In the summer of 1979, college graduates Fred Bongersmoker and Harvey Wunkerpiddle moved into Fred's mother's garage and started building computer components. 31 years later, with the company fallen on hard times due to the Recession, the two have be...
She shot to fame 20 years ago with her shaved head, chiseled cheeks and haunting rendition of the song "Nothing Compares 2 U." Then she gained notoriety when she tore up a photo of Pope John Paul II on American TV, calling him "the enemy" and urging...
GUANTANIMO BAY, CUBA -- The Obama Administration has announced the closing of Camp X-Ray and the opening of a new, cutting edge prison for the detaining, interrogation, and disciplining of terrorists and other petulant monkeys.
The facility is cal...
WASHINGTON - From now on, all American workers will be paid in gum. The move to a gum-based economy will totally revolutionize employer/employee relations, result in MUCH fresher breath, and result in FAR fewer cavities.
Department of Labor offic...
American Idol's Simon Cowell told spoof reporters that he's "Had quite enough" of Ellen Degeneres.
"She keeps fondling me under the table," he said. "It might have been quite stimulating if it had been Paula doing that, but you see Ellen is a tot...
MEXICO (Like it matters what part) - President Obama has apologized to the Mexican Government and to criminals throughout Mexico for the murder of U.S. Citizens by a Mexican drug gang.
A Mexican drug gang gunned down two cars carrying families wit...
LAS VEGAS - Men across America have crammed into pharmacies and department stores by the thousands to purchase condoms in the wake of a major announcement by Lady Gaga, who today unveiled her "Million Dollar Orgy" Sweepstakes.
Contestants will be...
Fans of American Idol, America's Got Talent, and Britain's Got Talent will get another choice in the line-up of shows offered by the diminutive Ryan Seacrest and his butch partner Simon Cowell. The producers of TV's most popular reality-based talent...
NAPLES, ITALY - - Today the moon hit a man's eye like a big pizza pie. Scientists believe, "That's amore."
The victim, Giuseppe Baghadonuts, told emergency medical workers who arrived on the scene that the world had begun to shine like he'd had t...
In a bombshell announcement made earlier today, sources close to the UK's singing sensation Susan Boyle have confirmed that the singer is now engaged to be married - to Bigfoot.
Bigfoot, the elusive and reclusive monster of North America's woodlan...
PETERHEAD, Scotland, UK - The entertainment world is still aghast in the wake of today's bombshell from singer Susan Boyle. Apparently, Boyle has told reporters that she is a virgin.
Boyle, the Scottish singing sensation, called a press conferenc...
The war on terror has been officially called off in the wake of charges that American Navy SEALs hurt a terrorists feelings, a Pentagon spokesman said in today's briefing.
The three Navy SEALs, facing court-martial for accusations of abusing a ter...
Acerbic talent judge Simon Cowell has got a "spring in his step" thanks to his new fiancée Mezhgan Hussainy, Britain's Got Talent hosts Ant and Dec said Friday.
That's right! The terror of many an aspiring pop celeb has announced he is being offic...
Medium Rock, AK - Senior year at Medium Rock High School was memorable for Johnny Wallbanger. The Medium Rock quarterback averaged 10 touchdown passes per game and threw for hundreds of yards, propelling his team to the top of their division. Wallb...
ACORN, the controversial advocacy group made infamous for giving financial advice to a pimp and his hooker (who were actually reporters in cognito) is changing its name.
ACORN leadership, anxious to get past the controversies that have surrounded...
The world has fallen in love with the hot dog ever since its invention. This is especially true in the United States, where the amount of hot dogs Americans consume in a year is measured in hundreds of tons.
However, thanks to the limp-noodle cult...
In an unprecedented show of generosity earlier this week, Angelina Jolie decided to take it all off . . . for charity!
The 2010 Take It All Off For Charity is an event that receives little or no coverage for obvious reasons. Past participants hav...
The Obama Administrone has unveiled a major initiative to create jobs in the embattled American economy.
After a year of sitting on its ass and doing nothing, President Obamination has graciously announced, "Oh, all right already! We'll create ONE...