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Kellyanne Conway con exposedShe is positioning for a satire job with SNL
From Secret Service to Leaky ServiceThe Secret Service has announced they are changing names. "Its true," said a spokesman." POTUS has a prostate problem, we spend a large portion of time securing bathrooms, sometimes he leaks"
Trump Finally ConfessesA tearful president Trump finally confessed: "It's not real hair, stated the POTUS, its banana flavored cotton candy" POTUS stated he lost his real hair in a tragic blow dryer accident.
NASA newsDue to government budget cuts NASA announced plans for their next excursion. "We are going to the Seattle Space Needle, its cheaper than outer space" stated director Jim Beam.
Tweeting Out of Your Assidiom. Used to describe what President Trump does early in the morning when he should be devoting his time to mastering complex domestic and foreign policy issues.
Morning Joe and Mika Disappear"They probably just had plastic surgery and now no one can recognize them," said Trump.
Pelosi now has major competition for Queen of Cuts and Not So Good Paste JobsPelosi is revving up plans for more mug slits'n'glues, cuz Mika Brzezinski has gained the edge in the title for Queen of Cuts and Not So Good Face Paste Jobs. Both have emptied Amazon of clay stock.
One of Trump's Childhood Babysitters Will Be Head of the Department of Homeland Security"I always felt safe whenever she was the babysitter" spoke Trump.
Trump Accidentally Tweets Into the 6th DimensionAfter they had an argument with Trump, we are now caught up in an inter-dimensional war with them!
Zombies for Hillary Face Off Against GOP Invasion of the Body SlammersThe two diseases, rarely seen in modern times, are spreading due to low vaccination rates as the ability of US citizens to think critically has declined.
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