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Funny story: Blame it on the size of the glass... or the toilet bowl

Blame it on the size of the glass... or the toilet bowl

Research is important because the results can be quite revealing. Studies have repeatedly proved that what is taken for granted by common sense turns out to be mistaken. The most famous example is, of course, the shifting from the geocentric to th...
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Funny story: Spirit "pick me up" recommended by George Osborne

Spirit "pick me up" recommended by George Osborne

The Pioneer Spirit recommended by George Osborne was probably gin, House of Commons sobriety chief, Charles Kunnidy said this morning. Pioneer Spirit is the latest feel good phrase being bandied about by the Tory spin doctors. But Hogarth's grap...
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Funny story: Wines to complement roadkill

Wines to complement roadkill

Condition or provenance of the roadkill is highly important. If it is covered in flies or maggots or other insects I would recommend a Rioja. If it smells like rotting flesh it is probably what is known as a little "high" and a Cabernet Sauvignon is the match for this meat. If its eyes are clouded over white it's probably not too fresh (though likely still edible)and while most wine connoisseur...
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Funny story: Schillings in Major Court Case

Schillings in Major Court Case

Keith Schilling, major player in the "reputation and secrecy" law firm Schillings of London has taken out an injunction against himself. At a restaurant in Kensington last night he inadvertently tipped over a glass of Rothchilds' Chateau Lafite P...
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Funny story: White Wine is reclassified as Yellow Wine in the EU

White Wine is reclassified as Yellow Wine in the EU

All white wine sold from December onwards will have to be called yellow wine after an in depth colour investigation over the past five years has shown that the wine is not white. "The wine is a kind of straw yellow," said Oz Clarke, wine aficionad...
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Funny story: Sour grape news: militant French winegrowers suspected of bombings

Sour grape news: militant French winegrowers suspected of bombings

Carcassonne - A spate of bomb blasts in Europe's most ancient fortified town have been blamed on disgruntled local winegrowers whose mediocre plonk has been described as little better than battery acid. Months of inexplicable dynamiting of French...
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Funny story: Archbishop reveals his drinking bears

Archbishop reveals his drinking bears

The new Archbishop of Glastonbury has spoken of how his life has changed since he discovered that his pet bears had been secretly drinking. The Most Rev Jasper Selby has had three pet bears (Bruin, Cuddly and Yogi) for 10 years. They've always bee...
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Funny story: Big glasses make wine taste better

Big glasses make wine taste better

If you want your wine to taste nice it's best to wear a big pair of glasses rather than a small monocle or nothing at all. Researchers at Spexarus University got hundreds of volunteers to wear different sizes of spectacles when tasting a range of...
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Funny story: Scots invade Greece as they flog off their wine at 50p a bottle!

Scots invade Greece as they flog off their wine at 50p a bottle!

The Eurozone crisis, caused mainly by Greece defaulting on its debts, has forced the Greeks into desperate measures and leading the way are their winemakers. Athens announced that all Greek wines will be flogged off at 50p a bottle, in spite of vi...
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Funny story: Ancient rockers, AC/DC, launch their own wine, Hells Bells!

Ancient rockers, AC/DC, launch their own wine, Hells Bells!

Joining a group of ancient rockers, medieval pop-stars and has-beens, AC/DC have also launched their own brand of wine on to an unsuspecting public. Their fans, mostly ancient piss-artists themselves, will love the idea, head-banging over a bottle...
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Funny story: Chewing gum found in 'wine' bottle bought in Liverpool

Chewing gum found in 'wine' bottle bought in Liverpool

A counterfeit wine scam in Liverpool was uncovered when 'chewing gum' was found in a bottle of rose. The 'gum' was found by a person who bought the bottle from a shop in north Liverpool. Trading Standards officers raided the shop and seized 50 75c...
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Funny story: 'Napa Valley Red' is Homebrew from Luton

'Napa Valley Red' is Homebrew from Luton

A Luton man has been accused of misrepresentation of a wine he sells to local businesses. His wine is called Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon Red and comes in nice Californian-style bottles. The labels show a huge vineyard shimmering in blazing sunsh...
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Funny story: English Wine Industry demands Vanessa Whitburn's head

English Wine Industry demands Vanessa Whitburn's head

The English Wine industry is mourning the loss of Nigel Pargetter who died on Sunday night after falling from the roof of Lower Loxley Hall in the village of Ambridge, Borsetshire. Nigel was the 'go-to' man in the village on all matters relating t...
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Funny story: Cannabis Chardonnay Wins "Best of California" in Experimental Wine Category

Cannabis Chardonnay Wins "Best of California" in Experimental Wine Category

The Stoner Brothers Winery of Napa Valley have come away from the 2010 California Wine Awards with the title "Best of California" in the Experimental Wine Category for a lovely little white wine they developed in 2005. Their Cannabis Chardonnay was b...
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Funny story: Wine Fans Discredit "Stuck-Up" Survey

Wine Fans Discredit "Stuck-Up" Survey

Stuck-up wine twonks who believe that the British are plebs when it comes to wine have been told where to shove a survey they carried out to prove their theory. According to their survey, 58 per cent of Brits think Chablis is a grape variety (it i...
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Funny story: Glug! The Taxman's After Grandfather's Wine!

Glug! The Taxman's After Grandfather's Wine!

The taxman has warned exectors of wills to declare the value of wine cellars. HM Revenue & Customs says that wine stored as an investment must be recorded at the estimated sale price at the time of the owner's death. They claim that too man...
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Funny story: 50 Year-Old Man Refused Wine In Tesco's - Because He Had No Idea

50 Year-Old Man Refused Wine In Tesco's - Because He Had No Idea

A man of fifty was stopped from buying a bottle of wine in Tesco's because he admitted to staff that he had no idea what he was buying. He said that he usually drank lager, but had decided on a whim to try wine. Staff at the Birmingham store firs...
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Funny story: Cork Soakers Union Elects New President

Cork Soakers Union Elects New President

The California wine bottling industry remains in an uproar over the recent ouster of long standing Cork Soaker Union President, Haywood Jablome. With a firm grip on both Napa and Rutherford Valley union bottling facilities, Jimmy A. Haanjob won the...
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Breaking News...

Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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