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Funny satire stories about suicide

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Funny story:  Man Declared Dead Days Before Suddenly Wakes Up in Morgue

Man Declared Dead Days Before Suddenly Wakes Up in Morgue

A man has amazed doctors and workers at a hospital by waking up after being declared dead two days before. The family had waited till several family members could arrive to hold the funeral in Nairobi, Kenya. Meanwhile a worker at the morgue b...
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Funny story:  MI6 Spy Voted "Most Original Suicide."

MI6 Spy Voted "Most Original Suicide."

Magazine DONTGIFFAFUCK" has voted MI6 death of 2010 the "most original suicide of the decade". The verdict of suicide has just been announced. "The MI6 worker's naked body was found in a padlocked holdall at his London flat in August, 2010" (Dai...
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Funny story:  Paula Deen Launches 'The Suicide Watch Cookbook'

Paula Deen Launches 'The Suicide Watch Cookbook'

Savannah, Georgia -- Ex-celebrity chef Paula Deen has placed another success on the bestseller list. The work is called "The Suicide Watch Cookbook: Dining And Dying." "A suicide watch can be a tremendous waste of time, if you don't plan ahead,"...
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Funny story:  Gun debate leads to a rise in suicides

Gun debate leads to a rise in suicides

Washington, DC -- As the gun control debate enters its fifth month with no end in sight, mental health authorities are blaming the drawn out policy dispute for a rise in the nation's suicide rate. The major television ratings bureaus report a 12.2...
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Funny story:  From rags to stitches

From rags to stitches

Rupert was a man from the back streets of Kensington. He lived out of a modest five bedroom apartment and survived on a mere £200,000 per year. Unfortunately for Rupert his world soon became shattered and broken and he could no longer afford a nanny to look after Francesca and Tarquin so he decided to feed the nanny to his 500ft long tarantula's. The tarantula's were highly maintained and demanded...
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Funny story:  Fiscal Cliff to be twinned with Beachy Head

Fiscal Cliff to be twinned with Beachy Head

Washington - US Treasury officials are querying plans to twin the much dreaded 'fiscal cliff' with a notorious UK chalk headland formed during the last Cretinaceous Period. Beachy Head on the Southern English coast is one of the world's most notor...
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Funny story:  Impossible Success Leaves to Arthur Depression

Impossible Success Leaves to Arthur Depression

James Arthur died of depression yesterday despite having the most successful winner's single so far.James Arthur has recently seen his debut single 'Impossible' break a dozen of records such as 'most glum song of the year'. In a poll conducted by...
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Funny story:  2DayFM DJs in tragic double surgery accidents

2DayFM DJs in tragic double surgery accidents

Mel Greig and Michael Christian, the two DJs at the centre of the Kate Middleton prank-call controversy, have died in apparently unrelated accidents while undergoing surgery at the same hospital in Sydney. Greig, 30, who had been admitted to St.Vi...
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Funny story:  Downtrodden Obama "Accidentally" Puts Himself on Kill List

Downtrodden Obama "Accidentally" Puts Himself on Kill List

In a shocking Wikileaks disclosure, it was revealed late last night that President Obama, who the New York Times reported maintains a "kill list" of persons targeted for assassination, recently put himself on the kill list - by accident. Or was it...
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Funny story:  Dying With Dignity

Dying With Dignity

Eion Logon, 28, from Little Hambaconton travelled to Switzerland today to Switzerland to visit the Dignitas clinic. He had wanted to put a end to his life for some time but claims he just never found the time to do it. Mr Logon said: "I get terrib...
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Funny story:  Therapy is now available for disappointed iPhone 5 fans

Therapy is now available for disappointed iPhone 5 fans

In the wake of the massively over-hyped and under-specified iPhone 5, Apple Computers have announced that they will provide free therapy for all those consumers that have succumbed and bought one of the new devices. "We're aware of the massive cru...
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Funny story:  Masses of global Facebook users commit suicide; they got cut off!

Masses of global Facebook users commit suicide; they got cut off!

Reports of mass global suicides have been reaching Spoof HQ, but not because there are rumours going round that our beloved Cockney Clive has retired, no! The suicidal ones are Facebook users who were cut off from their lifelines. Unable to tell t...
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Funny story:  Man Jumps off of Building, Saved by a Pigeon

Man Jumps off of Building, Saved by a Pigeon

I was having a really bad day so I jumped off the ledge of the building I worked at and was making my way toward the ground when this pigeon comes flying up beside me, feverishly flapping his wings to keep up with my descent. "Hey stupid?" The pigeon yelled out. Surprised, I looked over at the rat with feathers and replied. "I didn't know pigeons could talk?" "Yea, well it's not like we...
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Funny story:  Spoof Writer Contemplates Suicide, Decides Ice Cream is a Better Option

Spoof Writer Contemplates Suicide, Decides Ice Cream is a Better Option

SAN DIEGO - Mediocre Spoof Magazine 'Spoof Ned' (a play on the phrase 'Spoon Fed') recently published a satirical article entitled 'With US Economy in Turmoil, Astronauts Decide to Stay in Space' by Edward James Henrickson. The article was met with r...
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Funny story:  Man Who Wakes From 30 Year Coma Asks to be Put Back to Sleep

Man Who Wakes From 30 Year Coma Asks to be Put Back to Sleep

David Lindersnout, of Cedar Falls, Idaho, woke up yesterday from a 30 year coma. Lindersnout had some friends and family in the area. Doctors were more baffled by the man's attitude after only a few hours of being awake. Lindersnout was visited b...
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Funny story:  Pennsylvania Government Imposes Unconstitutional New Exhaust Regulations

Pennsylvania Government Imposes Unconstitutional New Exhaust Regulations

Pennsylvania legislature voted unanimously Friday April 8th 2011 to provide Bovine subsidies to cattle farmers to help them comply with their ultra strict Pennsylvania Climate Change Act of July 2008. This subsidy will reimburse farmers $1,000 per a...
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Funny story:  Fish Attack!

Fish Attack!

A young fisherman in Bolivia committed suicide in the most awesome distressing way yesterday. He took his trusty two man boat (the SS Clinically Depressed) out onto a stretch of river that was known locally as "Wie sobberus do solim goeous" which rou...
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Funny story:  Jumpers in Cardigan cause drivers to pullover

Jumpers in Cardigan cause drivers to pullover

A sudden spate in suicides in Cardigan, Wales, has caused traffic chaos over the holiday period. "We cannot identify a reason for these sudden suicides," said Cardigan police inspector John Barnaby. "It's not the first time there has been a suicid...
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Michael Moore's Latest Film in Current Previews

Conspiracy sniffer-head Moore has cinematically digitized his latest gambit to expose a secret scheme in the baking industry. His Rotundity's new film is entitled "Wall Street Tookover My Twinkies!"

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