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Product Placement For British TV Approved

Funny story: Product Placement For British TV Approved

The government has signalled its intention to remove restrictions on product placement on British televisions shows, a move which led to chaotic scenes in the House of Commons during Prime Minister's Questions today. Announcing the policy shift, t...

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Lloyd-Webber Launches TV Bid To Find A Hot New Bitch

Funny story: Lloyd-Webber Launches TV Bid To Find A Hot New Bitch

Theatre impresario, multi-trillionaire and the world's leading impersonator of decomposing cauliflowers, Andrew Lloyd-Webber, has today cracked open another huge magnum of bubbly to celebrate the launch of his new talent show to find a mutt to play '...

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Jordan Frightened Out Of Her Skin At Horrific Cult

Funny story: Jordan Frightened Out Of Her Skin At Horrific Cult

Glamour girl and Man Booker Prize contender Jordan (real name Katie 'Lowest Ever' Price) has today weighed into what is rapidly becoming the moral debate of our time. In an outspoken statement, Jordan has finally decided to come out and denounce...

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Derren Brown Pulls Off Greatest Illusion To Date

Funny story: Derren Brown Pulls Off Greatest Illusion To Date

Derren Brown tonight, on British television, performed the most sensational illusion of his illustrious career, perhaps more astounding even than correctly predicting last Wednesday's six winning lottery balls, when he seemed to have made the very es...

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Beckham Stakes Claim For World Cup Berth

Funny story: Beckham Stakes Claim For World Cup Berth

Obsessive/Compulsive disorder sufferer David Beckham has said in the strongest possible terms that he wants to be a part of England's World Cup plans - the 2050 World Cup, in fact, and beyond! "I just love playing for England," said 'Goldendrawls'...

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North-West Constabulary To Consider Renting Out Police Cell

Funny story: North-West Constabulary To Consider Renting Out Police Cell

In what is becoming a situation of increasing concern for a constabulary in the north-west, consideration is now being given to renting out a police cell at one police station, according to Chief Constable Luciano Paparrazo. "It is a sad fact, but...

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Teachers Reveal Naughtiest Names

Funny story: Teachers Reveal Naughtiest Names

Teachers in the UK believe that children with certain names are likelier to cause more trouble than others, according to a poll released today. The 'Teachers Pest' list has been compiled after representatives from parenting club mumswet.com had ha...

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Fabio Capello Replaces Gonad Brown as New Labour Leader

Funny story: Fabio Capello Replaces Gonad Brown as New Labour Leader

Never one to miss the opportunity to turn something into a political football, Business Secretary and practising gastropod mollusc Lord Mandelson has today announced that Gordon Brown is to be AXED as leader of the Labour Party, and replaced by 'Il D...

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UK PM Gordon Brown Addresses Asylum Issue

Funny story: UK PM Gordon Brown Addresses Asylum Issue

UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown has today pledged to deal with the issue of asylum, something which has been concerning increasing numbers of voters for a considerable period of time. In order to deal with the concerns, Gordon Brown has today arriv...

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Michelle Obama in Global Bid To Help Health Care Initiative

Funny story: Michelle Obama in Global Bid To Help Health Care Initiative

In an e-mail which was leaked this morning from the White House, details are now emerging about how Barack Obama plans to finance his health care initiative, a corner-stone of his policy platform during the early stages of his presidency, although to...

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Flintshire County Council To Rename Sponge Pudding

Funny story: Flintshire County Council To Rename Sponge Pudding

Buoyed by their decision to re-name the stodgy English pudding known for centuries as 'Spotted D**k' (the name is too offensive to be published in this, or indeed any other, publication), Flintshire County Council has today announced a battery of fur...

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CIA Discover New Al Qaeda Plot

Funny story: CIA Discover New Al Qaeda Plot

The CIA have today confirmed that it has uncovered a new Al Qaeda plot in North London. Operatives swooped in a raid just after dawn. One man was found at the location, holding something believed to be weighing several pounds, and saying he was g...

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UK Ministry of Defence Closes Deal To Improve Supplies To Armed Forces

Funny story: UK Ministry of Defence Closes Deal To Improve Supplies To Armed Forces

In a move which is designed to address mounting criticism that British troops are suffering from inadequate supplies, the Ministry of Defence has today announced a deal which is designed to raise morale, as well as a number of other things. During...

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Upminster Named 'UK's Sexiest Town'

Funny story: Upminster Named 'UK's Sexiest Town'

Randy lads and lasses around the country yesterday BLASTED the findings of a survey which suggested that Upminster in Essex was the 'sexiest town in Britain'. The 'UK Sex Map', produced by online retailer Anne Cummers, indicated that adults in the...

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Prime Minister Gordon Brown To Extend IRA Compensation Demands

Funny story: Prime Minister Gordon Brown To Extend IRA Compensation Demands

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has today announced that the fight to secure compensation for the victims of the IRA will be stepped up 'to the next level' in the coming days and weeks. In a move that has indicated to the world in the strongest possi...

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Top Newspaper Editor In Suspected Heart Attack Drama

Funny story: Top Newspaper Editor In Suspected Heart Attack Drama

Barely a few days after taking over as editor of one of the most popular newspapers in the country, Dominic Mohair, 40 a day, has been rushed into hospital after suffering what is believed to have been a sudden heart attack. The alarm was raised...

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DJ Moyles Bids To Be Saviour Of Jordan's Career

Funny story: DJ Moyles Bids To Be Saviour Of Jordan's Career

DJ Chris Moyles, the self-professed 'saviour' of Radio and former part-time ballast for the QE2, has today selflessly offered to become the saviour of glamour girl Jordan's career, which now lies in tatters after her replica milkbags were chewed off...

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"Church of England Connected To Hardcore Porn" Allegation

Funny story: "Church of England Connected To Hardcore Porn" Allegation

A hard-hitting documentary to be shown on national television tonight promises to 'lift the lid' on the alleged connection between Archbishop Dr Rowan Boat, and the seedy world of the hardcore pornography industry. In the third part of his series...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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