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Funny satire stories about slang

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Funny story:  Fatima Whitbread tipped to win willy waving contest

Fatima Whitbread tipped to win willy waving contest

Fatima Whitbread is being tipped to win I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here by an Australian bookie. "The Aborigine is the only fair dinkum bloke left in the programme since the scouser Freddie Starr chucked a sickie", claimed Crocodile Ocker.
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Funny story:  Neil Warnock's teeth

Neil Warnock's teeth

QPR fans are chewing over the formation of their manager's new teeth. "Sir Neil's Hampsteads don't seem to fit, he looks like Dick Emery's vicar" proclaimed lifelong QPR fan Ginger Vitis, a dental hygienist from East Acton. Warnock guided his...
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Funny story:  'rrests made of the bloomin' rioters and users of Cockney Matheson Lang

'rrests made of the bloomin' rioters and users of Cockney Matheson Lang

Scotland Yard reports that Bo-le of Glue thousand people 'ad been nicked - and more than Ca and Calf or 1,135 'ad been charged for riotin'. Of those charged, over 700 're guilty of speakin' Cockney Matheson Lang. Scotland Yard 'as also organized...
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Funny story:  Harry Redknapp's vocabulary looted in Tottenham riots

Harry Redknapp's vocabulary looted in Tottenham riots

Harry Redknapp's vocabulary has been looted and left for brown bread by tea leaves during the Tottenham riots. "The toe rags have half inched all my favourite words" said a down in the north and south 'Arry. Bundles of expressions, a collecti...
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Funny story:  Top Judge gives Cockney 'life' for small willy joke.

Top Judge gives Cockney 'life' for small willy joke.

A petty crook has been sent to prison for life after belittling a Judge's manhood. Willy Scrote, of Hampton Wick, had originally received a "modest fine" for exposing himself in front of the Royal Box at Ascot on Ladies' Day. The jurors were to...
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Funny story:  Now Harry Redknapp Tells Abramovich To Bugger His Balalaika

Now Harry Redknapp Tells Abramovich To Bugger His Balalaika

Having already told Roman Abramovich to stick his caviar up where the sun don't shine, Spurs boss, Harry Redknapp has now suggested the Chelsea oligarch goes and 'buggers his balalaika'. Chelsea's megabucks supremo, Abramovich, is reportedly ho...
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Funny story:  One ended mobile call Overheard!

One ended mobile call Overheard!

This morning, our Spoof reporter, Inchcock Chambers, was doing his laundry at this local launderette (the police has fininshed the break-in investigation, and the windows have been boarded up), and overheard the following from a young lady in the shop. He thought perhaps someone could work out what the conversation actually applied to, and inform him please? The young lady answered the incom...
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True Facts From Snoops #1345

When alarmed, Oprah Winfrey can swell up to five times her normal size. She was taught this by Dr. Oz.

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