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Democrats Scramble Bombers, Prepare "Nuclear Option"

Washington (AP)--In a sign of escalating tensions over the right to block judicial nominees, Democrats announced Tuesday that they had scrambled a bomber squadron capable of executing a "nuclear option."...

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Terrorists Strike National Park

Funny story: Terrorists Strike National Park

MOUNT ST. HELENS NATIONAL MONUMENT, Wash. (AP)--A string of suicide bombers rocked Mount St. Helens National Park on Monday in what federal homeland security officials are describing as "the most brazen attack on US soil since September 11."...

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CBS Admits it was Mislead by "Hello Kitty" Memo, Apologizes

New York (AP)-CBS admitted Monday that it had been lied to by a former officer about documents purportedly showing that Bush was suspended from duty while serving in the Texas Air National Guard.

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Cheney: "A Vote for Kerry is a Vote for Terror"

Funny story: Cheney: "A Vote for Kerry is a Vote for Terror"

Des Moines, IA (AP)--Vice President Cheney warned the American people on Tuesday that if John Kerry is elected this November, "then the terrorists will have already won."...

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President Bush Promises "Devastating" Second Term

Funny story: President Bush Promises "Devastating" Second Term

New York (AP)-In a powerful speech that brought delegates at the Republican National Convention to their feet, President Bush promised a "devastating second term" if re-elected.

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Militiamen Celebrate Truce with Gunfire

Najaf (AP)--Gunmen loyal to radical Shiite cleric Moktada al-Sadr rejoiced in a newly forged ceasefire with US forces on Thursday by firing their weapons into the air.

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Astronomers Discover Largest Galactic Clusterfuck Yet

Funny story: Astronomers Discover Largest Galactic Clusterfuck Yet

Garching, Germany-A consortium of European astronomers announced this week that they have discovered the largest galactic clusterfuck ever seen.

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Bush Outlines Iraqi Financial Independence in Five Easy Steps

Carlisle, PA--In a speech here yesterday evening President Bush outlined his plan for Iraqi financial independence in just five easy steps.

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ABC's "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" Pens Deal with Israeli Defense Force

New York, NY--The American Broadcasting Company(ABC) today announced that it reached an agreement with the Israeli Defense Force (IDF) to shoot next season of its hit series Extreme Makeover: Home Edition in Gaza City.

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State Prison Guard Criticizes Torture at Abu Gharib

Funny story: State Prison Guard Criticizes Torture at Abu Gharib

Crescent City, CA--A California state prison guard with over twenty years of experience is adding his voice to the mounting criticism of the torture of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Gharib.

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Palestinian Observer to Model UN Killed in Israeli Missile Strike

Funny story: Palestinian Observer to Model UN Killed in Israeli Missile Strike

Columbus, OH-- Israel has assassinated the Palestinian Observer to the Model UN in a missile strike late last night, local authorities have confirm...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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