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Ivanka Trump Blasts "Cruel and Vicious" Media Reports of Family Vampirism and Abuse

Funny story: Ivanka Trump Blasts "Cruel and Vicious" Media Reports of Family Vampirism and Abuse

As she bit the head off of a chinchilla and drank its blood, Ivanka Trump called out the media for what she sees as harsh treatment of her father. "Some of the stories about my family I won't even dignify with a comment--I just can't believe the v...

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Mosquitoes - The Mini-Me's Of Vampires

Mosquitoes are evil little geniuses. They are adept enough to fly up, whine in your ear, then take off laughing as you whip yourself in the head trying to swat them. They know how to hold a victim in suspense as they flit about having the wiles to dodge the hand raised in self defense. Their form combines all the elements of dark, loathsome things combined- a hunchback like he of Notre Dame fa...

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Reruns of Twilight Series Getting Hot

Funny story: Reruns of Twilight Series Getting Hot

It shouldn't have caught movie theaters around the country off guard but it has. "We had no idea that such a large crowd would show up for a repeat performance", stated more than one theater owner. Some are saying they may run for a couple of w...

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Rupert Giles

Rupert Giles studied at Oxford University, but dropped out before earning a history degree to become a voyeur, or "watcher," as his father and grandmother Edna had been before him. Rather than taking his wayward son to task for wasting what could have been a superb education at one of the world's leading universities, Giles' father approved of his decision, affirming it as a fulfillment of his "de...

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Gingivitis Takes the Bite Out Of Vampire

Funny story: Gingivitis Takes the Bite Out Of Vampire

New Orleans, Louisiana vampire, Bobby Belfry, has lost all of his teeth due to the affects of advanced gingivitis. This happenstance has rendered Mr. Belfry bite-less, albeit, but not flightless. For 8,656 years and 225 days, Mr. Belfry had been...

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George Clooney and Stacy Keibler To Star In The Vampire Birthers

Funny story: George Clooney and Stacy Keibler To Star In The Vampire Birthers

HOLLYWOOD - Omnigate Films in association with Gladiator Pictures has just announced that Bellanino Terrabini's film The Vampire Birthers will begin production after Christmas. Clooney speaking with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight stated th...

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Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Forced To Attend The Premier of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

Funny story: Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Forced To Attend The Premier of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

LOS ANGELES - Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart showed the huge Nokia Theater crowd attending the premier of their latest vampire movie The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 just how good an acting job the two can actually put out. It is no se...

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Vampire Dating Site a Fangtastic Success

Funny story: Vampire Dating Site a Fangtastic Success

Dating sites have had to compete in an ever more niche market area. Ads for mature dating, single parent dating, uniformed dating and illiterate darting have flooded the internet ad-sphere in recent weeks. One site has announced amazing growth in...

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The Stars of 'The Vampire Diaries' Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Purchase The Vampire Sux Bar & Grill

Funny story: The Stars of 'The Vampire Diaries' Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Purchase The Vampire Sux Bar & Grill

HOUSTON - The stars of The Vampire Diaries, Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev, have both realized what they say is a life long dream by becoming the owners of the infamous Vampire Sux Bar & Grill in downtown Houston. Somerhalder told Pico de Gal...

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Swedish cannibal and vampire to marry in; bloody hell!

Funny story: Swedish cannibal and vampire to marry in; bloody hell!

A self-confessed cannibal and his vampire mistress have asked their psychiatric institute in Sweden if they can get married and live the rest of their bloody lives together (promises to be pretty short lives!). The cannibal, enjoyed chewing the fl...

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Sarah Palin Apologizes For Saying She Shot A Vampire

Funny story: Sarah Palin Apologizes For Saying She Shot A Vampire

WASILLA, Alaska - The campaign manager and staff of the ex-governor of Alaska Sarah Palin are desperate to try and put her back into the national spotlight. In recent weeks fellow GOP female Michele "Hairspray" Bachmann has all but taken the focus...

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Nina Dobrev Hints That She Would Love To Have Ian Somerhalder's Baby

Funny story: Nina Dobrev Hints That She Would Love To Have Ian Somerhalder's Baby

NIAGARA FALLS, New York - One of the nicest and happiest couples in the nation Nina Dobrev and Ian Somberhalder was vacationing up in beautiful upstate New York. They had flown into Niagara Falls for the weekend before returning to Hollywood to shoot an upcoming episode on their hit show The Vampire Diaries. As the couple sat at a quaint outdoor cafe they were asked by a member of the entert...

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Interview With The Vampire

Funny story: Interview With The Vampire

"And you, Mr. Alberto Fisher are a real Vampire?" "Yesss, pardon the hisss but the teeth you know." "How do you know that you are a vampire? I see your reflection in the camera lens." "An old Wifesssss tail, I asssssure you. My thong is riding up." "Your thong?" "Yesss, I love to wear a thong. Feelssss good all under asssss the commercial usssed to sssay." "Do you drink blood?"...

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Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, and Paris Hilton To Star In The Lesbian Vampire Movie, "Don't Ask - Don't Tell Bitch!"

Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron, Johnny Depp, and Paris Hilton To Star In The Lesbian Vampire Movie, "Don't Ask - Don't Tell Bitch!"

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Zac Efron has informed his grandmother, Brunicia Flossie Efron, 87, that he will soon star in a movie with Robert Pattinson, Johnny Depp, and Paris Hilton. Efron told his grandma that he will be portraying Chauncey Pepperbiffle, a...

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Michael Jackson Outed as a Vampire

Funny story: Michael Jackson Outed as a Vampire

GLENDALE, California - Members of the Vermillion Vampire Sect of West Hollywood gathered Monday at the entrance to Michael Jackson's tomb to pay homage to their favorite musician. Although a former member of the group claims that Jackson was a card-c...

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Vampire Obama Sucks Glenn Beck's Blood

Funny story: Vampire Obama Sucks Glenn Beck's Blood

NEW CANAAN, Connecticut -- Officials are baffled by startling images that appear to confirm Glenn Beck's theory that President Obama is in fact a bloodsucking vampire. According to a statement released by the Fairfield County Sheriff's Department,...

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Selena Gomez Says She Wants To Star In A Vampire Movie

Funny story: Selena Gomez Says She Wants To Star In A Vampire Movie

TARZANA, California - Selena Gomez was visiting a cousin in Tarzana, Flo "Frisky" Fernandez, when she was asked about her latest hit single. She said the song is currently ranked #2 with a bullet. The title of the song is "Ya Know Just Cause I Hav...

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Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Kirstie Alley, Wynonna Judd, and Niecy Nash To Star in The Vampire Epic, "The Vampire Diet"

Funny story: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Kirstie Alley, Wynonna Judd, and Niecy Nash To Star in The Vampire Epic, "The Vampire Diet"

HOLLYWOOD - Two of Tinsel Town's leading producers, brothers Amaretto and Staccato Monteverdi have joined together to film the vampire epic, The Vampire Diet. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart purchased the rights to the Alec Swishtoot penned n...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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