Boca Raton, FL - TV executives from the SyFy Channel are excited after receiving great ratings for the latest Sharknado offering and have already announced a new project, Slothicane!
According to early reports, the plot for Slothicane will fol...
The Seeing Sloth, a guide animal school specializing in training sloths, has announced that the first guide animals will be available to the general public in the coming months, or perhaps years.
Despite the fact that the school is called The See...
Space - A colony of mutant species from the Bradypodidae genus of three-toed sloths is suspected of being indigenous to the newly discovered planet.
Imagery from NASA's Kepler space telescope reveals the distinctive arboreal critters whose closest...
Lazy Harry, a Sloth in London Zoo has called for his species to undergo a name change. Speaking to us at a very slow speed the formerly white, but now algae tinted mammal told us:
'I think it is very bad for our self esteem to be called by one of...
Avram Grant was last night embroiled in a legal battle the likes of which this country has never seen.
After West Ham's owner's David Short-And-Stubby and David Albino-Malnourished-Lion-Face made clear to Grant that his tenure had come to an end,...
AP Newsliar -- After a lengthy selection process, Bald Eagles have chosen humans to be the national primate of the United States.
Since the beginning of time man has been studying ways to live longer. The cave people did this by simply observing that those who got in the path of a Giant Sloth tended not to live as long as those who didn't. Thus they extended their overall population life span by practicing sloth-avoidance.
There was Ponce de Leon and his frustrated search for the fountain of youth. He missed...
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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