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Chelsea Players Asked Not To Dive During Man City Match

Funny story: Chelsea Players Asked Not To Dive During Man City Match

Chelsea players have been implored not to dive during their head to head with Manchester City, due to a lack of medical staff on their bench. After Jose Mourinho's bizarre sending off of his medical team, it has left the London side facing a diffi...

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Jesus Is A Sellout, Says God

Funny story: Jesus Is A Sellout, Says God

God, The Almighty, sensationally slammed his own son yesterday, labelling him a 'sellout'. The omnipotent Supreme Being was talking at the 'Save The Church Bell' committee meeting in Farnborough, when he made the shock statement. Asked if Jesus...

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Dragons' Den New Boy Touker Suleyman Actually Backs Something

Funny story: Dragons' Den New Boy Touker Suleyman Actually Backs Something

Dragons' Den new addition, Touker Suleyman, yesterday shocked viewers by actually liking an idea and parting with some cash. The Dragons' newest addition was under suspicion of not actually having any money, due to his constant, scathing dismissal...

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Twitter Erupts In Fury Over Something Or Other

Funny story: Twitter Erupts In Fury Over Something Or Other

Twitter users were in uproar over something last night. Someone said something about someone, or something, and Twitter was immediately outraged. Users of the social media giant vented their fury about the incident, some using several consecut...

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Holly Willoughby In Need Of Plumbing

Funny story: Holly Willoughby In Need Of Plumbing

Holly Willoughby has admitted to needing urgent medical plumbing on her eyes, to stop a persistent leak that has been getting worse over the last few episodes of the revamped hit TV show 'Surprise, Surprise'. The seals around Holly's eyes have bec...

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Horror: Man Puts Two Sugars In Wife's Coffee

Funny story: Horror: Man Puts Two Sugars In Wife's Coffee

A sussex man was in shock last night after admitting to police that he had put two sugars in his wife's coffee. The unnamed man, Brian Talbot (53), told officers the incident occurred at around half past nine, when his wife Vera asked him to be a...

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New Billion Pound Study To Ascertain Flood Causes

Funny story: New Billion Pound Study To Ascertain Flood Causes

The government are to spend a billion pounds in studying the causes of the recent floods which hit the UK this winter. With the fallout still lapping at the feet of every hard working Brit, the Environment Agency still blame the Government and the...

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Piers Morgan To Be Replaced By Soft Furnishings

Funny story: Piers Morgan To Be Replaced By Soft Furnishings

Arrogant British twit, Piers Morgan, is to be replaced by a cushion and a chintzy throw on his now axed American talk show. The wobbly faced argument maker, publicly hated in the UK, has worked hard to make the US public hate him just as much. Wit...

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Latest Government Austerity Measures Cause Havoc On Nations Pockets

Funny story: Latest Government Austerity Measures Cause Havoc On Nations Pockets

David Cameron, Prime Minister and Conservative, has unveiled his latest tactic in achieving 'permanent austerity' in Britain. Announcing his latest plan at a banquet, held in honour of having expensive parties for people who don't really do anythi...

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Holby City To Blame For New Disease

Funny story: Holby City To Blame For New Disease

Scientists and hospital staff are baffled this evening as Hugo Mountbatten, 41 from Wigan, continues to talk in overly complex medical jargon after prolonged contact with the BBC medical drama series 'Holby City'. The bar owner, from the Pemberton...

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TV Weatherman Blows Lid On Industry Secret

Funny story: TV Weatherman Blows Lid On Industry Secret

A top television weatherman has sensationally blown the lid on the secrets behind the industry, to the shock of executives and colleagues alike. The weatherman, who wishes to remain anonymous, so in keeping with his wishes we'll give him the rando...

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Twitter To Launch Z-List Celebrity Only Site

Funny story: Twitter To Launch Z-List Celebrity Only Site

Twitter is set to launch it's first spin off site this autumn, especially designed for lower rate celebrities. The new site, called Twatter, will be reserved for people like Joe Swash and anyone who is on X-Factor or Big Brother. The move come...

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Space Loft Extension Approved By Local Government

Funny story: Space Loft Extension Approved By Local Government

Space is to receive a 400 million acre extension, with stunning sea views and an en-suite bathroom facility. Several planets and a plethora of stars will also be included. Local government officials initially rejected the plans, stating that the e...

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Girls Aloud Reform And It's All Thanks To Bono

Funny story: Girls Aloud Reform And It's All Thanks To Bono

Tiny Irish rock knob-head Bono, 3' 4", has sensationally reformed Girls Aloud he said today, from his castle in Switzerland. The U2 frontman has taken full responsibility for the girl bands reformation, telling reporters that he should now be offi...

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Anger As Pussy Riot Vatican Gig Cancelled

Funny story: Anger As Pussy Riot Vatican Gig Cancelled

There was anger and condemnation today from the Vatican, over the jailing of little known punk band Pussy Riot in Russia. The group was booked to play at the Popes 'Jesus Rocks' benefit concert next weekend, but the sentencing of the ladies in Mos...

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Terrifying New Drug Sweeps Country

Funny story: Terrifying New Drug Sweeps Country

A new sinister drug is sweeping the country, say government and police officials, and it is set to bring despair and misery to the population. The drug has swept in to every facet of our society, from the rich and well-to-do areas of Kent, to the...

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Aliens Abduct Digbeth Resident In Fiat Punto

Funny story: Aliens Abduct Digbeth Resident In Fiat Punto

Digbeth resident Harry Powell claims to have been abducted by aliens this morning. Mr Powell, 53, was eating cornflakes at his breakfast table, when he claims a small group of extra-terrestrial beings invaded his home and tried to force him in to...

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Chelsea Star Reveals Winning Formula Over Barcelona

Funny story: Chelsea Star Reveals Winning Formula Over Barcelona

Chelsea star Didier Drogba proved last night that Barcelona could be beaten, and the use of football talent and knowledge was not even required to do so! The centre forward spent the majority of last nights game rolling around on the floor, clutch...

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Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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