BRILLIANT, Ohio - In front of a hometown live television audience, Illusionist/Contortionist, Mr. Winston Brevity, in a stellar reality performance, managed to contort himself into a pretzel and then disappear up his own butt.
As advertised in th...
CLEVELAND - In an astounding sighting, several people sailing on Lake Erie have reported seeing a sperm whale in the freshwater lake.
One of the individuals, Wexford Spillovich, 48, said that he and his brand new bride Kylee Tina, 43, were sailing...
MARINA DEL REY - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev, the stars of The Vampire Diaries, borrowed their good friend Rob Pattinson's yacht, The Twilight Tigress.
The two sailed out on the Pacific Ocean to watch the annual sperm whale mating rituals off...
Two of the big four High Street supermarket chains Asco and Tesda are to start selling the highly controversial Whale Milk. The other three of the big two, Sainssons and Morribury's are watching sales of Whale Milk with interest.
PETAL, the People...
The day after MTV's premiere of Italian-American smear-fest "Jersey Shore Season 2: Son of Jersey Shore," tangerine-colored porker Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was arrested in Seaside Heights, NJ, where the show is currently filming.
Police officials c...
Former President William Jefferson Clinton, AKA the Sperm Whale, tickled Kim Jong Il "in just the right places," resulting in the pardoning of two US journalists held in North Korea. "Ya know what ole Freud said, 'Sometimes a cigar is just a phallus...
London - (Ass Mess): Marine conservationists at London Zoo believe that global warming is responsible for a spate of virgin births among sperm whale females following their alarming disinterest in traditional mating.
Most Giant Squid remains have been found in the stomachs of Sperm Whales. This has led some of the stupider Marine Biologists to theorize that the belly of the Sperm Whale is in fact the natural habitat of the Giant Squid. Finally, today, we have p...
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Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!
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