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Funny satire stories about zodiac

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Funny story: Geminis going mental over new Zodiac

Geminis going mental over new Zodiac

As zodiac signs change and shift, Geminis are literally going mental over the new astrology. The coming of Ophiuchus has provoked a worldwide psychological crisis for double personality, bi-sexual, bipolar, bifocal, bi-cultural, bicycle riding Gemini...
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Funny story: If You Were Born in Early December, Your Zodiac Sign is Now a Penis With Eyes

If You Were Born in Early December, Your Zodiac Sign is Now a Penis With Eyes

So, some a--hole has decided that, because of a change in the universe, and global warming and all, the zodiacs have changed. In fact, now there are 13 signs. This new one is called Ophiuchus, which was named for Imhotep, the guy Billy Zane played in The Mummy*. The zodiac sign for Ophiuchus is a bald snake, again patterned after Billy Zane. Scorpio is now 6 days long, and all of the othe...
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Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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