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DNA is a Secularist Conspiracy

Funny story: DNA is a Secularist Conspiracy

The following is a partial reprint of a handbill given to me one Sunday morning as I stumbled to my pickup after a wild night partying in Athens, Ga, home of the University of Georgia. At issue was the recent DNA extracted from a 37,000 year old hum...

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Bowling Alley Employee Rescues 'Fan-like' UFO from Pin Setting Machine

Funny story: Bowling Alley Employee Rescues 'Fan-like' UFO from Pin Setting Machine

Reno, NV. - One minute Justin Fardner was about to leave work. The next he was pulling a buzzing UFO from a dangerous apparatus used to reset bowling pins. Fardner, a 69-year-old part-time employee and retired Braille translator, had just ended h...

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New Hearing Aid uses Pubic Hairs to Amplify Sounds

Funny story: New Hearing Aid uses Pubic Hairs to Amplify Sounds

New York - Researchers at Columbia University say they have developed a new improved hearing aid that utilizes pubic hairs to enhance sound waves. The discovery, they say, could one day help the severely hearing impaired lead a near normal life. T...

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"I've Permanetly Retired From Competitive Soccer" says Ex-Pope

Funny story: "I've Permanetly Retired From Competitive Soccer" says Ex-Pope

Rome - Catholic soccer fans are in shock today after Ex-Pope Benedict XVI said he is hanging up his cleats at the end of the season and would no longer compete in Vatican League soccer. Benedict XVI, the leading scorer the last seven seasons for...

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Dick Cheney Hunting This Weekend; Wyoming Residents Warned to Stay Indoors

Funny story: Dick Cheney Hunting This Weekend; Wyoming Residents Warned to Stay Indoors

On a hunting excursion in 2006 then-vice president Cheney famously wheeled around to shoot a bird and instead blasted birdshot into his hunting partners face. Cheney said his ex-hunting buddy still proudly carries the metallic mementos of that fatefu...

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L.A. Cops Riot and Torch Stations after Fellow Officer doesn't Beat Black Man Pulled Over for Speeding

Funny story: L.A. Cops Riot and Torch Stations after Fellow Officer doesn't Beat Black Man Pulled Over for Speeding

Los Angles - LA citizens have detained 36 police officers believed to be involved in what are being termed a 'cop riot" caused by the lack of a proper beating not given to a Black man pulled over for a traffic violation. City authorities moved on...

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79 Year Old Cat Lady Climbs Giant Oak and Refuses to Come Down

Funny story: 79 Year Old Cat Lady Climbs Giant Oak and Refuses to Come Down

A 79 year old grandmother, known locally as the Cat Lady because of her habit of taking in thousands of homeless cats over the years, has climbed a giant Oak tree in her front yard and has refused to come down. Neighbors say that Mrs. Gloria Fel...

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Speaker John Boehner on the Fiscal Cliff: "Everything's on the Table Except My Benefits"

Funny story: Speaker John Boehner on the Fiscal Cliff: "Everything's on the Table Except My Benefits"

Washington - During a Thanksgiving message to the nation, John Boener (R), Speaker of the House, revealed that he was absolutely and unswerving committed to avoiding the impending fiscal cliff at all cost. The Speaker promised to sit down in t...

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Most Marijuana Smokers Can't Recall if they Voted to Legalizing Marijuana or Not.

Funny story: Most Marijuana Smokers Can't Recall if they Voted to Legalizing Marijuana or Not.

John Posey of Bent Creek in Washington State says he remembers telling his friends that he intended to vote to legalize marijuana when that initiative was offered on the November 6th ballot. However, Mr. Posey also stated that he got high on some...

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Latest Poll Says Black American Mormons would have Voted for Romney if only there were Any Black American Mormons

Funny story: Latest Poll Says Black American Mormons would have Voted for Romney if only there were Any Black American Mormons

A new Fox News poll out today shows African American Mormons would have likely voted for Presidential candidate Mitt Romney in large numbers, if only there were any Black Mormons. Romney, reached during a vacation stop in Asheville North Carolina...

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Mitt Romney Rolls Another Toddler for His Lunch Money

Funny story: Mitt Romney Rolls Another Toddler for His Lunch Money

In yet another indication that the stress of the Presidential campaign is starting to wear on the republican candidate, today Mitt Romney ordered his security detail to stop his limo long enough so he could get out of the vehicle and roll a nearby ch...

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Romney Proposes new One Million Dollar Bill

Funny story: Romney Proposes new One Million Dollar Bill

Tampa - A discarded copy of Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's acceptance speech from Tampa shows that he would pursue the creation of a new One Million Dollar Bill if elected President. A copy of the speech, found in a dumpster out...

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Romney Visits His Illegitimate Bastard Off-Shore Accounts

Funny story: Romney Visits His Illegitimate Bastard Off-Shore Accounts

Septic, MA - A story in the current issue of Leader Breeders USA says Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's current Presidential overseas tour is nothing more that a cover-up to hide his visits to illegitimate bastard off-shore bank accounts, which...

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Jailed American Comedians Escape During Olympics

Funny story: Jailed American Comedians Escape During Olympics

London - Two imprisoned comedic actors escaped today amid the confusion of the summer Olympics. The two Americans, actors Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder, had been imprisoned in Buckingham Palace over two decades ago by Prince William, who lovingly...

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North Carolina Sterilization Descendants to Receive $50K

Funny story: North Carolina Sterilization Descendants to Receive $50K

The descendants of people who were forcibly sterilized as part of the multi decade long eugenics program in North Carolina should receive a one-time payment of $50,000, a state task force recommended on Tuesday. The North Carolina Final Solution s...

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Image of Tim Tebow in Grilled Cheese Sandwich a Miracle says Pope

Funny story: Image of Tim Tebow in Grilled Cheese Sandwich a Miracle says Pope

Denver, CO - A man who ordered a grilled cheese sandwich at a local café was taken aback when he noticed the grilled cheese bore the likeness of Tim Tebow, the Denver Broncos quarterback extraordinaire. Even more extraordinary was that Pope Benedi...

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Was this Steve Jobs Last Project - the iOuija Board?

Funny story: Was this Steve Jobs Last Project - the iOuija Board?

Reports out of China indicate that Apple is on the verge of releasing a new electronic device designed to keep it's users in tough not with just our family or friends but with our deceased loved ones as well. Called the iOuija Board, those in the...

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Hugo Chavez Claims CIA gave Him Hemorrhoids

Funny story: Hugo Chavez Claims CIA gave Him Hemorrhoids

The US has rejected comments by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, in which he questioned whether the US might be responsible for widespread hemorrhoids affecting Latin American leaders. State Department spokeswoman Percy Hardwick called the hemor...

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