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Funny story: NASA Has Just Purchased The Most Powerful Telescope Ever Manufactured

NASA Has Just Purchased The Most Powerful Telescope Ever Manufactured

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - One of the largest telescope manufacturing companies in the United States has just developed what it says is the most powerful telescope ever made. The Southern Drawl Telescopic Company in Charlotte, North Carolina told...
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Funny story: Nosy scientist causes cosmic stink

Nosy scientist causes cosmic stink

SOSO, Oklahoma-- Dr. Ima Voyeur, an astronomer peeping at the sun through a telescope, was blinded by the light, realizing that it's not polite to peer at heavenly bodies without their knowledge and consent. The sun was in the midst of undressing,...
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Funny story: Sparks and Mensa launch Adjustable Height Heels

Sparks and Mensa launch Adjustable Height Heels

Sparks and Mensa, the high street department store used by people with more brains than cash, has developed the latest must have trend for women: adjustable height heels. "We've all been there," said product designer Frank Boshell. "Sometimes we n...
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Funny story: NASA Fumes As Kepler Telescope Emancipates Himself

NASA Fumes As Kepler Telescope Emancipates Himself

To save face, NASA is reporting that the Kepler telescope is broken. Hogwash! The truth is quite different. And somewhat sad, at least for the space agency. You see, the telescope has declared himself emancipated from his NASA "parents" and has...
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Funny story: London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve

London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve

London's astronomers are over the moon at the announcement that the London Borough of Ealing has been declared an International Dark-Sky Reserve. 'London is an international centre of excellence for numerous endeavours,' explained Mayor of London,...
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Funny story: ALMA captures pix of Isis crystal skull galaxy

ALMA captures pix of Isis crystal skull galaxy

Space - It's existence had been suspected for aeons and was enough to freak out 5th century AD Church elders sufficiently into sexing-up their farcical God-the-Father rants. This week pictures of a crystal skull-like galaxy - described as 'depicti...
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Funny story: New $1.6-Billion Infrared Survey Telescope Goes Up In Smoke

New $1.6-Billion Infrared Survey Telescope Goes Up In Smoke

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Astronomer Joe Camelopardalis says he'd travel a light year for a Cancer stick, and one of these days, it will probably be cheaper to do exactly that. Nicotine junkies across the nation are hoping the Obama administration aband...
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Funny story: 'Killer Comet' tracking telescope destroyed

'Killer Comet' tracking telescope destroyed

A new telescope facility in Hawaii designed to search for asteroids and comets which could threaten Earth has been destroyed in a freak accident. The Pan-STARRS 1 telescope was built primarily to map large portions of the sky each night to track...
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Funny story: Herschel Telescope Spots Giant Eye Looking Into Hole In Space

Herschel Telescope Spots Giant Eye Looking Into Hole In Space

The Herschel Telescope has discovered what appears to be a giant eyeball peering through the hole in space. The discovery was made around 9:52 EST and has the scientific community baffled. "From our estimates, we believe the eyeball to be aroun...
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Funny story: Super telescope site chosen - Erin Andrews not happy

Super telescope site chosen - Erin Andrews not happy

Erin Andrews, the well-known ESPN reporter, is said to be furious following an announcement that a site has been chosen for the European Extremely Large Telescope (E-ELT), which astronomers have said is so powerful it will easily be able to see dista...
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Funny story: Nasa launches Earth hunter rocket

Nasa launches Earth hunter rocket

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL - Nasa, now part of the Air Force, launched a rocket, to find Earth. It was an unmanned mission. The rocket has an expensive Kepler telescope on it. General Pyle was asked about the expense by a reporter in the crowd who ask...
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Funny story: Kepler Space Telescope Launched Today, Looking For Life!

Kepler Space Telescope Launched Today, Looking For Life!

NASA is preparing to launch the Kepler space telescope Friday to help answer questions that has boggled the minds of astronomers for centuries: is Earth the only habitable planet in the galaxy? If not, have they ever visited us? Do they have a big old telescope aimed at us? Are they actually receiving all those old "I Love Lucy" episodes? "This mission attempts to answer a question t...
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Funny story: Tribunal for telescope pair

Tribunal for telescope pair

The tribunal took place yesterday of two ambulance workers accused of gross misconduct after being called to the home of Guitarist Brian May. The two paramedics - named as Robert Brown and Alan Davies worked for the Greater London Ambulance Servic...
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Funny story: Mount Palomar Telescope Sold on Ebay

Mount Palomar Telescope Sold on Ebay

Pahokee, Florida (IP) - The Mount Palomar telescope was sold on ebay today for $14.95. Most would-be bidders did not bother bidding because they figured they would be out bid.
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Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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