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US outlaws satire: too hard to understand; primaries enough

Funny story: US outlaws satire: too hard to understand; primaries enough

In a startling reverse of policies dating from the Revolutionary period, the U.S. has suspended the constitution and instituted censorship of all satire whether written or spoken. Comedians and writers are left stunned, as much as by facing the need...

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NRA Shifts Stance: Encourages Muslims to Arm

Funny story: NRA Shifts Stance: Encourages Muslims to Arm

In a surprise announcement, the NRA today invited all Muslims residing in the United States to begin caching and carrying firearms immediately. Citing the second amendment's commandment to all Americans to arm themselves to the teeth just in case, t...

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Michelle to Dump Bam; Marry Harry

In a story having grave implications for the traditional special bonds that unite the UK and the USA, Michelle Obama is reported to have kicked over the traces and become a cougar. With her sites on Prince Harry, the first lady has gleefully dumpe...

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New Commercials Filmed for Anti-depressant Drugs: Local Stores Report Grey Clothing All Gone

Funny story: New Commercials Filmed for Anti-depressant Drugs: Local Stores Report Grey Clothing All Gone

In a diabolically clever scheme to sell more anti-depressants by filming depressing commercials, big Pharma has managed to buy almost all the grey clothing available in a 50 mile radius of Studio City, CA where the most successful and depressing of t...

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Citizens of Atlanta to Sue Gov. Perdue: Breaking News

Citizens of Atlanta, GA and its surrounding counties today brought a class action suit against Governor Sonny Perdue. Citing his recent prayer meeting requesting the Almighty to send rain,the citizens assert that the Governor was guilty of felony...

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Cheney Enters Hospital: Thumbs Nose at Uninsured

Former Vice President Dick Cheney; oh, such an unfortunate first name, entered the finest of hospitals today so that the finest of surgeons could operate on his back with the finest of medical personnel in attendance. While costs for the surgery are...

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Kate and William to Marry

Funny story: Kate and William to Marry

Senior officials at Clarence House today announced that William and Kate will marry in 2010. The long awaited announcement was made at a press conference called hastily at Clarence House. Phone calls were made to trusted reporters, whilst tabloid...

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Jihadi Comes Back From Death; Outlines Disappointment.

Funny story: Jihadi Comes Back From Death; Outlines Disappointment.

When budding Jihadi Mohammed al Pointlessrage ben Easilyled heard and understood the call to Jihad, he found the truth of his life revealed. Born into a seventh century culture in a barren desert, he was taught from birth that pleasure was unclean...

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Argentina's Message to World : Don't Cry for Me

Following Juan Martin del Potro's stunning victory over Roger Federer at the U. S. Open, the government of Argentina, basking in a new-found level of national pride, announced that the country would no longer cry for people. In a further development,...

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Prince Harry to Marry Pippa Middleton

Funny story: Prince Harry to Marry Pippa Middleton

In a late breaking story reveals that Prince Harry has proposed to Pippa Middleton and been accepted. The happy couple beamed as they described to this reporter how the Chelsy Davies smokescreen worked beautifully to divert attention from their growi...

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Prince Charles Takes a Lover, Camilla Heartbroken

It can finally be revealed that Prince Charles and Carole Middleton are lovers . Her unfortunate origins, while keeping them apart in a legal sense, have not stopped them from getting together in a real sense. "Yes, it is true," Camilla Parker-Bow...

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Harry Inherits His Millions: Vows to Fight Recession

HRH Prince Harry inherited his share of his mother's fortune today and vowed to use it for the good of all mankind. Referring to the ghastly amount of unearned money he now enjoys with hanging head, the Prince gallantly put his plan into action. H...

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Del Potro Victory to be Honored by Re-Invasion of Falklands: Report

Funny story: Del Potro Victory to be Honored by Re-Invasion of Falklands: Report

In a stunning reversal of policy, the government of Argentina re-declared war on the Falkland Islands and announced plans for an immediate invasion. Infrastructure is currently being allotted; at least three ferries will be employed to bring land tro...

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"You Lie": The Story Behind the Story

Sources today revealed the true reason for the "You Lie" outburst in the halls of the United States Congress that left America reeling. Due to a plethora of recent tea parties, the good congressman from South Carolina, Joe Wilson, was suffering n...

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Kate Middleton Dumps Wills: Finally Shows Some Sense

In a startling development today, Kate Middleton, heretofore suspected by some of being a hologram rather than a person, called a press conference during which she told William, Lord Prince of All He Surveys, to buzz off. "I mean to say," she sai...

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Serena's Ass Explodes; Temper Follows

Serena Williams acknowledged today that her outburst at the Open was fueled by problems with her ass. "I dragged this thing all over the court, man," she said tearfully, "I was tired. Then I felt this little explosion, then a bigger one...all tho...

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Obama Speaks: US Commits Collective Suicide

In a stunning development, President Barack Obama selfishly and willfully addressed school children in the US today, urging them to stay in school, do well and make good choices. In response, millions of parents committed suicide. "I cannot live i...

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Andy Murray Loses At Open: Says "What the Hell"

Funny story: Andy Murray Loses At Open: Says "What the Hell"

UK tennis ace Andy Murray was knocked out of the US Open today in a stunning loss. In a post-match interview, Murray was unusually forthcoming while analyzing his defeat. "All this training and cardio and running and eating right and stuff....it's...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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