"I'm the MP for Eastleigh!"
"No, I'm the MP for Eastleigh!" - Hollywood star wins historic victory
Holywood star, Michael Douglas, has become the surprise winner of the Eastleigh Byelection. Full name, Michael Douglas Thorton, is best known for...
With Operation Yewtree cutting a swathe through the childhood nostalgia of 30 and 40 somethings up and down the land, it may surprise many to learn that creepy 1980s children's entertainer Uncle Jake McRaffles was not a nonce, as many had suspected,...
1980s Children's TV star and sock puppet, Gordon the Gopher, has admitted that he was "shocked" and "appalled" to see his former colleague Phillip Schofield ambush Prime Minister David Cameron on ITV's 'This Morning', this morning.
The poorly judg...
Every year the town of Dorking plays host to a very special talent contest - Dorking's Pets Have Got Talent, is a contest to find some of the most talented pets in the Dorking area.
Last year the top prize went to local girl Pippa Middleclass an...
You've heard of the piece of burnt toast that looks like Jesus, the tea leaves that look like Elvis, and used tampon that looks like the Mother Theresa. Now there is a new addition to the list of everyday objects that look like famous people - a slap...
Norwich 1-6 Man City
Norfolk. Home of turkey farms, incest and Norwich City Football Club.
It is a widely reported statistical fact that the number of food based puns increases whenever Norwich, also known as the Canaries, are on the receiving...
A journalist has caused controversy by writing an article entirely made up of quotes found on twitter and other Internet forums.
The journalist, who cannot be named because it is not in the public interest, recently tweeted "Well that's another 40...
Genocidal African Warlord and enslaver of children, London Colney, has renounced violence and has promised to mend his ways, thanks to a viral campain by pressure group Unseen Kids. The group, whose mission is to bring about world peace by wearing pl...
Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown Law student at the centre of the Rush Limbaugh 'Slut' row, has now received public backing from not one but two American Presidents. First, Barak Obama telephoned her to offer words of support, now former President Bill C...
Controversial footballer, Mario Balotelli, has been at it again. It appears that he popped into a Manchester sixth form college to use their toilet. Catholic Sixth Form College, The College of the Holy Water, have identified the toilet in question an...
Several celebrity friends of shamed TV chef Anthony Worrall Thompson have been fighting his corner. They told a packed press-conference that - "sneaking a few extra items out of the self checkout at a supermarket Isn't really theft" and "that we all...
More bad news for football pundit Alan Hansen after a lucrative Sponsorship deal with Washing Powder manufacturer Mulatto was controversially and publicly ended today. The axing is believed to be a result of his ill-advised comments on Match of the D...
Christmas may be a time of mistletoe and wine, but it is also a time of coughs and sniffles, and it seems that the long winter months are being blamed for a sharp rise in cases of combined Yuppie/Man Flu (or YuMF for short). Practitioners describe th...
Craig Moleunit, Britain's Leading Economist*, has spoken frankly about the state of the World Economy. He spoke candidly in a recent interview with business magazine 'World Accounting News Kite'.
"Basically, we're fucked! Screwed! Shagged! The deb...
The office of National Statistics has reported an alarming increase in the number of Atheist babies being born to religious parents. Anna and Steve Gutridge of Lower Funting, Harts are one such couple:
"I'm C of E and the wife has what you might d...
Cyberspace was rocked last night after revelations that social media website, Facebook, had been targeted by hackers in a spam porn attack.
It seems a number of users were duped into pasting malicious Javascript code into their profiles that resu...
Hapless X-Factor girl band 'Little Mix' have been forced into yet another name change after it emerged that 'Little Mix' is also the name of a brand of dog food for miniature dog breeds.
The band are said to be mortified by the discovery and will...
Magic FM Dj Neil "Foxy" Fox has been forced to resign from his job as Defence Secretary today amid allegations about his inappropriate relationship with friend and advisor Verity Adam. Prime Minister David Cameroon acted quickly to appoint a replacem...