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Fire Brigade Called To Shopping Mall Bathroom As Hand Drier Pins Woman To CeilingA new generation of super-powerful hand driers were criticised yesterday after a woman was blown to the ceiling while drying her face. The Dison Mk.2 Tornado driers were being recalled yesterday.
State of Utah revives plans to allow firing squad executionsAnd that's just for dropping litter in public
Obama pardons 5m illegalsHuge flock of Mexican turkeys now safe and secure ahead of annual Thanksgiving dinner cull
Unusual plea of mitigation sees accused plead brainworm contamination'This guy had a tapeworm in his brain for four years your honor,' his attorney said, "made him think he was United States Presided t."
House GOP sues President for overstepping with ObamaScareThe former Scare-in-the-Community Organiser turned US President is being trawled over hot coals in the DC courts
Bill Cosby Victims Coming Forward at Rate of One Every 15 MinutesAs the number of Bill Cosby assault victims rise, it is now estimated to be at the rate of one victim coming forward every 15 minutes and rising. "Very difficult now to keep track," said a reporter.
Emperor Obama Decrees Amnesty for All AliensBarack I has conferred legitimacy on all aliens in US now and forever. Martians celebrate in New York by tentacle waves and zapping the new World Trade Center.Klingons plan a takeover of Miami Beach.
Japan PM Shinzo Abe dissolves parliamentEarly reports say he sealed up all the doors and windows, and poured in sulfuric acid.
It is not yet known whether Parliament was sitting at the time.
Dozens of Women Claim Cosby Never Raped ThemAlthough it's taken since 2006 when rape allegations against Cosby first emerged, his PR firm has managed to find MANY women who encountered Cosby but were never raped by him (to their knowledge).
Bill Cosby to Star in New Film With Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan, and Michael RichardsNOT sidelined by being shut down on projects by NBC, Netflix, CBC, and his grandchildren's PTA Christmas Program, Bill Cosby announced his new movie will also include Chris Brown & Lance Armstrong.
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