NANTUCKET, MA - It gives a whole new meaning to "breaking the silence."
A revelational study to be released later today suggests that more often than not, when someone claims to be speechless, they are "not actually."
The concept was discover...
SHANGHAI - Amidst increasing international pressure, the infallible Chinese government has vowed to remove the blood, sweat, and tears - particularly the sweat - associated with its myriad of archaic sweatshops.
To achieve this, it has plans to r...
LOS ANGELES - Talk about giving the hairy eyeball! - In an unprecedented move last week, Academy Award-winning director Martin Scorsese filed criminal charges against popular household cleaning mascot Mr. Clean. Scorsese, 66, claimed that Clean, pres...
WASHINGTON - It seems the economic crisis is even farther-reaching than previously thought. Among the hardest-hit sectors are the auto industry, the housing market, and now -the international drug trade.
According to a survey of over a dozen dark...
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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