Showing:

Showing stories written by Mark Merton

Try another search?

Showing page 1 (of 2 pages)
Funny story: The Queen's Christmas Speech to be scrapped

The Queen's Christmas Speech to be scrapped

According to a research jointly carried out by Oxford and Cambridge Universities the Queen's Christmas speech on TV is watched by 56% of the adult population in the UK but remembered only by 3% after the Boxing Day. The proportion of people giving so...
View 'The Queen's Christmas Speech to be scrapped'
Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI attacked by his mistress

Pope Benedict XVI attacked by his mistress

The attack took place at St Peter's Basilica in Vatican at the start of the traditional Christmas Mass. As the Pontiff was proceeding down the main aisle a young woman jumped over the barriers and plunged on him, shouting "I love you Benetto". The Po...
View 'Pope Benedict XVI attacked by his mistress'
Funny story: Eurostar mulfunction caused by driver's onions

Eurostar mulfunction caused by driver's onions

Eurostar came to a halt in the Channel Tunnel and thousands of passangers stranded for hours. A team of expert investigators located the cause of the mulfunction in the driver's cabin. A temperature sensor was blocked by the driver's onions. The...
View 'Eurostar mulfunction caused by driver's onions'
Funny story: Mother Theresa wants to come back and appear in X Factor

Mother Theresa wants to come back and appear in X Factor

A prominent medium in Washington DC claimed that she has been contacted by Mother Theresa of Calcutta, the late saint famous for her care for the poor, and that she has been asked to make an application on her behalf to X Factor. Miss Joanne Blueb...
View 'Mother Theresa wants to come back and appear in X Factor'
Funny story: Church declared Jesus as missing person

Church declared Jesus as missing person

The Church of England has announced that, according to a latest research, an average person in the UK doesn't know much about the adult life of Jesus. Michael Robson, 29 a milkman from Bognor Regis admitted that he has no idea what Jesus has done or...
View 'Church declared Jesus as missing person'
Funny story: Supermarkets to save the Church of England

Supermarkets to save the Church of England

A think-tank commissioned by the Archbishop of Canterbury to produce a report on the finances of the Church has published a preliminary paper for discussion. The paper entitled "how to secure a dignified demise for the Church" is being published...
View 'Supermarkets to save the Church of England'
Funny story: 6 Hours longer days this Christmas

6 Hours longer days this Christmas

People who have not enough time for Christmas shopping will be allowed to use a 30 hours day instead of the usual 24 hours day during the festive season. Greenwich Observatory Daylight Committee held meetings with the representatives of major superst...
View '6 Hours longer days this Christmas'
Funny story: Police budget cut by half a Billion Pounds

Police budget cut by half a Billion Pounds

It has been announced quietly by the Home Office that the Police forces in England and Wales will have to reduce their cost by half a Billion Pounds within the next five years. Forces will have to come up with creative cuts in their spendings without...
View 'Police budget cut by half a Billion Pounds'
Funny story: Church issues credit cards

Church issues credit cards

Archbishop Rowan Williams will announce at this Sunday's mass at Westminster Abbey that the church will actively help those in financial difficulties to overcome them as soon as possible. A small army of three thousand volunteers will go door to...
View 'Church issues credit cards'
Funny story: New Tax on cattle farming

New Tax on cattle farming

President Obama announced that there will be a new tax on cattle farming due to huge volumes of carbon emission by cattle. He said that it was almost impossible to stop the animals farting, but it might be possible to push the cattle farmers into fin...
View 'New Tax on cattle farming'
Funny story: It's official: Olive Oil does not improve your hearing

It's official: Olive Oil does not improve your hearing

After seven years of research in rural Italy Professor Peterson and his team of twenty-seven researchers have concluded that olive oil has no effect whatsoever on our hearing. Holding a press conference at an olive grove up in the Alps overlookin...
View 'It's official: Olive Oil does not improve your hearing'
Funny story: Banks are getting ready for a second assault

Banks are getting ready for a second assault

New York Stock Exchange insiders warned financial reporters that the banks were getting ready for a second assault on public funds. They fear that the forthcoming assault would be bigger and more ferocious than the first one a few months ago. One...
View 'Banks are getting ready for a second assault'
Funny story: Tony Blair converted to Islam

Tony Blair converted to Islam

Tony Blair called this morning the editors of major newspapers in London and announced that he has converted to Islam yesterday. He has also adopted the Islamic name of Abu Baker. Mr Blair was recently under immense pressure from the Pope to leav...
View 'Tony Blair converted to Islam'
Funny story: Dinner Lady in charge of EU Foreign Affairs

Dinner Lady in charge of EU Foreign Affairs

A Baroness has been appointed as the High Representative for the Foreign Affairs and Security of the EU. Baroness Ashton, one time dinner lady at Eaton rejected claims that she was not up to the job. She said at a press conference she held at the...
View 'Dinner Lady in charge of EU Foreign Affairs'
Funny story: New EU President promised to do nothing

New EU President promised to do nothing

In an interview with The Vatican Times the new President of the European Union Herman Van Rompuy promised that he would do nothing relevant during his presidency. He said that he had a firm agreement with the Pope to remain as obscure as possible...
View 'New EU President promised to do nothing'
Funny story: Gordon Brown was replaced three months ago

Gordon Brown was replaced three months ago

An insider from Number Ten revealed that Gordon Brown was replaced by a lookalike following a deal struck between the Labour Government and the Tories. According to the deal the lookalike Brown would prepare the ground for a landslide Tory victor...
View 'Gordon Brown was replaced three months ago'
Funny story: Woman gives birth to hamburger

Woman gives birth to hamburger

A middle aged woman went into labour late last night yards from her home. Miss Paula Green was returning from her local MacDermot where she had her fast-food dinner with her friends. She called an ambulance on her mobile phone and told them that...
View 'Woman gives birth to hamburger'
Funny story: London restaurant reduces table-time to six minutes

London restaurant reduces table-time to six minutes

A well-known restaurant in London has announced that the maximum time any customer could occupy a table in their establishment would be limited to six minutes from tomorrow, a huge three minutes shorter than the previous limit. The manager of the...
View 'London restaurant reduces table-time to six minutes'

Showing page 1 (of 2 pages)
Breaking News...

Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 4?

2 20 7 12


Go to top