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Funny satire stories about vomit

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Funny story:  Lady Gaga's NYC eatery designated 'A Gagger' by city health officials

Lady Gaga's NYC eatery designated 'A Gagger' by city health officials

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - City Health Inspectors rated the restaurant owned by Lady Gaga "at below 'C' level for 42 critical sanitation violations." The very best rating is "A." The report was released today and was actually a re-inspection of...
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Funny story:  The Vomit Will Be Flowing Through the Gutters of Washington DC. Tonight!

The Vomit Will Be Flowing Through the Gutters of Washington DC. Tonight!

What are you doing tonight? "Yea, man, like let's go down to Washington DC par-tay in George Town! I mean, were going to have a great time, have a few brewskis, find some ladies, oh yea, let's go!" The Reality First you go down to George Town and your ride is a geeky friends 1991 Volkswagen rabbit. You sit in traffic for an hour to get into George Town and then you can't find a parking sp...
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Funny story:  Mass projectile vomiting predicted at GOP convention!

Mass projectile vomiting predicted at GOP convention!

Newt Gingrich held a press conference yesterday in Biloxi, Mississippi and predicted that if Mitt Romney is nominated as the GOP candidate, "there will mass nausea and projectile vomiting at the convention!" Gingrich elaborated, "And this sickness wi...
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Funny story:  Drunk Justice: ASBOs, springs and Safaris in London

Drunk Justice: ASBOs, springs and Safaris in London

Frank Miller investigates past and present Police methods of tackling the increase of drunken behaviour on the streets of the UK. Another ASBO You may have heard about the Drunken ASBO launched this week, but this isn't the whole story. In a less publicised initiative, the streets of Newport in Wales have become the arena for a new pilot scheme which about to begin its six month trial.
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Funny story:  Barfing Statue Hauled Off Mall Premises After Just  20 Minutes

Barfing Statue Hauled Off Mall Premises After Just 20 Minutes

It seemed like a good idea at the time. But a belching and barfing statue sculpted by local art student, Bohdi Jansen, managed to remain on display inside a local shopping mall a mere 20 minutes before being carted off by mall authorities. "Well...
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Funny story:  Bulimic WVV Epidemic

Bulimic WVV Epidemic

With the festive season well under way, it has transpired that bulimics are deliberately infecting themselves with the norovirus, otherwise known as the Winter Vomiting Virus. This incredibly aggressive virus begins with mild cold symptoms before...
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Funny story:  First World Projectile Vomiting Championships to be Launched

First World Projectile Vomiting Championships to be Launched

A new sport has been created that could take the world by surprise. It was 'invented' by Wilfred Retch of Shrewsbury who had, along with his brother Richard, been to see his grandfather at the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital earlier last year. On their way...
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Funny story:  Commuter Train becomes Vomit Comet

Commuter Train becomes Vomit Comet

When the 06:30 South West Trains service left Salisbury bound for London Waterloo yesterday morning, everything seemed normal.
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Funny story:  UK projectile vomiting pandemic at plans for George Bush Trooping the Colour ceremony

UK projectile vomiting pandemic at plans for George Bush Trooping the Colour ceremony

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): GPs'surgeries are fighting to stave off a pandemic of sudden projectile vomiting syndrome that has struck the country following a news leak that George W Bush is to be guest of honor at Saturday's Trooping of...
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Funny story:  Vomit Used To Feed The World

Vomit Used To Feed The World

To help the worldwide food crisis brought on by President Bush, hundreds of barrels of manatee vomit made into loaves were shipped in to the hideously disgusting African port of Ngumbobzuti Zhambouti on cargo ships this week.
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Funny story:  Queasy thief fingered by his own vomit

Queasy thief fingered by his own vomit

A budding Australian criminal who was so nervous during a hold-up that he was physically sick has been incriminated by his own disgusting pool of puke.
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Funny story:  Guinness and Heineken really made from Shit and Piss

Guinness and Heineken really made from Shit and Piss

Representatives for multinational drinks firms Guinness and Heineken have at last come clean and admitted that they make their beverages from human excrement.
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Funny story:  Things to do in the Two Minutes it Takes for the Pregnancy Test to Show Results

Things to do in the Two Minutes it Takes for the Pregnancy Test to Show Results

Vomit Run around in circles screaming "God help me!" Insert planned parenthood phone numbers on speed dial...
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Funny story:  Bush Visits Canada; People Vomit

Bush Visits Canada; People Vomit

HALIFAX, Nova Scrotia- Bush praised Canadians today in Halifax of their assistance after 9/11. Half of the population was very pissed off of his arrival. But most Canadian-Bush-Haters flopped their opinions Kerry style when Bush explained "blah...
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Funny story:  Sick to death of seeing people vomit

Sick to death of seeing people vomit

Is it just me, or as we get older do we have to put up with an increasing frequency of vomiters? I wouldn't say that I see vomit and hear vomiting everytime I step onto the streets. But when I do venture outside of my cave, it appears that I'm constantly forced to dodge the splatter against the lamp-posts. I step out of a night-club or a bar and what do I see? Drunk people and Vomit...
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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