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Funny story: New American values committee forming to consider Senator Feinstein's emotionalism versus Mr. Cheney's dry-eyed but nasty interrogation systems

New American values committee forming to consider Senator Feinstein's emotionalism versus Mr. Cheney's dry-eyed but nasty interrogation systems

Former vice-president Mr. Richard "would do it again in a trice" Cheney has come forward to exonerate CIA "enhanced interrogation" tactics first used during the Bush administration. America must be defended, according to Mr. Cheney, no matter wha...
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Funny story: CIA Just Uses Dominatrix Techniques

CIA Just Uses Dominatrix Techniques

On Thursday a Senate intelligence panel will vote to make public a report that shows that the CIA mismanaged its "enhanced interrogation program" by torturing detainees in its "war on terror." The report shows the Agency dealt in water boarding and...
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Funny story: Former political prisoners recall how Pinochet used Cliff Richard and Cat Stevens songs in torture sessions

Former political prisoners recall how Pinochet used Cliff Richard and Cat Stevens songs in torture sessions

Chile - Crappy singles like Cliff Richard's 'Mistletoe and Whine' and 'Living Troll' were part of General Pinochet's awesome torture armory according to former prisoners abused for decades by the vile dictator in Santiago Jail. Played ad nauseam a...
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Funny story: Bryan Air to show free in-flight movies

Bryan Air to show free in-flight movies

Bryan Air, the cheapest of the budget airways is to show in flight films free of charge. This is an unusual move by the low-cost airline renowned for charging for everything else above and beyond the price of the ticket. "Ordinarily," said OfAi...
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Funny story: Torture - The Irish Way

Torture - The Irish Way

China and Iran are two countries that spring to mind when we think about torture, however, if I had to choose a country in which to suffer it I would be happy to be stuck in Ireland. Here follows a list of Irish torture techniques: Cheese boarding: Subjects are made to sniff whiffy cheeses such as 'Stinky Bishop' and Stilton for hours on end. In extreme circumstances prison guards have even bee...
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Funny story: BBC Weather Forecasters' Stressful Life

BBC Weather Forecasters' Stressful Life

Spare a thought for the weather men and women on the BBC - we expect so much from them, they are losing sleep... and worse. Ever since Michael Fish assured the nation there was no hurricane on the way just hours before 1988's "storm of the century...
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Funny story: Inside The Egyptian Torture Chamber

Inside The Egyptian Torture Chamber

Egyptian patriots have recently broken through the cemented entrance of the Mubarak Secret Police Torture Chamber. Besides a collection of thumb screws, racks, and Iron Maidens other items were discovered that would make even the Sphinx cringe: * A Silvio Berlusconi sex video * A 455-pound man making love to a 365-pound woman * Susan Boyle at 6AM * Taylor Swift singing the Nati...
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Funny story: Dunkan Donuts' Secret Employee Prison Discovered and Toured

Dunkan Donuts' Secret Employee Prison Discovered and Toured

CANTON, Mass. - More employees of Dunkan Donuts, suspected of being part of a plot to funnel secret doughnut and coffee-making information to it's host of competitors, were arrested and jailed today, as part of a region wide crackdown on secret-leaka...
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Funny story: James Blunt Outs Terrorists

James Blunt Outs Terrorists

In the on-going war against terrorism it emerged today that British singer songwriter James Blunt, 53, plays a huge part in hunting down terrorist hideouts and wanted criminals. Colonel Terry Spatchcock of Regiment 113 Division Two explained: '...
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Funny story: British Officer "HRH" Torture Leak Rebuke

British Officer "HRH" Torture Leak Rebuke

Whitehall and the Government are in shock tonight after a leaked recording alleged to be of a British RAF Officer - identified only as "HRH" - torturing an Afghan civilian was released by Welsh whistle-blowing website Wikileeks. It has sparked demands for a forces-wide review, and for the officer in question to be sharply rebuked. The true horror of the acts can only be appreciated in transc...
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Funny story: George W Bush says UK lives 'saved by watersports'

George W Bush says UK lives 'saved by watersports'

British lives were saved by the use of information obtained from terrorist suspects by "surfboarding", according to former US President George W Bush. In his memoir, he said the simulated drowning technique helped break plots on various targets in th...
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Funny story: Waterboarding to become mainstream

Waterboarding to become mainstream

In his new book, Decision Cockups, ex-President George Dubya Bush states that the practice of "waterboarding", in which water is poured over a person's face to simulate drowning, is morally defensible, legal and effective and does not constitute tort...
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Funny story: Millions go down with flu. Shopkeeper arrested

Millions go down with flu. Shopkeeper arrested

With millions of people in the UK falling ill with flu or stomach bugs, a Birmingham corner shopkeeper whose grandfather came from Pakistan has been arrested and charged with releasing germs into the atmosphere in the name of Allah. Zaffar Ali Kha...
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Funny story: British justice saves the day by molly-coddling yobs! Evil teenage thugs who tortured helpless autistic boy for 17 days released by judge because they "said sorry"

British justice saves the day by molly-coddling yobs! Evil teenage thugs who tortured helpless autistic boy for 17 days released by judge because they "said sorry"

The evidence was there for all to see. A gang of 3 evil teens - used a mobile phone to film themselves carrying out depraved assaults on their 17-year-old autistic victim - who suffers from Asperger's syndrome. In a sickening spree of violence the...
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Funny story: The World's Noise Experts Claim That The Sound of The World Cup Vuvuzela Is Worse Than Water Boarding

The World's Noise Experts Claim That The Sound of The World Cup Vuvuzela Is Worse Than Water Boarding

TOKYO - Dr. Choofi Hirocheeto, one of the world's foremost experts on noise, has commented in several publications including the highly prestigious Hey What The Hell Was That Noise Illustrated Monthly, that the sound of the African trumpets known as...
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Funny story: China bans evidence from torture; Texas may soon follow suit

China bans evidence from torture; Texas may soon follow suit

Evidence obtained under torture cannot be used in China's courts, the government has said, weeks after a convicted murderer was set free because his victim turned out to be less dead than previously supposed. Laws banning torture are in place, bu...
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Funny story: DIY used as terrorist torture

DIY used as terrorist torture

MI5 have come under scrutiny today as it has emerged the secret service have been using the threat of making people complete DIY tasks as part of their interrogation process. The story came to light due to the claim of a yet undisclosed source rec...
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Funny story: Apple Sues Alex Jones Over iPad Torture

Apple Sues Alex Jones Over iPad Torture

Apple Computer has filed suit against Alex Jones over his famous Youtube video showing him torturing an iPad to death. The ten-minute piece shows various interrogation methods used by the US Military - with the support and blessing of every other...
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Breaking News...

Teachers sentenced for sex with students

A former female high school teacher received six months in jail for having sex with a male student, while a male teacher at the same school received a six-year sentence for bedding a coed pupil.

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