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Funny story: First Lady Offers Refugee Ghetto Kids Life Lessons At Urban Community Garden Patch

First Lady Offers Refugee Ghetto Kids Life Lessons At Urban Community Garden Patch

Baltimore - First Lady Michelle Obama escorted a group of mostly Hispanic, non-English speaking kids to a ghetto community garden on the first leg of her month long "Garden Organic Now America!" tour, where she told them "organic gardening teaches th...
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Funny story: Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

Vatican Council to Decide if God Has a Penis and Testacles

The Vatican well known for it's lofty metaphysical discussions about the meaning of life like whether children will go to hell for masturbating and if women's orgasm are sinful and important philosophical quandaries like that - has now turned to deep...
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Funny story: World Watches In Amazement as US Giggles for Two Weeks Over 'Balls'

World Watches In Amazement as US Giggles for Two Weeks Over 'Balls'

New York-A UN resolution, sponsored by a broad coalition of stupefied nations led by Secretary-General Ban ki-Moon, called upon the United States today to "grow up, for God's sake, and stop with the stupid double entendres about deflated footballs."...
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Funny story: Indianapolis coach's explanation "not convincing," Science Guy says

Indianapolis coach's explanation "not convincing," Science Guy says

Bill Nigh, the Science Guy, a die-hard Indianapolis Dolts fan, hypothesizes that the explanation of the New England Playoffs coach, Bill Bellyache, that global warming is the cause of his team's under-inflated balls is "dubious at best." Climate...
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Funny story: Maverick RAF Cock Drawing Pilot shows some bollocks this time!

Maverick RAF Cock Drawing Pilot shows some bollocks this time!

RAF Lossiemouth confirmed to the The Daily Nettle today, that one of their most daring pilots, Flight Lootenant Wing Commander Flight Captain Viceroy Gordon 'Goose' Maverick, has been carpeted by station big-wigs for the second time in a week, after...
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Funny story: Childbirth vs a kick in the privates, which is more painful?

Childbirth vs a kick in the privates, which is more painful?

Angry scenes at A&E tonight as a man and woman, Barry Nutsafe and Dawn Moulds are having a 'pain-off', just to see which is more painful. Being kicked in the privates or childbirth. We have an audience including staff having fag breaks, peopl...
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Funny story: Testicles sliced off on water park ride

Testicles sliced off on water park ride

Auntie Jean advises D. Void O'Nuts. "Auntie Jean, my nuts were sliced off by a broken piece of glass fibre on a Water Park slide this morning. The lifeguard retrieved them for me and packed them into a medium fizzy orange carton with ice. I have a day off next week and wondered whether to freeze them until then, when I can get to the casualty department. I know to keep them away from the dog a...
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Funny story: Vehicle accessories

Vehicle accessories

For women, accessories relate to dress and include such items as bows, tiaras, necklaces, bracelets, pins, rings, anklets, purses, shoes, and men with thick wallets. For men, accessories relate to vehicles, and include hubcaps, rims, wheels, racing stripes, cabin-mounted rifle racks, decals, and truck balls. Although men accessorize both cars and trucks, the latter are often decorated with raci...
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Funny story: No Worries For Dorries As She's Booted Out Of The Jungle

No Worries For Dorries As She's Booted Out Of The Jungle

Occassional Conservative MP and full-time attention seeker Nadine Dorries has become the first person to be voted off ITV's 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here'. Dorries, who's not even a celebrity, became the first sitting MP since George Gallowa...
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Funny story: Testes are 'Prozac factories' says report

Testes are 'Prozac factories' says report

London - Women who wear sensible shoes have always suspected as much, shunning their delights over 'chemical cosh' fears. Those suspicions have now been vindicated as a report published today says anti-depressants and mood altering toxins are foun...
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Funny story: World Health Organization: Men's Desks Are Dirtier Than Women's. Also, Pizza is Yummy.

World Health Organization: Men's Desks Are Dirtier Than Women's. Also, Pizza is Yummy.

World Health Organization: "Men's Desks Are Dirtier Than Women's. Also, Pizza is Yummy." The World Health Organization released findings on a series of expensive studies today, including a study that shows that men's desks are dirtier than women's...
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Funny story: Dorking pensioner traps testicles during shower

Dorking pensioner traps testicles during shower

A pensioner had to be taken to hospital after they caught their testicles in a shower seat last week. Dorking fire crews were called out to the pensioner's house in Dorking on April 6th to help cut them free after getting their private parts trapp...
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Funny story: Porsche Demands U.S. Emergency Call Number be Changed

Porsche Demands U.S. Emergency Call Number be Changed

Privately miffed for decades over the common misuse of their U.S. based corporate switchboard and dealer network phone lines, Porsche has asked the federal government to change the "911" emergency call number to "something else". Porsche automotiv...
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Funny story: Boris Johnson Sexually Abused by Sir Andrew Neil?

Boris Johnson Sexually Abused by Sir Andrew Neil?

Boris Johnson, the weirdly haired loon who runs London, has accused esteemed BBC political frontman Sir Andrew Neil of touching him inappropriately. Boris, who is currently in Davos deliberating with fellow strangefellows, has told Abu Dhabi-finan...
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Funny story: Furious Burnley War Hero Demands The Return Of Hitler's Long Lost Testicle

Furious Burnley War Hero Demands The Return Of Hitler's Long Lost Testicle

Legendary Burnley war hero, Jimmy Bacon, of Accrington Road in the town, today demanded the return of Hitler's long lost testicle, claiming that he was the rightful owner, and that the council had no right slipping a local junkie a tenner, for the po...
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Funny story: Hitler's Missing Testicle Found In Burnley Skip

Hitler's Missing Testicle Found In Burnley Skip

The late and not much lamented German Reichs Chancellor's legendary missing testicle has reportedly been found in a Burnley skip. Local skip-dipper, Justin Eclair, 29, a registered heroin addict, had been rummaging through a skip outside an under...
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Funny story: Freddie Starr ate Fatima Whitbread's testicles

Freddie Starr ate Fatima Whitbread's testicles

Comedian Freddie Starr was dramatically rushed to hospital yesterday after eating Fatima Whitbread's testicles on I'm A Donut Get Me Out Of Here. The pot-bellied scouser suffered an allergic reaction to the Bushtucker Trial but dismissed reports t...
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Funny story: Bonds: Testicle Shrinkage Due to Sex Change

Bonds: Testicle Shrinkage Due to Sex Change

Former baseball slugger Barry Bonds acknowledged today that his sperm-manufacturing organs did indeed atrophy-but not because he was taking steroids to make him more powerful at the plate. Bonds said he suffered the retracted gonads because he w...
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Breaking News...

President Obama Issues Executive Order, Combining ATF, USDA, GMOs and Climate Change

President Obama issued an executive order today, directing the ATF, USDA, GMOs and Climate Change to be combined into one department (FAT ASS).
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