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Funny satire stories about summer solstice

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Funny story: Oral sex ban at Druids' Tooting Bec Lido summer solstice esbat

Oral sex ban at Druids' Tooting Bec Lido summer solstice esbat

London - Mayhem surrounds Druids' planned solstice festivities at the London lido made famous by Brad Pitt's boxing scene in the movie Snatch. Refusal to use compulsory non-pagan issue rubbers from the onsite vending machines is causing schism am...
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Funny story: Queen fires tarot reader over 'treasonous' prediction of her RIP

Queen fires tarot reader over 'treasonous' prediction of her RIP

London - The trusty retainer's 10-card spreads have seen her alright for nigh on 30 years. Now Monty Liverish-Gusset RVM (and bar) has been told to bugger orf amid predictions 'the Queen's about to drop dead'. His latest reading showed 'loads...
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Funny story: Solstice manifests St John's Cross crop circle

Solstice manifests St John's Cross crop circle

Wiltshire - The King's Somborne crop circle 'omen' is perfectly aligned with the local medieval Church of St John the Baptist two miles away at Upper Eldon. It sprang up overnight in a barley field during the Solstice crossover ahead of Mid-Summer...
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Funny story: Ratarsed Solstice Druids disturb rare Parliament Hill spider habitat

Ratarsed Solstice Druids disturb rare Parliament Hill spider habitat

London - Drunken Druids have trashed a UNESCO-protected tube-web spider colony in North London's Parliament Hill tonight. Annual Summer Solstice revelry descended into farce around a quarter past six, Hampstead time, just as the sun began its annu...
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Funny story: Swarming Summer Solstice bees swoop on Crown Estate

Swarming Summer Solstice bees swoop on Crown Estate

London - A massive killer bee colony that terrorised much of New York during last week's Lunar Eclipse has suddenly materialised in London. Millions of the angry insects congregated near the Apple Store in Regent Street, the flagship shopping mall...
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Funny story: Queen's Summer Solstice torment as Phil the Greek's EU bailout bombs

Queen's Summer Solstice torment as Phil the Greek's EU bailout bombs

London - Eurozone gravytrain committee astrologers have laughed off Prince Philip's demands for an immediate 12bn euro ($17bn/£10bn) austerity handout. A Brussels statement issued today said he should join his wife Queen Elizabeth in a voluntary b...
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Funny story: Summer Solstice Shocker As BP Logo Crop Circle Manifests on Palace Lawn

Summer Solstice Shocker As BP Logo Crop Circle Manifests on Palace Lawn

London - (Portents): A turf war between Buckingham Palace moles bunkered deep beneath the royal lawn is suspected of being behind the latest grassy etching. The BP logo-themed crop circle appeared hours ahead of Monday's 11.28GMT solar ingress as...
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Funny story: Record Numbers Of Scum Gather At Stonehenge for Solstice

Record Numbers Of Scum Gather At Stonehenge for Solstice

Stonehenge, England - A record number of hairy, Celtic-tattooed, pierce-faced, dreadlocked new-age idiots with skinny dogs on strings gathered at Stonehenge for the summer solstice this year. Roads were gridlocked with rusty transit vans, and the sme...
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Funny story: Stonehenge bans Summer solstice Druids, vegans, goths

Stonehenge bans Summer solstice Druids, vegans, goths

Salisbury Plain, Wilts - (Ass Mess): Druids, vegans and assorted goths are to be excluded from Summer solstice commemoration ceremonies at Stonehenge this week after locals branded them a pest to wildlife who habitually dump excessive tonnes of toxic...
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