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No New Bill Cosby Accusations for 24 Hours!The accusations against Bill Cosby are starting to level off as, for the first time in months, no women have come forward in over 24 hours to accuse Cosby of any indiscretions.
Twenty Women Come Forward and Claim They Were Never Assaulted by Bill CosbyIn a move that will go a long ways in clearing Bill Cosby's reputation, twenty women have come forward to say that Cosby NEVER laid a hand on any of them.
Joe Cocker and Lauren Bacall's Wills Are Read, Both Say Bill Cosby Drugged ThemIn a surprising coincidence, both Joe Cocker and Lauren Bacall's wills gave information they were afraid to disclose while living, that they were both drugged by Bill Cosby with doctored pudding pops.
Dog struggling to find new response to "How was your day, Buddy?"Buddy the dog always greets his owner with a wagging tail and smiling face, but has grown concerned that he needs to vary his response, based to the reality of his day and his activities.
Kim Jong un Has His New Christmas Song Dedicated To HimselfLast night the population of North Korea wee ordered to sing "Kim Jong merrily is high", the ruler's self composed Christmas Carol, to thank him for keeping out evil Western influences.
New York Distillery Raided By Elliot NessThe first new Big Apple Gin distillery since prohibition has been smashed up by Elliot Ness, a distant relative of Elliot Ness. "I saw Alice Capone in there", he drunkenly explained to bogus cops.
Electric Chairs To Be Installed In Obamacare HomesCare homes are to have "Old Sparky" style electric chairs installed to help reduce the cost of arthritis medication. the voltage applied will be similar to Star Trek "Set to stun" levels.
Turkeys Become Suspicious Of "Too Good To Be True" EnvironmentReports of turkeys peering under cage doors and through holes in sheds are being taken seriously after the catastrophic consequences (a glut of small turkeys) of a hunger strike were evaluated.
North Korea's Internet Crashes for Two Weeks-No One NoticesNorth Korea, where electricity is a sometime thing, lost their Internet for two weeks but didn't notice until Kim Jong Un wanted to go online to check his favorite porn sites.
A Delighted Putin Sends Obama An Early GiftMoscow-Since the US has now taken Cuba off his hands, Chief Thug Putski sent Barack I a case of Beluga cavier with the following note: Merry CommiMass,comrade Barack,enjoy munchin & smokin with Fidel!
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