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David Dimbleby twists a bullock

Funny story: David Dimbleby twists a bullock

David Dimbleby has missed chairing BBC One's Question Time for the first time in more than 15 years after being injured in a "minor farming accident". The 71-year-old was unloading his bullock using a trailer at his farm in Fuckington, Sussex, whe...

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Metropolitan Police - Dodgy Velcro shocker

Funny story: Metropolitan Police - Dodgy Velcro shocker

The Metropolitan Police have today issued a stark warning to the official supplier of 'velcro' to her Majesty's forces. In the last year they have citing 'embarrassing' situations when the velcro has failed to support officers. The first instance...

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Metropolitan Police Crack squad - exposed

Funny story: Metropolitan Police Crack squad - exposed

A Metropolitan Police officer from the 'crack' shooting squad C019 has been literally caught with his pants down! Pictures released to the News of the World show the tattooed ass (tramp stamp) exposing himself to the world, whilst explaining he is...

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Berlin Wall renamed as EU Wall

Funny story: Berlin Wall renamed as EU Wall

On the 20th anniversary of the falling of the Berlin Wall, the foundations have been laid for a new bigger, better and longer EU wall. Swathes of deforestation has taken place from the Baltic to the Black sea to make room for the footings. NASA...

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Metropolitan Police not institutionally racist

Funny story: Metropolitan Police not institutionally racist

No, from today onwards and forever more, the Met have confirmed they are happy to go with the simple term 'racist', to more accurately reflect the organisations character. A official statement from the Metropolitan Black Police association has con...

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Londoners are lying bastards

Funny story: Londoners are lying bastards

The good ol London Public have been declared to be 'lying bastards' by the Metropolitan Police Directorate of Professional Standards. Of 5241 complaints against London's darlings the Metropolitan Police Territorial support Group, only 9 people wer...

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Metropolitan Police environ-mental

Funny story: Metropolitan Police environ-mental

It has been announced that protestors are not the only thing the Metropolitan Police are seeking to destroy. Today the UK Metropolitan Police have admitted running the most environmentally unfriendly fleet of vehicles on the planet. With governmen...

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London Mayor gets 'hands on'

London Mayor and chair of the Metropolitan Police Authority gets hands on in camden. Boris Johhnson is seen running like a wild maniac through Camden Streets screaming obsenities. Following the scathing criticism leveled at Boris Johnson, the Mayo...

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Metropolitan Police issue pellet guns to officers

Funny story: Metropolitan Police issue pellet guns to officers

In a stinging U turn, Metropolitan Police officials have confirmed the issue of 'Ball Bearing' sidearms to be issued to all London Cops. This controversial weapon deployment is in quick succession to this weeks U turn on the routine arming of the...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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