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Funny story: Tesco Allocates New Parking Bays For The Selfish

Tesco Allocates New Parking Bays For The Selfish

Tesco announced today that it is introducing new car parking areas specifically for those of a selfish disposition. The designated spaces will be added on to the ends of existing rows in Tesco's car parks and marked with cross hatching. The schem...
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Funny story: Ex Tesco boss, Sir Terry Leahy, loves boarded up high street shops!

Ex Tesco boss, Sir Terry Leahy, loves boarded up high street shops!

Sir Terry Leahy, ex supermarket boss sitting on a "Desert Island Disc" has said he just loves boarded-up shops in the high streets of Britain because it means more customers for his beloved supermarket and the death of the "little shops and their own...
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Funny story: Tesco burger found in horse!

Tesco burger found in horse!

Super market giant Tesco today admitted that one of their prime value beef burgers had been found inside a horse. The horse named Billy after William Shakespeare, was today undergoing intensive surgery to remove the burger which had lodged in its sto...
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Funny story: India doesn't want British supermarkets because they're not the "Raj" anymore!

India doesn't want British supermarkets because they're not the "Raj" anymore!

Protests in India have proven that the Raj has had its day on the sub-continent and British supermarkets are not the "Raj" as far as Indians go. Global supermarkets attempting to cash in on India's new found wealth, including British ones, are bei...
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Funny story: Tesco: Every Little Old Lady Helps

Tesco: Every Little Old Lady Helps

Tesco are due to announce that they intend to change retirement age for their staff from 65 to 67. They will become the first major employer to make the change, and they believe the move will be popular. Tesco Group Personnel Director Val Ewebran...
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Funny story: Bristol hippies protest against Tesco

Bristol hippies protest against Tesco

A group calling themselves the People's Republic of Stokes Croft are continuing to protest against the opening of a Tesco's shop in Bristol. The group are named after the totalitarian regime which seized power in China in the 1950s, and the Bristol g...
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Funny story: Cashback Protesters Strike in Manchester

Cashback Protesters Strike in Manchester

Protesters against the expansion of the supermarket giant Tesbury's have struck in Manchester with a cash-back scam that has left the national chain of grocery stores fuming. "We're very disappointed," said Tesbury's managing director Tessa Coe. "...
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Funny story: Future News: Prices Wars II

Future News: Prices Wars II

(Published 2017) - LONDON - A second price war has happened within the borders of Britain. Back in '13 it was GAP vs. Peacock (both are clothes stores). Today it is ASDA Vs. Tesco. Like the previous price war, both transnational corporations are d...
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Funny story: lt's Tesco - not the benefits office!

lt's Tesco - not the benefits office!

There has been plenty of time to change the points in the Tesco Big Christmas Exchange deal offered to double the value of points and vouchers held on the Clubcards used by millions of customers. Some people did with ease. They bought their barga...
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Funny story: NHS follow Tesco in budget cuts latest

NHS follow Tesco in budget cuts latest

Designed to speed up waiting systems, make the whole "4 hour rule" look like the piece of shit that it is as well as make it cheaper for the NHS in terms of wages: hospitals in Wales are the first to try out "DIY Operation Station". The area allow...
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Funny story: UK's largest supermarket chain, Tesco's, now sell viagra to the oldest "swingers" in town!

UK's largest supermarket chain, Tesco's, now sell viagra to the oldest "swingers" in town!

Tesco, Britain's largest supermarket chain, is selling viagra without prescriptions to ageing, "drooping, low-hanging" males. Tesco's stores are being invaded by desperate males hoping for a last chance to impress their partners before "having a h...
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Funny story: Tesco Viagra. A very little, helps.

Tesco Viagra. A very little, helps.

The supermarket Tesco says it is to start selling Viagra over the counter at the 'cheapest price'. As of next week, men who need a little help in the meat and two veg isle, will be able to pick up the 'put him up and stay up' pick me up pill from...
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Funny story: Tesco sold for £1

Tesco sold for £1

Tesco is to be sold for £1 after it has emerged staff in Cardiff have been giving credit or 'tick' to family members for the past 4yrs. Bankers stated the fraudulent situation would of been manageable for the odd loaf or pint of milk but since the...
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Funny story: Government Cuts: Rebuilding of Stonehenge now in doubt

Government Cuts: Rebuilding of Stonehenge now in doubt

Hidden among the cuts announced by the government in the last few days is a project that was originally promoted as a key Conservative initiative. The rebuilding of Stonehenge into a fully operational sports stadium was suggested as an important ele...
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Funny story: David Cameron invites Sir Terry Leahy to Join Coalition

David Cameron invites Sir Terry Leahy to Join Coalition

Our nice new PM has been reported to have invited Sir Terry Leahy the retiring CEO of Tesco to join the coalition government. "Let's face it Tesco has more money than the government - so we would be pretty stupid to not ask him for help" said Da...
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Funny story: 50 Year-Old Man Refused Wine In Tesco's - Because He Had No Idea

50 Year-Old Man Refused Wine In Tesco's - Because He Had No Idea

A man of fifty was stopped from buying a bottle of wine in Tesco's because he admitted to staff that he had no idea what he was buying. He said that he usually drank lager, but had decided on a whim to try wine. Staff at the Birmingham store firs...
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Funny story: "Fight for your rights to wear Jim Jams" Says Noel Fielding

"Fight for your rights to wear Jim Jams" Says Noel Fielding

The European Human Rights campaigner Noel Fielding has called for the Nation to fight for its rights to wear pyjamas. Not just in Tesco, but anywhere they want. He revealed this new campaign at a Press conference in Brussels and says he will die fo...
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Funny story: Mark Hughes Takes Shelf-Stacking Job At Tesco

Mark Hughes Takes Shelf-Stacking Job At Tesco

Unconfirmed reports here in the UK appear to suggest that recently deposed Manchester City manager, Mark Hughes, has accepted a £6.50 an hour temporary contract to be a night shift shelf stacker at a local Tesco Extra store. Hughes, a former Manch...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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