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Funny satire stories about suicide

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Funny story: 'What Dreams Shall Come' - A Spoof Tribute To Robin Williams

'What Dreams Shall Come' - A Spoof Tribute To Robin Williams

Suicides were always a pain for Detective Malny. Always ugly. Always depressing, although he never let that show. This one especially. Robin Williams. One of the most famous comics ever. The guy who always made people laugh. Found hanging by a belt. By his own hands. He was met at the house by Detective Tromsa, one of the first ones on the scene, someone he had worked with often before...
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Funny story: Local Businessman Commits Suicide After It Took Him 16 Minutes To Save 14%

Local Businessman Commits Suicide After It Took Him 16 Minutes To Save 14%

Bloomington, IL - A Bloomington man was found dead yesterday, apparently the victim of a fatal self-inflicted paper cut. Lowell D. Ductible, a senior accountant with Smith & Wesson, was found in the family room of his home by his live-in lands...
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Funny story: Spooky stuff as rash of banker suicides hits London

Spooky stuff as rash of banker suicides hits London

London, UK - An early start to the annual banker jumping season is underway this morning with reports that a senior JP Morgan executive plunged to his death from the top of a notorious 500ft 'hexed' skyscraper in London's Canary Wharf financial dist...
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Funny story: Man Declared Dead Days Before Suddenly Wakes Up in Morgue

Man Declared Dead Days Before Suddenly Wakes Up in Morgue

A man has amazed doctors and workers at a hospital by waking up after being declared dead two days before. The family had waited till several family members could arrive to hold the funeral in Nairobi, Kenya. Meanwhile a worker at the morgue b...
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Funny story: MI6 Spy Voted "Most Original Suicide."

MI6 Spy Voted "Most Original Suicide."

Magazine DONTGIFFAFUCK" has voted MI6 death of 2010 the "most original suicide of the decade". The verdict of suicide has just been announced. "The MI6 worker's naked body was found in a padlocked holdall at his London flat in August, 2010" (Dai...
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Funny story: Paula Deen Launches 'The Suicide Watch Cookbook'

Paula Deen Launches 'The Suicide Watch Cookbook'

Savannah, Georgia -- Ex-celebrity chef Paula Deen has placed another success on the bestseller list. The work is called "The Suicide Watch Cookbook: Dining And Dying." "A suicide watch can be a tremendous waste of time, if you don't plan ahead,"...
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Funny story: Gun debate leads to a rise in suicides

Gun debate leads to a rise in suicides

Washington, DC -- As the gun control debate enters its fifth month with no end in sight, mental health authorities are blaming the drawn out policy dispute for a rise in the nation's suicide rate. The major television ratings bureaus report a 12.2...
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Funny story: From rags to stitches

From rags to stitches

Rupert was a man from the back streets of Kensington. He lived out of a modest five bedroom apartment and survived on a mere £200,000 per year. Unfortunately for Rupert his world soon became shattered and broken and he could no longer afford a nanny to look after Francesca and Tarquin so he decided to feed the nanny to his 500ft long tarantula's. The tarantula's were highly maintained and demanded...
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Funny story: Fiscal Cliff to be twinned with Beachy Head

Fiscal Cliff to be twinned with Beachy Head

Washington - US Treasury officials are querying plans to twin the much dreaded 'fiscal cliff' with a notorious UK chalk headland formed during the last Cretinaceous Period. Beachy Head on the Southern English coast is one of the world's most notor...
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Funny story: Impossible Success Leaves to Arthur Depression

Impossible Success Leaves to Arthur Depression

James Arthur died of depression yesterday despite having the most successful winner's single so far.James Arthur has recently seen his debut single 'Impossible' break a dozen of records such as 'most glum song of the year'. In a poll conducted by...
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Funny story: 2DayFM DJs in tragic double surgery accidents

2DayFM DJs in tragic double surgery accidents

Mel Greig and Michael Christian, the two DJs at the centre of the Kate Middleton prank-call controversy, have died in apparently unrelated accidents while undergoing surgery at the same hospital in Sydney. Greig, 30, who had been admitted to St.Vi...
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Funny story: Downtrodden Obama "Accidentally" Puts Himself on Kill List

Downtrodden Obama "Accidentally" Puts Himself on Kill List

In a shocking Wikileaks disclosure, it was revealed late last night that President Obama, who the New York Times reported maintains a "kill list" of persons targeted for assassination, recently put himself on the kill list - by accident. Or was it...
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Funny story: Dying With Dignity

Dying With Dignity

Eion Logon, 28, from Little Hambaconton travelled to Switzerland today to Switzerland to visit the Dignitas clinic. He had wanted to put a end to his life for some time but claims he just never found the time to do it. Mr Logon said: "I get terrib...
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Funny story: Therapy is now available for disappointed iPhone 5 fans

Therapy is now available for disappointed iPhone 5 fans

In the wake of the massively over-hyped and under-specified iPhone 5, Apple Computers have announced that they will provide free therapy for all those consumers that have succumbed and bought one of the new devices. "We're aware of the massive cru...
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Funny story: Masses of global Facebook users commit suicide; they got cut off!

Masses of global Facebook users commit suicide; they got cut off!

Reports of mass global suicides have been reaching Spoof HQ, but not because there are rumours going round that our beloved Cockney Clive has retired, no! The suicidal ones are Facebook users who were cut off from their lifelines. Unable to tell t...
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Funny story: Man Jumps off of Building, Saved by a Pigeon

Man Jumps off of Building, Saved by a Pigeon

I was having a really bad day so I jumped off the ledge of the building I worked at and was making my way toward the ground when this pigeon comes flying up beside me, feverishly flapping his wings to keep up with my descent. "Hey stupid?" The pigeon yelled out. Surprised, I looked over at the rat with feathers and replied. "I didn't know pigeons could talk?" "Yea, well it's not like we...
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Funny story: Spoof Writer Contemplates Suicide, Decides Ice Cream is a Better Option

Spoof Writer Contemplates Suicide, Decides Ice Cream is a Better Option

SAN DIEGO - Mediocre Spoof Magazine 'Spoof Ned' (a play on the phrase 'Spoon Fed') recently published a satirical article entitled 'With US Economy in Turmoil, Astronauts Decide to Stay in Space' by Edward James Henrickson. The article was met with r...
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Funny story: Man Who Wakes From 30 Year Coma Asks to be Put Back to Sleep

Man Who Wakes From 30 Year Coma Asks to be Put Back to Sleep

David Lindersnout, of Cedar Falls, Idaho, woke up yesterday from a 30 year coma. Lindersnout had some friends and family in the area. Doctors were more baffled by the man's attitude after only a few hours of being awake. Lindersnout was visited b...
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Breaking News...

Barack I Now Wants to Be Addressed With a New Moniker

WashDC: Emperor Barack I has issued an imperial order that all courtiers and palace plebs shall now address him as: His Excellent Cubaness "Che-Fidelio". The Secret Service scrambled to update codes.
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