Dover, DE (BNSE): Justice Department investigators confirmed today they are considering possible fines and other penalties against several of the United States' largest financial institutions for the murders of hundreds of homeowners delinquent in...
Washington, DC (BNSE): The Westboro Baptist Church, the controversial religious sect best known for protesting the funerals of slain war veterans and their "God Hates Fags" protest signs, announced a startling lawsuit against God in Federal Distric...
New Brighton, PA (BNSE): State and local law enforcement agencies were placed on high alert today as thousands of idiot nephews began massing around the state in the wake of massive layoffs from state agencies and local businesses due to severe bud...
Sydney, Australia (BNSE): Wikileaks, the controversial Australian based organization which recently rocked the American intelligence community with the release of thousands of classified documents linked to the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, has sen...
New York, NY (BNSE): Department of Homeland Security officials admitted today at an early morning press conference that Faisal Shahzad, 30, the alleged "Times Square Bomber," was released on bond at the behest of New York City leaders as part of a p...
Philadelphia, PA (BNSE): Agents from the Federal Bureau of Investigations, Department of Homeland Security, and SWAT teams from around the are descended on a local unemployment office after a random security sweep uncovered "terrorist paraphernalia...
Jackson Hole, WY (BNSE): Mired with increasing signals of an unexpected economic slowdown and the possibility of a double dip recession, the Federal Reserve announced a series of "unconventional" programs it is prepared to undertake in order to sta...
Washington, DC (BNSE): In its toughest rhetoric yet, the Obama Administration lashed out at Iran's ongoing nuclear enrichment program. Iran maintains the program is only intended to develop a domestic nuclear fuel source for civilian electrical po...
Falls Township, PA (BNSE): Court documents released today revealed starting accusations from a Philadelphia area stock broker's lawsuit against a nationally known erectile dysfunction clinic for their alleged amputation of both the plaintiff's legs...
Havana, Cuba (BNSE): Cuban leader, Fidel Castro, delighted Cuba's Parliament with his first public appearance in over four years. A strong, healthy, and vigorous Castro amazed Cuba's leaders and the assembled press corps alike with his deep grasp o...
Phoenix, AR: Joining a rising tide of protest boycotts of the state, leaders from several prominent Mexican drug gangs announced their intention to avoid doing business in Arizona until the State Legislature reverses its controversial new immigratio...
Ballston, VA: Mired amid controversy of alleged infidelity and sexual misconduct, former Vice President and prominent global warming activist, Al Gore, angrily dismissed these accusations today at a press corps luncheon.
Gore raised eyebrows by di...
New York, NY: Expectations for significant economic growth are foreseen in the second half of 2010, according to a blue ribbon panel of financial, economic, and business leaders.
Despite uncertain global economic conditions plagued by mounting i...
Princeton, NJ: Elite Ivy League Educators, students, and a cross section of the nation's most powerful business and social leaders are meeting this week for the first annual "Patronization Expo," held just off the campus of scenic Princeton Universit...
Falls Church, VA: Police, fire, and emergency medical personnel converged on a small pancake house outside Falls Church, Virginia, earlier today after an apparent bomb attack from a Muslim patron claiming to have seen the image of the Islamic prophet...
Los Angeles, CA: A contentious rally of Neo-Nazis in central Los Angeles erupted into laughter earlier this week as Fascist supporting speakers vehemently denied taunts from hundreds of assembled protesters accusing them of closet homosexuality.
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Warsaw, Poland: Ethnic joke specialists from around the world were summoned to Poland in the wee hours this morning to meet in an emergency joke crafting session after the crash of a Russian airliner carrying the Polish President, and several high r...
Sarasota, FL: Markets around the world were rocked today with news of the imminent foreclosure on Hell by a consortium of major international banks. The announcement came only after months of failed negotiations between Satan and the Associated Mini...