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Somali pirates in Nick Griffin kidnap drama. 'Help us' say Somalis

Funny story: Somali pirates in Nick Griffin kidnap drama. 'Help us' say Somalis

It is believed that Somali pirates have kidnapped BNP leader Nick Griffin, and are holding him hostage on a narrowboat on the Leeds and Liverpool canal in Lancashire. Police negotiators have been talking to a group of armed gunmen who are sailing...

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European scientists prove that eating pies is good for your sex life

Funny story: European scientists prove that eating pies is good for your sex life

Scientists in Utrecht in The Netherlands have discovered that eating pastry products can greatly increase virility, decrease the chances of heart disease and give a feeling of general well-being. Dr Strabismus, whom God preserve of Utrecht, told t...

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Osama Bin Laden discovered in Derbyshire cave. 'It's a fair cop'. says Bin.

Funny story: Osama Bin Laden discovered in Derbyshire cave. 'It's a fair cop'. says Bin.

At last! Osama Bin Laden has been discovered in Derbyshire cave. 'It's a fair cop'. says Bin. Local pot-holing group, 'The Muff Divers Club', based in Muffton, Derbyshire, claimed yesterday that they had discovered Osama Bin Laden living in a lime...

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Asian cleared of shouting abuse at Nick Griffin

Funny story: Asian cleared of shouting abuse at Nick Griffin

Asian Tariq Phalid was yesterday cleared of shouting racial abuse at plump BNP leader Nick Griffin. Mr Phalid, speaking through an interpreter told reporters that he had not abused Mr Griffin, but had actually shouted, 'Get all these bloody spongi...

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Victoria Beckham victim of wee piggy scam

Funny story: Victoria Beckham victim of wee piggy scam

Victoria Beckham has reputedly put a £1,400 deposit on two micro pigs as a Christmas present for husband David. Local farmer Farmer Palmer, whose land adjoins the Beckhams fortress 'Beckingham Palace', told our reporter to, "Gerrof moi f****n land...

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Lunatic traffic warden has English village living in fear

Funny story: Lunatic traffic warden has English village living in fear

Britain's most hated Traffic Warden, Geoffrey Showboat, is in the headlines again. Mr Showboat, 53, dubbed 'The Human Ticket Machine' has issued more than 20,000 tickets in this financial year, completely outstripping previous Olympic standard bas...

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Greedy MPs gloat over massive salary proposals

Funny story: Greedy MPs gloat over massive salary proposals

Greedy MPs were today laughing all the way to the bank at the public's expense. After publishing his blueprint for stamping out 'deplorable' expenses abuses, sleaze watchdog, Sir Christopher Kelly signalled to the indignant House of Common as Muck...

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Tiny ghouls prowl UK streets in search of sexual gratification

Funny story: Tiny ghouls prowl UK streets in search of sexual gratification

Police have warned the public to lock their doors and stay vigilant tonight October 31st as it is feared hordes of the undead are prowling the country's streets in search of sexual gratification. One lady, 71 year old Madge Mingerly, who asked to...

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Lancashire mining town to host huge Islamic gathering

Funny story: Lancashire mining town to host huge Islamic gathering

"Mark my words, there will be blood in the streets. " This was the chilling prediction voiced by shamed right wing activist Enoch Bowells, as it was announced that a mass march by three million Muslim fundamentalists would take place in the small...

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Santa Sent To Setanta?

Funny story: Santa Sent To Setanta?

News is just arriving from Lapland that Father Christmas is to make a bid for the Irish sports broadcaster Setanta, which went into administration in June 2009. Setanta was set up in 1990 to provide sporting coverage for Irish ex pats, and operate...

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Harmless sweetener can kill you dead, say scientists

Funny story: Harmless sweetener can kill you dead, say scientists

Scientists have today revealed that foods containing the sweetener 'fructose' can seriously damage your health. Even minute trace elements of the artificial sweetener can cause horrific reactions. Dr Strabismus whom God preserve of Utrecht, tol...

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MPs thank Griffin for diverting the 'heat'. Well done, that man

Funny story: MPs thank Griffin for diverting the 'heat'. Well done, that man

A collective sigh of relief swept like a zephyr through the house of commons last week, after BNP MEP Nick Griffin battled his way through a torrid 'Question Time' programme that second by sordid second eased the tide of anger and indignation that ha...

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Ghost of Frank Zappa in bid to replace Stephen Gately

Funny story: Ghost of Frank Zappa in bid to replace Stephen Gately

Late music legend, Frank Zappa, has contacted boyband Boyzone in a bizarre bid to be Stephen Gateley's replacement. Zappa, who appeared to the remaining members of the band disguised as a meat feast pizza topping, begged to be allowed to audition...

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Tennis star admits crystal meth binge

Funny story: Tennis star admits crystal meth binge

After today admitting taking crystal meth (methamphetamine) in 1997, then lying through his dentally enhanced teeth by telling the ATA that someone had, and I quote, 'contaminated' his glass. Tennis star, Andre Gaseous told reporters. "I am so, lik...

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World War II veterans incensed by Transatlantic slight

Funny story: World War II veterans incensed by Transatlantic slight

WWII veterans across the country are joined in mutual condemnation of what they see as an erosion of the mother tongue that they fought for, and many of their contemporaries died for. Ex Corporal Tommy Atkins, late of the 7th Essex Carrier Pigeons...

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Paranormal TV show star to show breasts on British television

Funny story: Paranormal TV show star to show breasts on British television

Broadcasters of popular spoof TV comedy ghost hunter programme, Least Haunted, hit back, today, at public criticism of the show's immensely talented and articulate, yeah, right, main presenter, Yvonne Batting's decision to show her breasts on British...

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Personally I think it's great, but then again, I'm completely made of wood.

Funny story: Personally I think it's great, but then again, I'm completely made of wood.

"Personally I think it's great, but then again, I'm completely made of wood." - This was the typical response that climate change experts experienced when lobbying a random cross-section of trees during last months investigation into the possibiliti...

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Suck my Pollocks, says UK sweet company

Funny story: Suck my Pollocks, says UK sweet company

A British confectionery and beverage company has pulled the rug from under its competitor's feet by launching a new boiled sweet to commemorate the life of American lunatic artist and random paint thrower, Jackson Pollock. Pollock, born in Wyoming...

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