else.
NEW YORK, NY--When Jerry Elmswick dropped out of college in 1996 to start his own travel agency, he faced a rapid barrage of criticism and disapproval from his friends and family. 17 years later, Elmswick can finally stand up and tell all of his doub...
ADA, OKLAHOMA--Following announcements of the former president's failing health, 35-year-old claims adjuster and Gulf War buff Mark Bancroft has been weirdly monitoring news reports in baited anticipation of George H.W. Bush's death.
"Can you imag...
KANSAS CITY, MO--Following Bob Costas' plea for gun control in the United States during the halftime segment of Sunday Night Football, sports fans around the country have been wondering if Costas remarks concerned shotgun formations in some way.
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SOUTH BEND, IN-A report released today by Harris Polls concluded that the number of people claiming allegiance to Notre Dame football has quadrupled since the school earned a berth in the BCS National Championship Game. The survey is the largest...