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Jungle Joe Bugner cries: Get Me In There!

Funny story: Jungle Joe Bugner cries: Get Me In There!

Former boxer Joe Bugner is set to have his own 'Rumble in the Jungle' when he becomes the latest to join I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. The heavyweight hardman is stepping in to replace Camilla Giddyup who quit the show after just five days.

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Burt Reynolds sold on ebay

Funny story: Burt Reynolds sold on ebay

Movie legend Burt Reynolds has been sold on eBay to actor Mickey Rourke. Reynolds, the star of Smokey & the Bandit, was bought for $25K last week by Angel Heart star Rourke. Rourke, who staged a massive comeback with The Wrestler, has refus...

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Spongebob Squarepants in Donald Trump bust-up

Funny story: Spongebob Squarepants in Donald Trump bust-up

Popular TV personality Spongebob Squarepants has found himself embroiled in an embarassing row with billionaire Donald Trump. Trump, star of The Apprentice USA, claims that Spongebob is living off him. Storms The Donald: "That squarepants is a...

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Alan Titchmarsh poses for Gardener's Bird

Funny story: Alan Titchmarsh poses for Gardener's Bird

Housewives favourite Alan Titchmarsh is set to cause a stir in when he poses nude in Gardener's Bird. The 57 year veteran broadcaster will show his water features in the magazine's 75th anniversary issue. Titchmarsh, who insists his surname is...

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TV tough guy dies a sudden death

Funny story: TV tough guy dies a sudden death

Obituary: Fans around the globe were mourning the death of Tranquilizer star, Ehwah Woowah, who passed away peacefully in his sleep. Woowah, 78, was known as the the no-nonsense tough guy who made The Tranquilizer such a hit. The long-running T...

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Pamela Anderson to star in UK panto

Funny story: Pamela Anderson to star in UK panto

Former Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson will help lift the gloom this winter as she stars in her first ever UK panto. The move has come about after the blonde bombshell's star has dimmed somewhat in her native America. The 43 year old actress said...

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NHS joins forces with Burger Bean

Funny story: NHS joins forces with Burger Bean

For many, hospital food has long been derided. In a report published in 1997, families told how their loved ones had simply 'given up and died' rather than face another day of hospital food. The NHS hit back by insisting their meals were 'nutriou...

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Prince Harry launches Wheef!

Funny story: Prince Harry launches Wheef!

Once dubbed 'the playboy prince', Harry is now on the verge of growing up. The Prince, who is said to be devoted to his charity for orphans in Africa, is to launch a new fragrance, Wheef! to raise funds for the cause. Said his spokesman: "Prin...

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Eddie Murphy en route to the White House?

Funny story: Eddie Murphy en route to the White House?

Comic actor Eddie Murphy is said to be considering a move into politics. The star of Beverley Hills Cop and Norbit is keen to add his considerable voice to the issues troubling America. Said a friend: "He had dinner with Schwarchenegger who tol...

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Henry Cooper fights champion David Haye

Funny story: Henry Cooper fights champion David Haye

Fresh from promoting the aftershave Brut, veteran boxer Henry Cooper will once again step into the ring. Our 'Enery, undefeated in 30 fights, will take on the new WBVBA Champion David Haye in a charity match to raise awareness of the Donking, said...

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Parents to be given compulsory sex lessons

Funny story: Parents to be given compulsory sex lessons

In a reversal of government policy, sex education lessons are to be given to parents. Education Minister Ed Balls proposed the idea after realising that, as a parent, he simply wasn't getting any. Balls, who is married to Cabinet colleague Yvet...

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"I saw Elvis!" claims Michael Jackson

Funny story: "I saw Elvis!" claims Michael Jackson

Singer Michael Jackson has stunned his fans once more by claiming he saw Elvis Presley. The 50 year old megastar insisted: "Hee! Hee! It's true." His family refused to comment but a close friend, Cleopatra of the All-Seeing Eye, confirmed it wa...

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Meatloaf and Yoko to help the 'Bleeding Bankers'

Funny story: Meatloaf and Yoko to help the 'Bleeding Bankers'

BAT OUT OF HELL rocker Meatloaf is joining forces with an unlikely ally to raise awareness of poverty-stricken bankers who may be down to their last mil. Meatloaf, real name Hilary Clare, will highlight their plight in a new single featuring the l...

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Minister Alan Johnson rocks Holby City

Funny story: Minister Alan Johnson rocks Holby City

BEFORE HIS ENTRY into politics, Alan Johnson was the country's best-known Bill Haley lookalike. Once be-quiffed and with a guitar slung round his neck, the 19 year old Johnson went by the name of Sweet Ally-Jo, The Rocker Billy Ho. Now aged 59...

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Sean Connery stars in Rocky Horror Picture Show

Funny story: Sean Connery stars in Rocky Horror Picture Show

IF YOU'VE EVER wondered what James Bond would look like wearing tights, wonder no more for 007 star Sean Connery has agreed to take part in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Connery will play Dr Frank'n'Furter, the 'sweet transvestite' of Richard O'B...

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The cheesy snack that keeps Obama 'in shape'

Funny story: The cheesy snack that keeps Obama 'in shape'

US PRESIDENT Barack Obama is a secret fan of Wotsits. The popular corn snack beloved of other world leaders including JFK, Margaret Thatcher and Neil Kinnock, has been a family favourite for hundreds of years. Obama confessed his admiration for...

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Geoff's pledge to women: you won't get wet

Funny story: Geoff's pledge to women: you won't get wet

STRONGMAN GEOFF CAPES is branching out into waterproofs. The genial giant, once the world's strongest man, has developed Capes Capes as an alternative to brollies. Said Geoff: "Umbrellas can be really heavy. It's alright if you're strong like m...

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Russell Crowe in bird drama

Funny story: Russell Crowe in bird drama

GLADIATOR STAR Russell Crowe is in hot water after cooking a neighbour's pigeon. Buckley Jones, owner of 'Champion Pearl', a pure bred Arabian racing pigeon, was distraught after discovering Crowe had eaten the bird. Jones, 45, said: "I'll neve...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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