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Funny story: Justice Sonia Sotomayor to Pitch for Yankees in World Series

Justice Sonia Sotomayor to Pitch for Yankees in World Series

The newest Supreme Court Justice is, for sure, a team player. Literally. During breaks in court sessions, she's warming up for her latest gig, pitching for the New York Yankees in the World Series. Yankees manager Joe Girardi was not eager t...
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Funny story: NRA fuming at 'some liberal dildo dyke's second amendment ruling'

NRA fuming at 'some liberal dildo dyke's second amendment ruling'

Washington - (High Noon at the OK Corrall): "No one's exactly sayin' Judge Sonia 'Dildo Dyke' Sotomayor's a frickin' biased gun control freak from hell," a NRA convention heard today. "But we have the constitutional right to deter undemocratic gov...
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Funny story: Anderson Cooper Interviews The New Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor

Anderson Cooper Interviews The New Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor

Sonia Sotomayor granted CNN's Anderson Cooper the first interview since officially becoming a United States Supreme Court Judge. AC: Good morning Sonia, if I may call you Sonia. SS: Well actually I would prefer that you call me United States Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor. I worked very hard to achieve that title and I just want to hear it as many times as I can. AC: Fair enough. So tell...
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Funny story: Sotomayor Admits to Lobotomy

Sotomayor Admits to Lobotomy

Judge Sonia Sotomayor admitted today to having submitted to a partial lobotomy in preparation for the Senate confirmation hearings last week. The operation performed at the behest of the White House took place in an outpatient clinic in the Bronx. Un...
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Funny story: The Grilling, Sauteing, and Deep Frying of Sonia Sotomayor

The Grilling, Sauteing, and Deep Frying of Sonia Sotomayor

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Supreme Court Justice nominee Sonia Sotomayor has now been grilled, sauteed, and deep fried by the Senate Confirmation Committee for a total of 8,297 hours, which is enough time for OctuMom to have gotten pregnant twice. The ave...
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Funny story: Sotomayor Quotes Ozzy Osbourne at Confirmation Hearing

Sotomayor Quotes Ozzy Osbourne at Confirmation Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The pungent aroma of Sotomayor asada filled the air Wednesday at the Capitol Building as prominent Republicans turned up the heat on Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, who was sweating profusely by midday under their incessant...
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Funny story: Sotomayor "Picks Up the Pace" at Confirmation Hearing Dinner Party

Sotomayor "Picks Up the Pace" at Confirmation Hearing Dinner Party

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor delivered a 7-minute speech aimed primarily at Senate Republicans at a dinner party following Monday's confirmation hearings, declaring that "authenticity to her roots" is at the heart of her c...
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Funny story: Vincenzo Fosterini 'suicide' note judge is Obama Supreme Court pick

Vincenzo Fosterini 'suicide' note judge is Obama Supreme Court pick

Washington AC/DC - (White Water-Boarding Ass Mess): A US District Court Judge who gave the Off-the-Wall Street Journal permission to publish Hillary Clinton's former lover's entirely spoof 'suicide' note is Barack Obama's latest Supreme Court pick.
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New Jersey Gov Has New Promotion Gig

Chris Christie was named by the American Lard Assn as their new spokesperson. Lard Ass President Bud Gristel named the Gov after learning that Christie's favorite book is The Count of Mounds of Crisco
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