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Funny story: Banks Face Hefty Fine for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners

Banks Face Hefty Fine for Murdering Delinquent Homeowners

Dover, DE (BNSE): Justice Department investigators confirmed today they are considering possible fines and other penalties against several of the United States' largest financial institutions for the murders of hundreds of homeowners delinquent in...
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Funny story: Westboro Baptists Sue God. Claim He "Doesn't Really Mind Fags."

Westboro Baptists Sue God. Claim He "Doesn't Really Mind Fags."

Washington, DC (BNSE): The Westboro Baptist Church, the controversial religious sect best known for protesting the funerals of slain war veterans and their "God Hates Fags" protest signs, announced a startling lawsuit against God in Federal Distric...
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Funny story: Budget Cutbacks Release Hoards of Idiot Nephews!

Budget Cutbacks Release Hoards of Idiot Nephews!

New Brighton, PA (BNSE): State and local law enforcement agencies were placed on high alert today as thousands of idiot nephews began massing around the state in the wake of massive layoffs from state agencies and local businesses due to severe bud...
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Funny story: WikiLeaks Revelation: Iranian President "Some Kind of F***ked Up Elf."

WikiLeaks Revelation: Iranian President "Some Kind of F***ked Up Elf."

Sydney, Australia (BNSE): Wikileaks, the controversial Australian based organization which recently rocked the American intelligence community with the release of thousands of classified documents linked to the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, has sen...
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Funny story: Times Square Bomber Released in Plea Deal! Turned in Names of Six Smokers

Times Square Bomber Released in Plea Deal! Turned in Names of Six Smokers

New York, NY (BNSE): Department of Homeland Security officials admitted today at an early morning press conference that Faisal Shahzad, 30, the alleged "Times Square Bomber," was released on bond at the behest of New York City leaders as part of a p...
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Funny story: FBI Raids Unemployment Office! Arrests Made for Canadian Quarter, Balls of Lint.

FBI Raids Unemployment Office! Arrests Made for Canadian Quarter, Balls of Lint.

Philadelphia, PA (BNSE): Agents from the Federal Bureau of Investigations, Department of Homeland Security, and SWAT teams from around the are descended on a local unemployment office after a random security sweep uncovered "terrorist paraphernalia...
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Funny story: Stimulus! Federal Reserve to Sell Vitamin Supplements.

Stimulus! Federal Reserve to Sell Vitamin Supplements.

Jackson Hole, WY (BNSE): Mired with increasing signals of an unexpected economic slowdown and the possibility of a double dip recession, the Federal Reserve announced a series of "unconventional" programs it is prepared to undertake in order to sta...
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Funny story: Obama Gets Tough with Iran: Leaves Bitchy Little Note on Desk at UN

Obama Gets Tough with Iran: Leaves Bitchy Little Note on Desk at UN

Washington, DC (BNSE): In its toughest rhetoric yet, the Obama Administration lashed out at Iran's ongoing nuclear enrichment program. Iran maintains the program is only intended to develop a domestic nuclear fuel source for civilian electrical po...
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Funny story: Erectile Dysfunction Clinic Cuts Off Man's Legs!

Erectile Dysfunction Clinic Cuts Off Man's Legs!

Falls Township, PA (BNSE): Court documents released today revealed starting accusations from a Philadelphia area stock broker's lawsuit against a nationally known erectile dysfunction clinic for their alleged amputation of both the plaintiff's legs...
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Funny story: Castro Warns of Nuclear War. Blames "Damn Kids on Lawn."

Castro Warns of Nuclear War. Blames "Damn Kids on Lawn."

Havana, Cuba (BNSE): Cuban leader, Fidel Castro, delighted Cuba's Parliament with his first public appearance in over four years. A strong, healthy, and vigorous Castro amazed Cuba's leaders and the assembled press corps alike with his deep grasp o...
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Funny story: Mexican Drug Gangs Boycott Arizona Over Immigration Law

Mexican Drug Gangs Boycott Arizona Over Immigration Law

Phoenix, AR: Joining a rising tide of protest boycotts of the state, leaders from several prominent Mexican drug gangs announced their intention to avoid doing business in Arizona until the State Legislature reverses its controversial new immigratio...
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Funny story: Al Gore Claims He Invented "The Happy Ending."

Al Gore Claims He Invented "The Happy Ending."

Ballston, VA: Mired amid controversy of alleged infidelity and sexual misconduct, former Vice President and prominent global warming activist, Al Gore, angrily dismissed these accusations today at a press corps luncheon. Gore raised eyebrows by di...
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Funny story: Top 2010 Investment Tips

Top 2010 Investment Tips

New York, NY: Expectations for significant economic growth are foreseen in the second half of 2010, according to a blue ribbon panel of financial, economic, and business leaders. Despite uncertain global economic conditions plagued by mounting i...
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Funny story: Patronization Conference Attended By More Than Would Interest You

Patronization Conference Attended By More Than Would Interest You

Princeton, NJ: Elite Ivy League Educators, students, and a cross section of the nation's most powerful business and social leaders are meeting this week for the first annual "Patronization Expo," held just off the campus of scenic Princeton Universit...
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Funny story: Minor Injuries in Pancake House Explosion! Muslim Saw Image of Muhammad in French Toast Special

Minor Injuries in Pancake House Explosion! Muslim Saw Image of Muhammad in French Toast Special

Falls Church, VA: Police, fire, and emergency medical personnel converged on a small pancake house outside Falls Church, Virginia, earlier today after an apparent bomb attack from a Muslim patron claiming to have seen the image of the Islamic prophet...
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Funny story: LA Neo-Nazis Amuse Protesters with Denials of Closet Homosexuality

LA Neo-Nazis Amuse Protesters with Denials of Closet Homosexuality

Los Angeles, CA: A contentious rally of Neo-Nazis in central Los Angeles erupted into laughter earlier this week as Fascist supporting speakers vehemently denied taunts from hundreds of assembled protesters accusing them of closet homosexuality. "...
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Funny story: Polish President Killed in Foggy Airline Crash! Polish Joke Council Meets in Emergency Session.

Polish President Killed in Foggy Airline Crash! Polish Joke Council Meets in Emergency Session.

Warsaw, Poland: Ethnic joke specialists from around the world were summoned to Poland in the wee hours this morning to meet in an emergency joke crafting session after the crash of a Russian airliner carrying the Polish President, and several high r...
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Funny story: Banks Foreclose on Hell! Satan Moves to Winter Residence at Scientology World Headquarters

Banks Foreclose on Hell! Satan Moves to Winter Residence at Scientology World Headquarters

Sarasota, FL: Markets around the world were rocked today with news of the imminent foreclosure on Hell by a consortium of major international banks. The announcement came only after months of failed negotiations between Satan and the Associated Mini...
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ISIS renegade fighters terrified of being killed by deadly female attack squad...

...of indigenous Kurish black widow spiders!

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