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Web Science Repetition Threatens Ice Sheet

Funny story: Web Science Repetition Threatens Ice Sheet

A new study has found that science website articles repeat themselves frequently. Linguists from the Universitat Grossen Luegen in Cologne, Germany have analysed over seventy thousand articles appearing in major publications and websites and have fou...

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Trump to Erect Wall Around the Solar System To Keep "Dark" Matter Out

Funny story: Trump to Erect Wall Around the Solar System To Keep "Dark" Matter Out

In a series of tweets taking many in government and the science world by storm, President Trump has announced his intention to construct a wall around the Solar System, to prevent further illegal immigration of dark matter. "Invading invisible pa...

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Salmond Will "Batter" MPs

Funny story: Salmond Will "Batter" MPs

AS the debate on the Scottish referendum kicks off in earnest, SNP leader Alec "Fishy" Salmond has issued a stark warning to the Westminster government: "I'll batter those stuck up Tory English c***s!" In a speech to party faithful at the 300-Year...

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Fife Council to "Resettle" Troubled Population

Funny story: Fife Council to "Resettle" Troubled Population

In a move to dramatically reduce spending and make savings of almost £50k, Executives at Fife Council are considering plans to "Resettle in the East Neuk" inhabitants of some of Fife's most notorious streets and housing estates. "This will reduce...

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Cameron "Best Head We Ever Had" Say Old Etonians

Funny story: Cameron "Best Head We Ever Had" Say Old Etonians

David Cameron may be on the eve of his greatest triumph or worst disaster, but come what may there is no doubt in the minds of his former schoolmates that he was the best Head Boy they ever had. Lord Scopolamine of Bahookie recalls the Tory hopef...

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Cake King Mr Kipling Dies

Funny story: Cake King Mr Kipling Dies

Bakewell, Hampshire - The Kipling family announced today that Lionel Kipling, father to a nation of obese diabetics, died peacefully at home on Wednesday. He was 79. Although Mr Kipling was greatly admired by a cake-munching public, he had not in...

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Scientists Find Mechanism for Patronisation

Funny story: Scientists Find Mechanism for Patronisation

Scientists at the Kodos Institute in Argentina, South America, have discovered a genetic mechanism for patronisation. Genes are curled up little things inside your cells, which tell your body how to make itself. You get them from your mother and...

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Science Proves Texting While Driving Dangerous

Funny story: Science Proves Texting While Driving Dangerous

Science has triumphed again. The University of Life in Utah has published a study which details why texting (sending SMS messages on a cellular phone) while driving an automobile is dangerous. "Forward lateral control is markedly reduced," said P...

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Blair "Didn't Need Electorate"

Funny story: Blair "Didn't Need Electorate"

Tony Blair today expanded on his astounding claim that he would have found a way to gain the mandate to invade Iraq without the dossier on weapons of mass destruction. He explained that in fact a UN resolution was not required, that the UK Parliament...

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Physicists "Had Enough of Quantum Physics"

Funny story: Physicists "Had Enough of Quantum Physics"

Despite the excitement being generated in some quarters by the Large Hadron Collider, the Internationaler Symposion Von Quantum Physic which took place in nearby Geneva this week declared in a statement to the press "Bugger quantum theory. Bugger it.

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UK Scientists Give Fly False Memories, Ulcer

Funny story: UK Scientists Give Fly False Memories, Ulcer

Oxford, England: In a breakthrough for neuroscience, scientists at the Costalot Coffee Oxford University have given a fly false memories using a laser. The work was announced by Professor Vissarion Meerschaum. His team had spent painstaking month...

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"Fat Four" In Racial Murder Threat

Funny story: "Fat Four" In Racial Murder Threat

Birmingham, England - Four teenage boys have appeared in the High Court in London charged with incitement to racial hatred, conspiracy to commit murder, and offenses under the Prevention of Terrorism Act. The case has been brought by prosecutors afte...

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Dame Vera Lynn In Rehab

Funny story: Dame Vera Lynn In Rehab

London, Yesterday. World War II forces sweetheart and, at 92, the oldest person to reach number one in the UK album chart, Dame Vera Lynn, has been admitted to the Prior E Clinic, citing exhaustion. Her Agent, Max Hergestellt, has admitted that s...

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Do We Need The Bloody Helicopters Or Not?

Funny story: Do We Need The Bloody Helicopters Or Not?

London, England - In response to allegations from David Cameron and other opposition figures, the government has clarified the situations regarding helicopters in Afghanistan and the threat to pregnant women from the swine flu pandemic. "We have...

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DIY Murder Toll Rises

Funny story: DIY Murder Toll Rises

Edinburgh, Scotland and/or UK - Store staff at IKEHYA in Edinburgh were shocked to discover another murder victim yesterday, the third in the store in as many months. The 32-year-old man had been beaten, kicked and bitten, attacked with DIY tools, an...

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Police: Prescott Tapped Calls "Nauseating"

Funny story: Police: Prescott Tapped Calls "Nauseating"

London, England - Police have described the tapping of the mobile phones of John Prescott, former New Labour Deputy, by News International Journalists as "Nauseating. Against all moral laws." Thousands of phones belonging to politicians, entertainers...

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Fury As Thomas The Tank Engine Goes to War

Funny story: Fury As Thomas The Tank Engine Goes to War

Furious parents are marching on Westminster today to protest the perceived "Militarisation" of children's television, and the "Theft of innocence." Since MPs voted to introduce the under-five's curriculum, current affairs will be making an appeara...

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New MI6 C In "Filthy" Internet Pictures

Funny story: New MI6 C In "Filthy" Internet Pictures

London, Rooters - The new head of MI6, Sir John Sawyers, has been immersed in further scandal as it emerged his wife has posted pictures of the couple taking part in "unusual sexual activity" on internet social web picture talk dirty site Vicebook.

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Trump's Brown People

Trump warns that the brown people are coming. That’s not as bad as the orange person.
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