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Funny satire stories about spit

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Funny story: Hawkers, Outlaws of the Sporting World

Hawkers, Outlaws of the Sporting World

Unlike its tame cousins--cherry pit and watermelon seed spitters, hawkers are truly hard-core. These men, and they are all mostly men, will travel long distances to practice the art and science of professional spitting. Bragging rights and the admiration of their peers are the only rewards given in what has now become an underground sport. It has been driven underground by local boards of hea...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Receives A Message About His Spitting From Mafia Boss Salvatore Goombalini

Justin Bieber Receives A Message About His Spitting From Mafia Boss Salvatore Goombalini

BROOKLYN - Salvatore Goombalini, head of one of New York's biggest crime family's, has heard about Justin Bieber's penchant for going around spitting on people. In the latest of half a dozen saliva incidents, Bieber stood on a hotel balcony and sp...
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Funny story: Justin Bieber Sells His Wyoming Ranch

Justin Bieber Sells His Wyoming Ranch

LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber is concerned that he may be having to shell out some big bucks due to a couple of lawsuits that have been filed against him. One lawsuit contends that Bieber spat on his neighbor because he complained that Bieber's thre...
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Funny story: Gaston selects his running mate

Gaston selects his running mate

Washington DC - Presumptive President, Gaston, has announced to a small cadre of reporters that he has chosen his running mate. In a surprise move, the Mormon underwear-wearing cartoon character Gaston, known for his superlative qualities of hitting...
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Funny story: Spitting Ban Is Breach Of Human Rights Claim Expectorators

Spitting Ban Is Breach Of Human Rights Claim Expectorators

A London council's plans to ban spitting are a breach of human rights says a national pressure group. Enfield Council has collected 3,700 signatures on a petition calling for the ban and now is asking local government minister Eric Pickles to appr...
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Funny story: Baseball players promise "more spitting"

Baseball players promise "more spitting"

Major league baseball players promised to do more spitting as the season draws to a close. League spokesman Dirk Ritley said that with the approaching playoff season, fans expect the players' spitting to reach a peak as well. He stated "People tho...
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Funny story: Miss Universe China being taught not to spit in public

Miss Universe China being taught not to spit in public

BEIJING: Conscious of its vulgar public habits and coarse social behaviors China has hired a culture trainer to teach basic manners to its Miss Universe representative. The secretly-crowned Miss China is being given a crash course in foreign cultu...
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Funny story: UK anti-spitting law - Lewinsky speaks out

UK anti-spitting law - Lewinsky speaks out

New laws being introduced in the UK to make spitting in public a criminal offence, needed to address the problem of 'sticky' pavements in major cities throughout Britain, have brought condemnation from Monika Lewinsky, the White House intern involved...
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Funny story: Phlegm of the Month

Phlegm of the Month

Match of the Day has revealed a radical departure from their well know "Goal of the Month". Anchorman Gary Linuchhhher told me, "Since the departure of Adrian Chiles we felt that the old order of things needed an upgrade, and what better than to s...
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Funny story: Major League Baseball Bans Spitting

Major League Baseball Bans Spitting

In a bold attempt to improve its image, Bud Selig, Commissioner of Major League Baseball, yesterday announced that, effective immediately, spitting has been banned from the sport. "Little old ladies throughout America have long complained about th...
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Funny story: World Gobbing Festival Goes Ahead!

World Gobbing Festival Goes Ahead!

The World Gobbing Festival will go ahead as planned on 17/07/09. Below are the entry categories (beginners and foreign gentleman welcome by the way). Cough and Gob Distance Contest: Current UK record held by Maurice Heave of Chelmsford, 5.7 metres. Consecutive Gobs over the Rugby Post: Current UK record held by Mary Griffiths of Clwyd, North Wales. 57 Gobs of varying sizes and textures.
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Funny story: Hand Sanitizer Proven No Better than Mother's Spit

Hand Sanitizer Proven No Better than Mother's Spit

After a year of research into the antiseptic qualities of the typical over-the-counter, alcohol based hand sanitizer, researchers now admit that the ingredients in the sanitizer are no more effective than the spit from any mother's mouth. Side by...
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Funny story: Rays out Spit Red Sox to no Avail

Rays out Spit Red Sox to no Avail

Tampa Bay, FL - UPDATE 1 - Actually, this story comes from St. Petersburg, Florida. It is not clear why the baseball team bears the initials TB on their caps. The TB team lost by two runs. They did manage to out-spit the Red Sox 532 to 345. How...
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Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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