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Funny story:  Health & Safety Executive Announce Ban On Shaving

Health & Safety Executive Announce Ban On Shaving

"Razors have sharp edges" stated H&S Executive Everard Fortescue today after the release of a shocking shock report on shaving accidents in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. "People are bleeding" says Mr Fortescue - "an...
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Funny story:  Iranians to sell Airfix

Iranians to sell Airfix

In a shock revelation, Iranian President Avadmedinnerdad has revealed that he will allow his "country" (read 14th Century confederation of warring factions) to sell their controlling interest in the well-known aircraft modelling firm, Airfix. "We...
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Funny story:  That Twat Blair to Marry That Twat Salmond

That Twat Blair to Marry That Twat Salmond

In a shock Holyrood announcement from the normally ignored Scottish Parliament, the marriage of Alexander Salmond (bachelor of the parish of fat, small fuckwits) and Tony Blair (spinster of the parish of unholy arseholes) has been announced. With...
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Funny story:  The Honourlympics is about to begin

The Honourlympics is about to begin

In a shock revelation, Sebastian (Lord) Coe has announced a new competition that will feature heavily on our TV screens, newspaper front pages and social media for the next few weeks. "As soon as the Paralympics is over" states Lord Coe, "we will...
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Funny story:  Britain has no sailors for our subs - emergency recruitment planned!

Britain has no sailors for our subs - emergency recruitment planned!

The United Kingdom armed forces have been decimated by recent cuts with unforeseen consequences. An average nuclear-powered hunter-killer sub requires a crew of 76 and a Trident sub needs a crew of 142 men and women. The above numbers do not in...
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Funny story:  Euro Panic To Push UK Taxes Over 100%

Euro Panic To Push UK Taxes Over 100%

Chancellor Osborne (Ozzie to his mates - more later) has announced his plan for the rescue of the British economy. "We will announce new taxation rates that will take the average British family's annual bill to approximately 112.376% of their annu...
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Funny story:  Drought Scare Exposed - All Bollocks

Drought Scare Exposed - All Bollocks

Recent scare stories about the imminent arid conditions to affect Southern England may be false - according to Wiltshire plumber, Tommy Gripefuttock. "Hosepipe ban - fuck off", expostulates Tommy. Mr Gripefuttock explains thus - "The aquifers a...
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Funny story:  Thames Swim Abandoned - Universities Boat Race Blamed

Thames Swim Abandoned - Universities Boat Race Blamed

In a shock development today, the 1st Inaugural Anti-Elitist Cross Thames Swim (1IA-ECTS)was interrupted catastrophically by 17 men and a woman in 2 boats in an elite rowing race. The Umpire of the 1IA-ECTS, Ms Drephna Doughnu-Tgobbler has comment...
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Funny story:  Jackson's Nose found near Jackson's Hole

Jackson's Nose found near Jackson's Hole

In a shock revelation, Dr Conrad (The Competent) Muller, Michael Jackson's trusted personal physician, has disclosed the whereabouts of Michael's olfactory organ. Most observers and commentators believed that Jackson's nose had substantially disap...
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Funny story:  Murrray Makes It

Murrray Makes It

In a cliffhanging 3-Setter, Andie Murrray has made it to the last 16 of the annual Dog-Shagging Championship (grass surface), (Southern England Section). Not to be confused with the other well-known Southern English sport of dogging, the dog-shagg...
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Funny story:  Jackson Death Anniversary

Jackson Death Anniversary

The principal executor of the Michael Jackson estate has announced that the anniversary of the troubled singer's death is to be repeated in perpetuity. "I firmly believe" says Uri Geller, spokesman for Jackson's spirit entity, "that Michael would...
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Funny story:  Wimbledon Cancelled

Wimbledon Cancelled

In an unprecedented move, Buckingham Palace has decreed that the All-England Tennis Championship - Wimbledon - is to be cancelled. Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth was to have attended the championship for the first time is 138 years - but the news br...
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Funny story:  Charlotte Church Wooed By Woods

Charlotte Church Wooed By Woods

In a shock revelation, "Voice of an Angel", Charlotte Church has published a letter to her written (it is alleged) by Tiger Woods. "Dear Charlotte" it begins in sickeningly familiar terms, " I write to you as one who recently has gone through a re...
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Funny story:  Tiger Woods And Lord Mangelson To Marry

Tiger Woods And Lord Mangelson To Marry

In a shock revelation, Lord Peter Mangelson UK Business Secretary and Minister With A Finger In Every Pie) has announced that he is to enter into a Civil Partnership with the well-known American golfer, Tiger Woods. At a press conference one hour...
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Funny story:  Surrealism Finished - Reality Takes Over

Surrealism Finished - Reality Takes Over

Even Spoof writers cannot conceive of today's reality. British King-In-Waiting Peter, Lord Mangleson (who is presently solving the world's global warming crisis) has declared that, if all males marry other males, the worldwide bee shortage will qu...
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Funny story:  America Legalises Presidential Euthanasia

America Legalises Presidential Euthanasia

In a surprising development, the Southern States of the United States of America (USA) have decided that the President and the First Family may receive euthanasia at public expense! For President Barracks Obama's popularity is on the decline. M...
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Funny story:  Climate Change Protestors Succeed - No More Electricity

Climate Change Protestors Succeed - No More Electricity

In a staggering turnaround, Lord Peter Mangelson (Business Secretary and Minister With A Finger In Every Pie) has announced that, from next Tuesday, all generation of electricity is banned. "I was at Ratcliffe - on - Soar earlier today and I saw t...
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Funny story:  Helium Balloon Goes Missing As Colorado Kid Gets Movie Deal

Helium Balloon Goes Missing As Colorado Kid Gets Movie Deal

In a slow news day, watch out for Ryo Heene! The 6-year old has signed with MGM for a biopic to tell the story of the helium balloon that floated off (as they do). "My Dad let go of the string and it just floated away" moans Ryo (whose name means...
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Showing page 1 (of 8 pages)
Breaking News...

Microwave Attachment Eliminates Need For Head Shaving

Hyram B. Dison's invention, which eliminates daily head shaving, is now on sale. "Microcaps" use a microwave to defoliate scalps with a rubber skull attachment similar to ones used in electric chairs.

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