After years of investigation, Scientists at Dyson's Research and Development labs in Sussex have isolated the single greatest cause of obesity in the western world.
"It's the toaster," said Geoff Fry, head of the Single Slice Toaster Development T...
June Reynolds of Townsend, Tennessee was hauled away by police still screaming this morning because she had apparently tried over 100 times to get through to someone who would help her sign up for Obamacare.
"That's the third one we have had to ar...
"This happened to a guy in London, England recently and was reported in all the newspapers so I guess this idiot thought it must be some wonderful thing and he winds up needing help also", says Fire Chief Nick Shaft.
Shaft was talking about the re...
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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