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Funny story: The Stig implicated in post office raid

The Stig implicated in post office raid

Shock descended on Middle Thrash on Monday afternoon, after drunken locals believed to have seen The Stig holding up the hamlet's post office. Terrence O'Dyer saw a "man in a strange white suit" jump out of a 1975 Vauxhall Viva with a shooter, and...
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Funny story: Children's TV Weirdo with fetish caught

Children's TV Weirdo with fetish caught

Gary O'Blimey with a strange urination fetish was caught, thanks to an eagle-eyed children's TV viewer. Mr O'Blimey liked to barge into a ladies toilets around Stoke-on-Trent, whereby he would attempt to urinate between the victim's legs, whilst t...
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Funny story: Flyanair plan to tax souls

Flyanair plan to tax souls

Flyanair are scratching around, wondering what to tax next. Some brainbox in their monolith Dublin bunker, has come up with the bright idea that all souls travelling on the said airline, will be taxed for being alive. There are discussions whethe...
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Funny story: Onion Terror - Francois Hollande announces new policies

Onion Terror - Francois Hollande announces new policies

In a landmark speech made by Hollande in Holland, the French Premier announced that the Euro will be replaced with a "vibrant form of bartering". In the outlined proposals, a fisting will equal one Euro, a flick of the Testicles is worth ten Eur...
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Funny story: Cretin wins mayoral race

Cretin wins mayoral race

Labour candidate, Alan Cretin won the Sparrow-on-the-Wold mayoral by-election last night. Cretin, a former Miss World and the first person to legally breastfeed a Stoat, thrashed second-placed Tory winner Cardinal Ken "Mincepie" McGregor. Fellow s...
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Funny story: Dorking Man With Calculator Fetish Finally Rumbled

Dorking Man With Calculator Fetish Finally Rumbled

The phantom Calculator stroker, Kevin Sneeze was finally caught in a Dorking Ryman's on Thursday afternoon. Mr Sneeze's main affliction (dubbed "The Calculator Pimp" by local ombudsmen) was Calculators. He would parade around the various stationers...
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Funny story: Newspaper rapped for releasing Radio DJ's intimate Tupperware secrets

Newspaper rapped for releasing Radio DJ's intimate Tupperware secrets

The Press Complaints Commission upheld a complaint made by turbulent war monger, and BBC Radio 2 novelty act Jeremy Vine. In July 2010, Belfast-based "The Exeter Nibble" published allegations that Sir Vine partook in reckless activities with Tuppe...
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Funny story: Harpsichord found on top of Mount Everest

Harpsichord found on top of Mount Everest

Fellow beachcombers were surprised to see an antique Harpsichord, 24,000 feet up Mount Everest. Conjoined twins, Andy and Terence Cough stumbled across the curious find, whilst taking part in a charity fun-run, up the rocky outcrop. Andy added "c...
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Funny story: Funeral Directors in York chase down Coffin Dodgers

Funeral Directors in York chase down Coffin Dodgers

Due to shortage of new business, Funerals Directors in York have been seen "chasing down" the elderly. One survivor Beryl Chestnut, 84, of Gusset Close spoke of their actions... "I was just planning to visit my sister, who only lives 184 yards...
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Funny story: X Factor Auditionee Strangled By Song

X Factor Auditionee Strangled By Song

X Factor auditionee, Kerry Rumbelows was mid way through the hit "I will survive" by beat combo Gloria Gaynor, when tragedy struck, and she was felled by a couple of tricky lyrics. Rumbelows, 24, a former Gravy Stirer, was trotted out to perform o...
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Funny story: Man "pumped full of Mayonnaise"

Man "pumped full of Mayonnaise"

Horror overtook shoppers in an Altrincham ASDA, where a man slipped on a discarded Plum, and skidded head first into a pallet of Mayonnaise. For the next twelve minutes, the man, a local embalmer, Toby Lion, was encased in the pallet, and with no...
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Funny story: Nation mourns over Cheryl Cole fart

Nation mourns over Cheryl Cole fart

At three o'clock on Saturday, football grounds will fall silent, as news expanded out of Huw Edwards, announcing that Cheryl Cole had expelled a rather foul smelling gas, after having a rather noxious Curry during the all you can eat buffet at Mad Mu...
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Funny story: Swedish Painter ejaculates objects whilst visiting Obelisk

Swedish Painter ejaculates objects whilst visiting Obelisk

Famous Swedish Painter Lloyd van Oobstratten was videoed ejaculating numerous objects, whilst visiting the infamous Edwardian Obelisk, just outside the Welsh capital, Rhyl. Onlookers reported that Mr van Oobstratten had started to parade around th...
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Funny story: Swanage Bakers IV Offer Way Out For Tevez

Swanage Bakers IV Offer Way Out For Tevez

League One side Swanage Bakers IV have sent a loan request to Manchester City to take gravity defying Carlos Tevez on-loan, until someone can be bothered to take on his demands; one of them being that he is insists that he has a rotating hostess on s...
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Funny story: Arsenal to sign Spider

Arsenal to sign Spider

After Arsenal shipping a canoeful of goals during the Sunday meatfest with arch rivals Moist United, the Arsenal manager Herr Wenger has been recommended a Spider, that can play all along the back four by his deemed nemesis Steve Bruce Forsyth.
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Funny story: "Licking Man" Finally Completes London Marathon Course

"Licking Man" Finally Completes London Marathon Course

A man who promised to complete the London Marathon, by licking every inch of it, has finally finished the feet, 4 YEARS after starting. Arron Pheugh, who was dressed as an effigy of Pol Pot throughout the challenge, finally finished the amazing fe...
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Funny story: Eamonn Holmes Coughs Up Entire Pie Live On Air

Eamonn Holmes Coughs Up Entire Pie Live On Air

Shocked Sky News viewers were appalled to see Eamonn Holmes cough up an entire pie during this morning's 8.32am bulletin. Charlotte Hawkins had to swing her head in earnest, to make sure that she missed the Steak and Ale pie blast, although it did...
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Funny story: Kate Middleton Has Poo Under Police Escort

Kate Middleton Has Poo Under Police Escort

In a national exclusive, The Daily Spurt were there to witness the moment where Kate needed to use the lavatory in her own house on Angelsey. Some rabble, 28 Photographers, a Judge, a man carrying a fairly weighty Harpoon and 14 armed Police Off...
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Showing page 1 (of 4 pages)
Breaking News...

Obama to deploy 3,000 doctors to combat ISIL

The United States announced on Tuesday it will send 3,000 doctors to help combat the Islamic terrorist group, ISIL, as part of a ramped-up plan, including a major deployment in Syria.

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