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My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler

Funny story: My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler

Yes, it is true. Shameful but true. It is always difficult for the children of those involved in criminal activities to confront their past and the social stigmas associated with such behavior, but at some time it must be faced. My mother was a Margarine Smuggler. (My hand shakes still as I type this.) In the Wisconsin of the mid 20th century it was illegal to sell margarine. At all. Pe...

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Wisconsin OKs Voter Fraud Deadly Force

A new "Stand Your Election Ground" law authorizes polling place observers in Wisconsin to use deadly force if they feel there is a threat of voter fraud. Republican Governor Scott Walker signed the law today. It allows "well-meaning, heavily-armed...

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Wisconsin To Close Three Cheese Factories

Funny story: Wisconsin To Close Three Cheese Factories

MILWAUKEE - The state of Wisconsin regrets to have to announce that it will be closing down three cheese factories within the next four weeks. The cheese factories are located in Milwaukee, Green Bay, and Oshkosh. A representative for the state...

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The White House Has Just Learned That Most Illegal Aliens Are Members of The Illegal Immigrants Union (IIU)

Funny story: The White House Has Just Learned That Most Illegal Aliens Are Members of The Illegal Immigrants Union (IIU)

WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has just found out from a very reliable source that most illegal aliens are members of the Illegal Immigrants Union or IIU. The information came from a source who spoke on grounds of anonym...

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A Group of Wisconsin Republican Women Tell Sarah Palin Not To Even Think About Running For President

Funny story: A Group of Wisconsin Republican Women Tell Sarah Palin Not To Even Think About Running For President

MILWAUKEE - Vareena May Pottpiffle, executive director for The Blue Haired Republican Women of Wisconsin has sent Sarah Palin a very strongly worded text message. Mrs. Pottpiffle told the woman known as "Snowflake" Palin to not even think about ru...

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Wisconsin Reports Firewood Rustling Up 900 Percent

Funny story: Wisconsin Reports Firewood Rustling Up 900 Percent

MADISON, Wisconsin - State authorities are reporting that the due to the extreme cold weather that the state has been experiencing there has been a rise in crime. A spokesman in the governor's office has stated that some Wisconsin low-lifes are go...

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Wisconsin Vows To Cut Down On The Wasteful Practice of Duplicate and Triplicate Signs

Funny story: Wisconsin Vows To Cut Down On The Wasteful Practice of Duplicate and Triplicate Signs

MADISON, Wisconsin - A spokesperson for the governor's office has stated that he wants to thank all of the concerned citizens who have brought the practice of duplicate and triplicate signs to the state's attention. Gideon Hookerfaust, 48, speakin...

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The Precarious Prelude of the Pugnaciously Preeminent and Predominant Green Bay Packers

Funny story: The Precarious Prelude of the Pugnaciously Preeminent and Predominant Green Bay Packers

Many wonder how it is that a little, forgotten town on the frozen banks of Lake Michigan could become the official first city of football. Most major league football towns are huge mothers like Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver, Atlanta, but the one tiny dollop on the sports map is Green Bay. How so? Let me tell you the story: Once upon a time someone for some strange, mysterious reason a sport was...

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The Gambling Gynecologist and The Sound of Money

Funny story: The Gambling Gynecologist and The Sound of Money

MILWAUKEE - Local gynecologist Dr. Wilmer Wigglemeister has practiced in Milwaukee for the past 19 years. But lately he had noticed a drop in the number of patients he was seeing. He talked to fellow local gynecologists and learned that their b...

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The Gynecologist and The Slot Machine

Funny story: The Gynecologist and The Slot Machine

MILWAUKEE - A Wisconsin gynecologist named Dr. Ashburn B. Bixbocker has found a novel way to increase his sagging number of patients. The Milwaukee doctor consulted a consulting firm and he was told to install a slot machine in his waiting room.

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Wisconsin Votes To Prohibit Sex Toys

Funny story: Wisconsin Votes To Prohibit Sex Toys

MADISON, Wisconsin - The state known as The Cheese State has just announced that it has just acted on a petition that has been signed by tens of thousands of Wisconsinites. State Senator Bindy Gladys Fogmund, [R-Milwaukee] noted that a vast majori...

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Wisconsiners Warm Up to Wild West Weinie Winters

Funny story: Wisconsiners Warm Up to Wild West Weinie Winters

Anyone who has spent any time in Colorado or any western ski resort areas has noticed the high density of Wisconsiners living there (to avoid any violent misunderstandings and to remain socially correct, by 'high density' I am referring to the percentage of population, not the thickness of their skulls). There is a disproportionally large population of them coming from a state with only five milli...

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Minnesota Misguidedly Manufactures Misleading Mexican Meals Making Millions Mad

Funny story: Minnesota Misguidedly Manufactures Misleading Mexican Meals Making Millions Mad

I recently bought a burrito and was astounded to see that it was made in the fair city of Minneapolis, a surprise since I had always thought of Minneapolis as being a place so white that it's nickname is 'The Wonder Bread Capital of America'. Burritos are about as native to Minnesota as fish are to the moon. What comes next? Does my chop suey start getting shipped in from Tel Aviv? How is it th...

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Paul Ryan's Grandmother Is Voting For President Obama

Funny story: Paul Ryan's Grandmother Is Voting For President Obama

OSHKOSH, Wisconsin - Paul Ryan has just received some devastating political news. It appears that his grandmother Mayshack Ophelia Woodpeckler, 93, has written him a letter telling him that she has decided that she is going to vote for President O...

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Wisconsin Style Cheese Fart Operation Not Covered By Obamacare

Funny story: Wisconsin Style Cheese Fart Operation Not Covered By Obamacare

BILLINGSGATE POST - As a countermeasure to Paul Ryan's plan to overhaul Obamacare, the White House announced today that the noxious cheese farts emanating from the butts of Wisconsin Cheeseheads in this dairy state will not be covered by what is know...

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Wisconsin to Build Fence Along Illinois Border

Funny story: Wisconsin to Build Fence Along Illinois Border

Baraboo,Wi-Sargent Fred Bekopski sits in his patrol car on a bluff above the Wisconsin River and surveys the plains below through night vision googles, a cup of coffee by his side, the static of the police scanner in the background. It's a lonely vig...

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Michelle Obama Gets An Apology From A U.S. Senator Who Said She Has A Caboose Like Kim Kardashian's

Funny story: Michelle Obama Gets An Apology From A U.S. Senator Who Said She Has A Caboose Like Kim Kardashian's

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Wisconsin Senator Jim Sensenbrenner has issued an apology to the first lady Michelle Obama for his extremely insensitive, uncalled for, and very ignorant statement. The senator from the Cheese State was at Reagan Airport in Wash...

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Wisconsin lost more jobs in October, but Scott Walker still happy with his progress

Madison, Wis--Scott Walker was still touting the fact he didn't raise taxes to balance the budget. "I am the CEO of the state of Wisconsin and I am doing a great job. People should get off my back. I made the tough choices of sticking to union wor...

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